З життя
Ліза боялася одружитися не через дочку чи вік вдовця, а через страх перед ним.
Мачуха добре бачила, що Оксана не хотіла йти заміж за вдівця, не через те, що у нього була маленька донька, і не тому, що був старший, а тому, що вона його дуже боялася. Його пронизливий погляд пробирав до самого серця, і від страху воно починало частіше битися, мов намагалося захистити себе від уколів цих очей. Очі Оксана опускала до підлоги і довго не наважувалася підняти, а коли піднімала, всі помічали, що вони наповнені слізьми. І ці сльози струмочками текли по щоках, рум’яних від збентеження. Руки тремтіли, і маленькі кулачки хотіли відгородитися від мачухи й нав’язаного жениха. Зрадник-язык, будь він проклятим, сказав: “Піду”.
– От і домовилися. У такий-то дім, до такого-то господаря, гріх не піти! Адже він з першої дружини пилинки здував, вона ж бо недолуга була, слабенька, все кашляла. Буває, йдуть, він три кроки, а вона один. Зупиниться й дихає, як паровоз, він її обійме, втішає, не кричить, як твій батько, з глузду зійшовши.
Коли вона вагітна ходила, то її ніхто майже не бачив на вулиці. Усе лежала, а потім, після пологів, він усі ночі до дитини вставав, а вона зовсім зачахла. Мати його так говорила.
– А ти кров з молоком, він тебе в красний кут посадить. Ти вправна, умієш до всього, і до коси, і до серпа, і прясти, і ткати. Гріх тебе віддавати за молодого, у них ще характер не встановлений, дурість не показана, а у цього все видно, ми про нього все знаємо. Як же тобі пощастило!
Самогоном я пригощу, посидимо вечір, а вдовцю не до весілля, не варто мертву образитися танцями. А придане він наказав не збирати, сказав, що дім повна чаша.
Федір уперше одружився по любові, знаючи, що Віра часто хворіла, була слабкою, та й мама говорила, що він чоловік видавний, сильний, йому жінка потрібна, а не недужа, але ні люди, ні розум своїм його переконати не могли, лише Веру йому подавай, і все.
У селі ходили чутки, що його зачарували, бо лише зачарована людина, не живучи віку, вирішила своє життя перетворити на лікарню, страждання, болі. Лікарі казали, що в Віри дуже слабкі легені, будь-яка застуда веде до запалення, астми, а там хто знає, може й гірше.
Федір думав, що своєю любов’ю він відштовхне смерть від дружини, буде лікувати її, доглядати, і недуг зникне. На початку, справді, після весілля все йшло добре. Щасливі молоді не могли натішитися своїм щастям.
Потім, коли Віра завагітніла, немов усе нутро у неї вивернули навиворіт, постійна слабкість у всьому тілі, запаморочення, сонливість, зробили її настільки слабкою, що вона не могла ні випрати, ні корову подоїти, навіть розчесати свої пишні довгі волоси не могла.
Лікарі казали, що це токсемія, от народить і окріпе. Федір доглядав за Вірою з любов’ю без дорікань. Мати його дорікала йому вдень і вночі, що привів у дім не господиню, а проблему. Федір захищав дружину, як яструб своє гніздо, і маму попросив до них не приходити.
Народила Віра дівчинку, і Федір сподівався, що сили, радість повернуться в сім’ю. Так, щастя повернулося, але ненадовго. Одного разу застудившись, Віра так і не змогла отямитися, а зникала на очах.
Забрали її до лікарні, але лікар прямо сказав:
– У неї легені не в порядку.
Сказав просто, по-сільському. Віра знала, що їй залишилося небагато, спершу трималася та не показувала виду. Витискала з себе усмішку, що більше нагадувала болісну гримасу, губи всміхалися, а очі виказували біль та страх за завтрашній день, за доньку.
Наче погляд прощався й наказував запам’ятати її усміхненою, веселою. Її худоба з викошеними ребрами на спині, втісна груди, висохлі кисті рук, опущені худі плечі без слів говорили, що смерть ходить поруч і чекає останнього зітхання своєї обраниці.
