Lucy, have you lost your marbles at your age? Your grandchildren are already off to school, and you’re planning a wedding?” — These are the words I heard from my sister when I told her I’m getting married.

15April2025

Dear Diary,

I never imagined that, at my age, I would be planning another wedding. When I told my sister, Gertrude, that I was going to marry Tom, she nearly burst out, Milly, youve gone completely bonkers! Your grandchildren are already going to schoolwhat on earth are you thinking?

We are set to sign the civil partnership next week, and Ive been trying to figure out how to break the news to Gertrude. Of course she wont attend the ceremony; she lives all the way down in Cornwall while Im here in the Yorkshire Dales. At sixtysomething we have no intention of throwing a grand party with shouting Bollocks! and the like. Well simply sign the papers and have a quiet tea for two.

Tom, however, insists on a proper ceremony. Hes the sort of gentleman who holds the door open for me, offers his arm when I step out of the car, and even helps pull my coat over my shoulders. He wont live with a commonlaw stamp on his passport. What am I, a schoolboy? he joked, I need a serious relationship. And despite his silver hair, to me he still feels like a youthful lad.

At work Tom is addressed only by his full nameThomas Edwardsby everyone, a sign of the respect he commands. There hes serious and stern, but when he sees me his eyes soften, he pulls me into an embrace and starts twirling me in the middle of the street. I feel flattered, yet a little embarrassed. People will be watching and laughing, I whisper. He smiles and says, What people? I see only you. When were together it truly feels as if the world has narrowed to just the two of us.

I still have a sister to confide in, though. I was terrified that Gertrude, like so many others, would judge me, and I needed her support above all. After gathering my courage, I dialled her.

Milly? she called out, her voice trembling with surprise when she heard I was about to get married. Its only been a year since Victor was buried, and youve already found a replacement!

I hadnt expected my news to shock her, but I hadnt anticipated that my late husband would be the source of her outrage.

Gertrude, I remember, I interjected. But who sets the timeline for moving on? Can you give me a number? How long must I wait before Im allowed to be happy again without facing criticism?

She thought for a moment.

Well, for proprietys sake at least five years would seem decent.

So you want me to tell Tom, Sorry, wait five years, and Ill wear mourning in the meantime?

Gertrude fell silent.

What will that achieve? I pressed on. Do you really think five years will stop people from whispering? There will always be gossipmongers, but honestly I dont care about them. Your opinion matters, thoughif you keep pushing, Ill scrap the wedding altogether.

She sighed. Im not trying to be harsh. Get married today if you must! But I dont understand you, and I cant support it. Youve always been clever, but I never imagined youd survive this long without him. Show a little conscience and wait another year.

I refused to give up.

You say wait a year, but what if Tom and I have only a year left to live? What then?

She sniffed, then shrugged. Do what you think is right. Everyone wants happiness, but youve already lived a long, happy life.

I laughed. Gertrude, seriously? All those years you thought I was happy? I thought so too. Only now do I see that I was merely a workhorse. I never realised there could be another way to live, a life of joy.

Victor was a good man. Together we raised two daughters, and now I have five grandchildren. He always said family was the most important thing, and I never argued. First we toiled for our own familys sake, then for our childrens families, then for the grandchildren. Looking back, it feels like a relentless race for comfort with no lunch break.

When our eldest daughter married, we already owned a cottage, but Victor wanted to expand, to raise livestock for the grandkids. We rented a hectare of land, took on a yoke of cattle that we tended for years. He was up at five in the morning, never sleeping in the north wind. We spent most of our days at the farm, rarely visiting town except for necessities.

Sometimes Id manage to call a friend, only to hear her brag about a seaside holiday with her granddaughter or a night at the theatre with her husband. Me? I never even got to the cinema, let alone the theatre. There were days when we ran out of bread because the cattle kept us chained to the fields. Yet one thing kept us going: the children and grandchildren were always fed. Our older daughter could afford a new car thanks to the farm, the younger one renovated her flatso our hard work wasnt in vain.

A former colleague stopped by one afternoon.

Milly, at first I didnt recognise you. I thought you were out here soaking up fresh air, recharging. You look barely alive! Why are you torturing yourself?

How else? I replied. The kids need help.

The children will manage on their own, you know. You should live for yourself.

I didnt understand what living for yourself meant then. Now I do: I can sleep whenever I like, stroll through shops, watch a film, go swimming, ski if I fancy. No one suffers because of it. The kids are fine, the grandchildren are well fed. Most of all, Ive learned to see everyday things with fresh eyes.

Where I once scoffed at the pile of fallen leaves on the cottage lawn, now they lift my spirits. I toss them with my feet in the park and grin like a child. Ive learned to love the rain, not because I have to herd goats under a thatched roof, but because I can watch it from a cosy café window. Ive started admiring the everchanging clouds, the sunsets, the crisp crunch of fresh snow under my boots. Our little town is beautiful, and its Tom who opened my eyes to it.

Victors sudden heart attack took him before the ambulance could arrive. My children sold the farm and the cottage and drove me back to the city. The first few days I wandered like a lost soul, not knowing what to do. I still rose at five, roamed my flat, wondering where to go.

Then Tom appeared, a neighbour and the soninlaw of a friend, offering to help move the remaining items from the cottage. He confessed hed first seen me as a downtrodden, lonely widow and felt sorry for me. Youre still alive and full of fire; I just need to pull you out of that depression. He took me to a park, bought an icecream, and suggested a walk to the pond to feed the ducks. Id cared for ducks on the farm, but never simply watched them. They were comical, flapping about for bits of bread.

Its unbelievable, isnt it? Just standing and watching them, I said. Back then I never had time to enjoy themonly to feed, clean, and milk.

Tom laughed, took my hand and promised, Wait, Ill show you so many wonders. Youll feel reborn.

And he was right. Like a child discovering the world anew, I began to see life through fresh eyes. I cant pinpoint the exact moment I realised I needed Tomhis voice, his laugh, his gentle touchbut now I cant imagine living without them.

My daughters werent thrilled about my new relationship, accusing me of betraying Victors memory. It hurt, making me feel guilty. Toms own children, however, welcomed me, relieved that their father finally seemed at peace. All that remained was to tell Gertrude, a conversation I kept postponing.

So whens the ceremony? she asked after our long chat.

This Friday.

I can only saymay happiness and love find you in your golden years, she replied, turning away.

By Friday Tom and I bought groceries for two, dressed in our best, hailed a black cab, and headed to the register office. As we stepped out of the cab, I froze. At the entrance stood my daughters with their husbands and grandchildren, Toms children with their families, and, most surprisingly, Gertrude herself, clutching a bouquet of white roses, tears glistening.

Tommy! Did you invite me through her? I whispered, stunned.

I have to see who Im handing you over to, she chuckled.

It turned out they had all coordinated a table at a nearby café for after the ceremony.

A few weeks later we celebrated our first anniversary. Tom is now truly part of our family. I still cant believe how absurdly happy I amso much that I sometimes wonder if Ill ever get over it.

MillyI fell asleep that night with a contented sigh, knowing that love, however unexpected, can blossom at any age.