Передчуваючи свій відхід, Віра попросила чоловіка вислухати її прохання.
– Ще не народився той, хто порушить плани Бога. Наша любов сіла за боротьбу зі смертю, більше нема сил, та й я втомилася від болю, від думок. Я прошу у тебе пробачення, і у доньки теж. Сама народилася на горі, і вас прирекла на страждання.
Федір узяв її гарячі руки в свої і почав цілувати. За важким, переривчастим подихом він зрозумів, що вона поспішає сказати щось важливе, він відчував, що жити їй залишилося лише кілька хвилин.
Вона несамовито казала про свою любов до них, про переживання за дочку, казала захлинаючись, а потім перевела дух і повільно сказала:
– Одружуйся на Оксані, вона буде хорошою дружиною, ти хороший чоловік, батько, вона буде хорошою матер’ю, бо сама натерпілася від мачухи, сводних сестер, батька-п’яниці. Я знаю її життя, та й мама наша знає їйню сім’ю, а в неї орлиний погляд, все бачить наперед.
Дуже Оксана лагідна, роботяща, терпелива, дочку не образить, тебе вона полюбить. Бути тільки з нею, як зі мною. Відноситися до неї так, наче я в її оболонці поруч з тобою. Пробач мені за ці слова, але в мене не тільки легені чорні, а й душа почорніла від думок за дочку, а там сам дивись, твоя доля теж Богом написана, як вирішиш, так і буде. Але запам’ятай, доньку не образиш, інакше прокляну з того світу. Останні слова вона вимовила повільно і виразно.
Водночас, як тільки могла, стиснула руку чоловіка.
Федір плакав, і сльози розмили образ дружини, він відчував за її диханням, як кохана відходить. Ангельське, спокійне обличчя з усмішкою на губах дивилося в одну точку. Рука продовжувала стискати його руку.
Федір почав її цілувати від голови до ніг, водночас причитаючи, воячи, обіцяв зробити все, як вона звеліла. Отже, після року смерті дружини прийшов засвататися до Оксани.
Мачуху він підготувала його теща, вона теж бажала для своєї внучки гарну маму. Сама вона хворіла і боялася, що жити їй залишилося небагато, і хотіла, щоб внучка і зять влаштували своє життя.
Їй, як нікому, було відомо, через що пройшов її улюблений зять, і за його ставлення до її дочки вона була готова цілувати йому ноги і просити у Бога на колінах щастя для Федора.
Як в тумані пройшло сватання. Бачачи, як доньці важко без уваги матері, та й йому важко без господині, вирішив прохання дружини виконати. Він завчасно почав придивлятися до Оксани і помітив, що вона дуже покірна, слухняна, красива і навіть чимось нагадує дружину. Така ж коса, така ж усмішка, така ж хода.
Подекуди йому хотілося підійти ближче і обійняти міцно, міцно, помовчати хвилину, уявляючи образ дружини.
Сама Оксана не могла пояснити, чому вона погодилася вийти за Федора. Чи то набридло бути прислугою мачухи, чи то набридло приводити п’яного батька додому й захищати його від нападок мачухи, або втомилася від насмішок сестер, а може було жалісно дочку Федора?
Але як би там не було, давши згоду, вона зрозуміла, що їй належить ще одне випробування – це полюбити і закохати в себе Федора.
Після сватання Федор вирішив ближче познайомити дочку з Оксаною. Віра рідко виходила на вулицю, весь час перебувала з донькою. Кожну хвилину, та що там, кожну секунду, вона милувалася Алінкою.
Часом, прокидаючись вночі, чоловік бачив, як дружина, схиляючись над донькою, щось шепотіла, ніби наставляла, радила, як потрібно жити після її відходу.
Федір не міг без сліз подумати про те, що говорила Віра своїй маленькій частині свого серця. Але Алінка була домашньою дитиною, взагалі ніколи не підходила до чужих, у неї був тато, мама, бабуся й ще одна сварлива, незадоволена баба.
Федір привів Оксану в свій дім, щоб вона подивилася на дочку, щоб побути разом без надмірно радісної мачухи, яка вела себе так, наче нарешті з двору прибирають корову, яка не дає молока.
Оксана в присутності Федора в основному мовчала, але помітила, що він зовсім не похмурий, а навпаки, дуже ввічливий, уважний. Він прямо спитав у майбутньої дружини, якщо в неї є коханий хлопець, то він відійде убік. Про прохання дружини він не сказав жодного слова.
Дім Оксану шокував своєю обстановкою. Прекрасні меблі, зроблені власноруч, багато майстерно вишитих картин у дерев’яних ажурних рамках, покритих лаком. Великі, світлі кімнати. Алінка, побачивши Оксану, повела себе дивно, вона не злякалася, а навпаки, стала кокетувати.
Аліна винесла свої іграшки й стала просити Оксану погратися з нею. При цьому намагалася доторкнутися ручкою до гості. Дивилася дуже цікавими очима і часом усміхалася. Оксана кілька разів під час гри обіймала її й своєю рукою поправляла шикарні, як у мами, волоси.
— А давай, я тобі зачіску зроблю, і будеш ти в мене як принцеса.
Федір спостерігав за їхніми іграми, за їхнім спілкуванням, і душа його заплакала від радості.
Йому було страшно приводити Оксану додому, бо Алінка постійно питала про маму, постійно дивилася у вікно, ніби вишукувала її на вулиці, а коли хтось заходив до хати, то бігла назустріч у надії, що повернулася, нарешті, мама. Федір намагався їй усе пояснити, але Алінці йшов четвертий рік, і її маленькому серцю не потрібно було пояснень, їй потрібна була ніжна, добра мама.
Федір розумів, що за всього його бажання увага, любов і обійми ніколи не замінять материнських ніжних рук, материнської ласки, материнського душевного тепла.
Він розумів і боявся обманутися в Оксані. Але, побачивши, як Алінка скривила ротик, зібралася заплакати через те, що Оксана йде, то спокій огорнув Федора.
Алінка взяла Оксану за руку і повела до своєї кімнати, прибрала покривало, ручками, як господиня, почала збивати подушки, від радості залізла на ліжко і почала стрибати аж до стелі.
Оксана згадала себе, як до них прийшла мачуха, як вона потім дорікала її куском хліба, як ховала і таємно давала солодощі своїм дочкам, як била по руках за незроблену непосильну роботу, як завжди доношувала за її дочками зашиті плаття, як п’яного батька клали на підлогу, а в неї від жалю розривалося серце, і вона накривала його своєю ковдрою.
Згадала, як мачуха сказала, що першому зустрічному, як непотрібну скотину, жене з двору, згадала мачушині прокльони, і з комом у горлі підійшла до Алінки. Міцно, міцно обійняла і прилягла з нею поруч. Заплющила донечка міцним, щасливим сном.
Федір від радості не знав, як поводитися з Оксаною. Пили чай і просто дивилися одне на одного, усміхалися. Оксану він не відпустив додому.
Не відпустив і все!
Дружина повинна бути з чоловіком, а не йти туди, де її не чекають.
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Staying Connected Every morning, Mrs. Hope Dawson’s day began the same way: putting the kettle on, spooning two heaps of tea into her beloved, chubby old pot—the one she’d treasured since her children were small and the world still felt wide open. As the water boiled, she flicked on the kitchen radio to half-listen to the news. The voices of the announcers were more familiar to her than many faces she knew. On the wall hung a clock with yellow hands. The hands still ticked reliably, but the shrill ring of the landline beneath them echoed through the flat less and less. It used to crackle in the evenings, when friends would call to discuss soaps or compare blood pressure. These days, friends were either under the weather, had moved away to help their children, or slipped away entirely. The hefty landline stood in the corner, its receiver fitting comfortably in her palm. Sometimes Mrs. Dawson would fondly stroke the handset in passing, as if checking that this old line of communication was still alive. Her children phoned each other by mobile now. At least, she was sure they did: when they visited, their phones were always in hand. Her son could fall silent mid-conversation, gaze at his screen, apologise—“Just a second”—then start tapping away. Her granddaughter—a slender girl with a long ponytail—barely let go of her own. Her whole world, it seemed, was in that little device: friends, games, lessons, music. Everything for everyone else was there. For Mrs. Dawson, it was just her old brick of a mobile. They’d bought it after her first hospital scare. “So we can always reach you,” her son had explained. The phone itself rested in a grey case on the hallway shelf. Sometimes she forgot to charge it. Sometimes it ended up buried in her bag among tissues and shop receipts. It rarely rang, and when it did, she often fumbled the buttons, then scolded herself for being slow. That day was her seventy-fifth birthday. The number felt strange—foreign. Inside, she felt scarcely older than sixty-five. Maybe sixty. But passports don’t lie. The morning rolled on in its usual way: tea, radio, a gentle joint exercise routine from the surgery. She fetched yesterday’s homemade salad from the fridge, set out a pie. Her children had promised to arrive at two. It still amazed her that birthdays were now orchestrated via some ‘group chat’ and not over the phone. Once, her son had explained, “Tanya and I sort everything in the family chat. I’ll show you sometime.” He never did. To Mrs. Dawson, ‘chat’ sounded like something from another life—a place where people lived inside little windows and only spoke in letters. At two o’clock they bustled in. First Grandson Archie, rucksack and headphones, then Granddaughter Daisy, quiet as a mouse, and finally her son and daughter-in-law, arms laden with bags. Instantly the flat was filled with the scent of bakery treats, her daughter-in-law’s perfume, and a fresh, quicksilver fragrance Mrs. Dawson couldn’t quite place. “Mum, happy birthday!” Her son hugged her tightly but briefly, as if already in a rush. Gifts landed on the table. Flowers went in a vase. Daisy asked about the Wi-Fi right away. Her son, wrinkling his forehead, dug in his pocket for a scrap of paper with the password, and began reciting a jumble of numbers and letters that made Mrs. Dawson’s head spin. “Granny, how come you’re not in the chat?” Archie called as he shucked off his trainers. “That’s where the action is!” “What chat? I’ve got this phone—more than enough for me,” she said, sliding a slice of pie his way. “Mum,” her daughter-in-law began, exchanging a quick look with her husband, “that’s actually why we… Well, we got you a present.” Her son presented a neat white box, smooth and shiny. Mrs. Dawson’s heart began to flutter. She knew what it was. “A smartphone,” her son announced, like a doctor breaking news. “Nothing fancy, but solid—good camera, proper internet, all the bits.” “Why would I need that?” she replied, forcing her voice to sound steady. “Mum, come on. We can video call now. We’ve got a family chat—photos, news, everything’s online. For booking appointments, checking bills—you said yourself the GP queue was dreadful.” “I’ll manage, somehow…” she began, but saw her son’s contained sigh. “Mum, it’ll put our minds at rest. You can message us straight away, and we can check in anytime. No more hunting for the green button on your old one.” He smiled, trying to soften the blow. Still, her stomach pinched. “Find the green button”—as if she was too muddled for anything. “All right,” she said, eyes on the box. “If you want, I’ll try.” Everyone opened the box together, like a child’s birthday years ago, only now the children were grown, and she sat at the centre, feeling more like a student at an exam than the guest of honour. Out came a slim black rectangle—cold, too smooth. No buttons. “It’s all touchscreen,” Archie explained. “Just tap, like this.” He drew his finger across the screen; icons flashed alive. Mrs. Dawson nearly jolted. This thing, she was sure, would now demand passwords, logins, or something else arcane. “Don’t worry.” Daisy’s voice went soft. “We’ll set it up. Just don’t press anything yourself, not until we show you.” For some reason, that stung the most: “Don’t press anything yourself.” Like she was a child in a china shop. After lunch, the family camped in the lounge. Her son sat beside her, phone on her knees. “Right—look here. This is the power button, you hold it, then swipe the screen to unlock—like this.” He moved so briskly her head spun—button, lock screen, swipe. It sounded like a foreign tongue. “Slow down,” she pleaded. “One thing at a time or I’ll forget.” “You’ll get used to it, promise. It’s easy.” She nodded, knowing it would take time. She needed to accept that nowadays, the world lived in these rectangles—and she would have to squeeze in there somehow. By evening, her contacts were loaded: children, grandkids, neighbour Val Peterson, and the GP. Her son installed a messenger, set up a family group, even changed it to big text so she wouldn’t squint. “See—this is the chat. I’ll type something now.” He tapped a message to himself. Her daughter-in-law’s “Hooray, Mum’s with us!” popped up, then a cluster of colourful emojis from Daisy. “How do I send something?” she whispered. “Press here—keyboard comes up—you type. Or, if you want, there’s voice. Hold the mic icon and just talk.” She tried. Her fingers trembled. ‘Thank you’ turned into ‘thabk you.’ Her son burst out laughing. So did his wife. Daisy giggled and added more smileys. “It’s fine,” her son said, noticing her tension. “Everyone makes mistakes at first.” She nodded, but shame prickled—incredible, to fail at something so simple. When they left, the flat returned to quiet. Only a half-finished pie, flowers, and an empty white box remained. The new phone lay face-down. Hesitantly, Mrs. Dawson picked it up, turned it over. The screen was black. She pressed the side button just as shown. The display glowed gently, showing a festive photo Daisy had set as her wallpaper—last year’s Christmas, all of them together. She saw herself in profile, in a blue dress and raised eyebrow, as if already unsure she belonged in that scene. She swiped the screen as instructed. Icons greeted her: phone, messages, camera, others she didn’t recognise. Her son had warned her: “Don’t press anything you don’t know”—but how could you tell, with so much unfamiliar? In the end, she quietly placed the phone back and went to wash up. It could settle in. It needed to get used to the flat. The next morning she woke early. Her gaze drifted at once to the smartphone. It still looked like a stranger patiently waiting. Yesterday’s fear ebbed slightly. It was, after all, only a thing. Things could be mastered. She’d learned to use a microwave—for all her terror it might explode. She made tea, sat, and drew the phone closer. She switched it on. Her palm felt clammy. The Christmas photo glowed back at her. She swiped. Icons again. She found the green phone—at least that was familiar—and pressed. A list of contacts appeared: her son, daughter-in-law, Daisy, Archie, Val Peterson. She chose her son. Pressed. The phone buzzed, then stripes danced across the screen. She lifted it to her ear as with any phone and waited. “Hello?” Her son’s voice was surprised. “Mum? Everything okay?” “All’s well,” she replied, a strange pride kindling. “Just wanted to check. It worked.” “There you go!” he laughed. “I told you. Well done! But it’s cheaper to call on the messenger now, remember.” “How…?” she faltered. “I’ll show you next time. I’m at work—can’t talk now.” She ended the call, pressing the red phone. Her heart pounded—but she’d done it. On her own. A couple of hours later, a notification pinged. The family chat lit up: “Daisy: Granny, how are you?” A tiny reply box blinked below. She studied it, then gingerly tapped the box. The keyboard appeared. Letters were small but visible. She tapped, one by one: “F” missed, landed “v”. Quickly erased. Tried again. Ten minutes to type: “All good. Having tea.” Missed a letter but left it. Pressed send. A moment later, Daisy replied: “Wow! Did you do that yourself?” Then a heart. She caught herself smiling. She’d written. Her words, sharing space with theirs. That evening, Val Peterson knocked, jam in hand. “Heard you got one of those… what do you call ‘em… clever phones!” Val cackled, slipping off her shoes. “Smartphone,” Mrs. Dawson corrected. It still sounded far too young for her—but she found herself enjoying the word. “And? It hasn’t bitten you yet?” “Just beeps at me—no buttons.” Mrs. Dawson laughed. “World’s upside down.” “My grandson wants me to get one. ‘Everyone’s got to have one, Gran!’ But I tell him, too late for me. Let them play with their internets.” ‘Too late’ hurt. She’d felt the same. But now something in her room seemed to say: Not yet. At least, give it a chance. A few days on, her son called: he’d booked her GP appointment—online. “How?” she asked. “Via the government website—everything’s there now. You could do it too. Your username and password are on a slip in the phone drawer.” She opened it—a neat slip of instructions, cryptic as a doctor’s prescription. Next day, she plucked up her courage. Switched on the phone, found the browser icon her son had shown her in passing. Tapped, typed in the address, cross-checking each letter from the slip. Twice she got it wrong, twice erased, painstaking. At last, the site loaded: blue-and-white stripes, unfamiliar options. “Enter username.” She read, out loud. “Password.” Typing the username was hard enough. The password—a tangle of letters and numbers—was an ordeal. The onscreen keyboard kept switching, then disappeared. At one point, she pressed the wrong button and the field cleared. She muttered, startled by her own annoyance. Finally, she gave up and phoned her son on the landline. “I can’t do it,” she said. “Your passwords are torture.” “Mum, don’t worry,” he assured. “I’ll come over and show you again.” “You’re always coming and showing me, then you leave and I’m alone with it.” A silence stretched. “I know,” he said at last. “But work’s mad. How about I send Archie—he’s better with tech anyway.” She agreed, but felt heavy-hearted. Without them, she was helpless—a burden needing constant explanations. That evening, Archie arrived, kicked off his trainers and joined her on the sofa. “Let’s see, Gran—what’s stumping you?” She showed him. “It’s these words, these buttons. I worry I’ll ruin everything.” “You can’t break anything,” he shrugged. “Worst case, you log out. Then we just log in again.” He explained calmly, fingers dancing over the screen. Where to press, how to switch languages, find GP details. “See—here’s your booking. If you can’t make it, you cancel here.” “What if I cancel by accident?” “Then you just book again. No biggie.” For him: no biggie. For her—a mountain. After he left, she sat with the phone for a long time. This little screen seemed to test her daily: another login, another ‘connection error’. The world once seemed so simple: call, arrange, show up. Now you had to master buttons, passwords, and pop-ups too. A week later, her check-up was nearly due. She woke groggy, her blood pressure swinging. She remembered her appointment was two days later. She decided to check. Switched on, opened the website as Archie had shown. Searched the booking page—her name was missing. Her heart plummeted. She scrolled up, down. Blank. She was sure she hadn’t touched anything. Or had she? Last night, she’d tried to view ‘cancel appointment’ to learn how it worked. Perhaps she’d pressed something by accident. Panic rose. No appointment meant a crowded walk-in queue—claustrophobic, coughing strangers. She felt giddy. She almost called her son. Then remembered: this was his busiest week. She imagined him glaring at his screen, apologising to colleagues: “Sorry, it’s my mum—again with the phone.” Shame prickled. She steadied herself. Sat, breathed. Thought of Archie, but he had classes—and she didn’t want to be rescued again. She eyed the phone. It was both the problem and, possibly, the answer. Carefully, she went back to the site, logged in. Her hands trembled but she tried to be exact. Yes—the appointment slot was empty. This time she clicked ‘Book Appointment’. Picked her GP, selected the nearest date—a day later than planned, but still soon. Pressed ‘Confirm’. The screen ‘thought’ a moment, then: “Successfully booked.” There, in black and white. She read it twice, three times. Relief seeped in. She’d done it—alone. To be sure, she went one step farther. She opened the messenger, found the chat with her GP—her son had set it up—and pressed the microphone: “Hello, this is Hope Dawson. My blood pressure’s not great. I’ve booked to see you in two days, in the morning. If you have time, please let me know.” She released the mic. The message sent; a little ‘tick’ appeared beside it. After a couple minutes, a reply: “GOT IT. SEE YOU THEN. IF YOU FEEL WORSE, CALL STRAIGHT AWAY.” The tension faded. Booking restored, GP notified—and all through that tiny screen. That night, she messaged the family chat: “Booked doctor online—myself.” She’d misspelt a word, but let it go. The meaning was clear. Daisy replied first: “Wow! You’re better than me.” Then her daughter-in-law: “Mum, proud of you.” Last, her son: “Told you! You’d manage.” She read their replies, feeling something quietly expand inside. She wouldn’t join in all their digital chatter or memes, but a fine thread now joined her to them—one she could tug for a reply. At her next appointment, all went smoothly. Afterwards, she decided to try something new. Daisy had mentioned sharing silly food and cat pictures with friends. At first, Mrs. Dawson had scoffed, but underneath, she’d envied their little glimpses into each other’s day—she had only her radio and the window. One bright morning, sunlight glinting on the glass jars of seedlings on the sill, she opened the phone camera. The kitchen appeared on screen, slightly surreal. She angled it at the seedlings. Pressed the button. A gentle click. The photo was a little fuzzy, but charming—green shoots pushing through earth, sunlight striped across the table. She thought the timid little plants looked much like herself with her phone—reaching for the light, feeling the weight of earth. She sent the photo to the family chat. Typed, “My tomatoes are coming along.” Sent it. Replies flooded in. Daisy with a snapshot of her desk, buried in books. Her daughter-in-law—a salad with “Learning from the best.” Her son—a tired but grinning selfie at work: “Mum’s got tomatoes, I’ve got spreadsheets. Who’s winning at life?” She laughed out loud. The kitchen no longer seemed empty; at that little table sat everyone, from all their far-off cities, together now. Of course, it wasn’t always smooth. Once, she accidentally sent a voice note to the group chat, muttering about the news on TV. The grandchildren howled with laughter; her son wrote, “Mum, get your own radio show.” She blushed, then joined in. Why not? At least her voice was heard. Sometimes she mixed up chats; once, she messaged everyone at once to ask how to delete a picture. Archie replied with step-by-step instructions, Daisy admitted, “I don’t know either”, and her daughter-in-law sent a meme: “Mum, you’re our tech star!” She was still often muddled by the buttons, wary of the phone’s constant ‘update your system’ pleas, as if it wanted to change everything she’d finally mastered. But gradually, her fear faded. She realised she could now look up bus times, check the weather, even found an old-fashioned pie recipe—like the ones her mum used to make. When she saw the ingredients list, tears pricked her eyes. She didn’t tell anyone—she simply baked the pie, sent a photo to the chat, added, “Remembered how Gran did it.” Hearts, exclamation marks, and requests for the recipe returned. She took a photo of her handwritten list and sent it off. Gradually, she found herself glancing less at the old landline. It still hung there, but no longer the sole thread to the outside world. She had another now: invisible, but strong. One evening, as dusk settled and windows twinkled across the street, she sat in her armchair, phone in hand, scrolling through the family chat: photos from her son’s work, Daisy’s selfies with friends, Archie’s quick jokes, bits of news from her daughter-in-law. Scattered among these, her tentative but growing contributions: the tomato picture, her pie recipe, a question about prescriptions. She realised she no longer felt like an observer through glass. True, she didn’t grasp half the slang her grandchildren used nor could she conjure up those playful smiley faces. But her messages were read. Her questions answered. Her photos ‘liked’, as Daisy called it. A soft ping broke the quiet—new message. Daisy: “Granny, I’ve got a maths test tomorrow. Can I call after and have a moan?” Mrs. Dawson smiled. Typed slowly, careful with each keystroke: “Call anytime. I’m always here to listen.” She pressed send. Then she set the phone on the table beside her tea. The flat was silent, but no longer empty. Somewhere, beyond walls and streets, calls and messages were waiting for her. She’d never be part of ‘the buzz’, as Archie called it, but she’d found a little corner of connection in this new world of screens. She finished her tea, turned off the kitchen light, and glanced at the phone—calm, unthreatening on the table. She knew, whenever she wished, she could reach out and her loved ones would be there. And for now, that was enough.
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