Marina, Love, I’ve Heard You’re Struggling Financially?

Sarah, love, Ive heard youre struggling a bit with money?

Sarah was slicing smoked salmon and tucking it into pancakes. Her mum stood at the cooker, expertly flipping pancakes on the old cast-iron frying pan honestly, she does it so fast, she could do it with her eyes closed.

Sarah took care of the fillings as usual: she chopped the salmon shed picked up at the local market, grated some cheddar, snipped a bit of parsley, and spooned crème fraîche into a porcelain bowl.

Everyone always comes round to her mums place on the last Sunday in November a tradition, you know, same every year. First, pancake lunch at mums, then the annual big talk about Christmas.

The whole family crammed round the table. Her sister Laura with husband Ian, Uncle David and Aunt Janet, and her two cousins, James and Peter. Pancakes to the ceiling, mugs of hot tea everywhere, conversation buzzing, laughter bubbling up all over the place.

Sarah, could you pass the salmon? Laura called, stretching her arm right across the table.

Of course, here you are.

Laura loaded up her pancake generously. This salmons lovely. Really buttery, so fresh.

I grabbed it at the market. Bit pricey, but its proper nice for pancakes.

Uncle David topped up his tea. Alright then, everyone lets get down to it. Christmas is nearly on us! Where are we all celebrating this year?

Everyone had a bit of a look round at each other. Laura piped up straight away.

Well, where else? At Sarahs, obviously got stacks of room, its only ever worked at hers.

Sarah looked up from her plate at her sister. Is that definitely the plan?

What other options are there? Wed be packed like sardines at mine, and its sort of become the tradition now.

Tradition, Sarah repeated, sort of under her breath.

Aunt Janet put her pancake down and wiped her mouth with a napkin. And you must make your chocolate cake, Sarah. The one you always do thats the best. Last year was delicious, we havent stopped talking about it since.

And this year, grab extra smoked salmon and maybe a couple of tubs of caviar, chimed in Uncle David with a noisy slurp. Last year, we practically inhaled it in half an hour. Grab two, or even three lets do it properly.

Sarah glanced around at the pleased, pancake-smeared faces of her family. That look you get when everyones content. Her gaze slid to her husband sitting at the end, glued to his phone not saying a word, but his shoulders told their own story. Hed heard every word, just like always.

Their son, Oliver, sat bobbing his head along to music through his headphones. At sixteen, he had zero interest in adult chit-chat.

So, Sarah? Laura insisted. Youre alright with hosting?

Alright, Sarah said quietly.

But something clicked inside her. At home, as soon as theyd stepped in, her husband was on her straight away.

Hosting everyone again? For goodness sake, whens it going to stop? Ollie and I have asked you for the past three years.

I dont know, Sarah said, pulling off her coat.

What dyou mean, you dont know? You agreed, didnt you? Same as every time just nodded and thats that.

All I said was okay. Didnt say I was footing the bill this time.

He stopped, staring at her from the hallway.

Whats going on with you?

Youll see. Not sure yet, but Ill think of something.

She headed to the kitchen, stuck the kettle on, pulled out her laptop, and opened up Excel. The spreadsheet popped up, shiny and blank.

Sarah started jotting down everything shed bought last Christmas turkey and beef, salmon, caviar, prawns, calamari, the lot. Clementines, grapes, pineapple. Sweets, biscuits, her homemade chocolate cake. She scribbled all the numbers down, tallied them up. Then there was the drinks, bread, coffee, tea, all those bits that add up.

Then another column for the year before. Same stuff. And the year before that, much the same again. Each time, the total got higher.

Her husband peered over her shoulder. How much was it?

Have a look.

He gave a low whistle. Blimey. Thats more than I thought. Nearly your whole monthly salary.

More than. Nearly a salary and a half and I havent counted table decorations, candles, napkins, crockery Could chuck another £300 on top.

And you shell out that every single year?

Every year. They come, eat, drink, have a laugh and barely say thank you. Just expect it.

What are you going to do about it?

Im going to have a word.

The next week, Sarah rang her sister. Laura, can I talk to you about something?

Whats wrong? You sound weird.

Christmas. Could you pop round so we can chat?

Laura showed up Saturday morning, all tense and pursed lips. Sat down at the kitchen table with a mug of tea in hand.

Come on, then. Out with it.

Sarah slid a printed spreadsheet in front of her. Ive worked out what Christmas is costing us every year. Have a look.

Laura scanned the page. Her face changed. But we didnt say you had to buy turkey and caviar and all that.

You did! Uncle David said last year that chicken was boring, better do something special. So, I did and hes the one who always pushes for more caviar.

Laura sipped her tea, then put her mug down, looking at Sarah with a new expression. So what are you saying?

I cant afford to foot the bill for everyone on my own anymore. We have two options: everyone chips in equally, or each family brings and pays for something themselves. Im fine with cooking, fine with hosting I just wont pay for the lot on my own again.

Laura choked on her tea and Sarah handed her a napkin.

What? Are you serious? Are things tight? Are you, like, broke?

No. Im just fed up of being everyones sponsor for three years running!

But were family, Sarah! Who keeps track of money with family? Its not like were strangers!

I keep track because Im an accountant, if you remember! The numbers arent small.

Is something wrong? Did Dan lose his job? Have you got a mortgage problem?

No, nothing like that. Were both still working. I just want it to be fair.

Laura stood up, paced the kitchen, paused at the sink. This all feels petty, Sarah. Counting every penny between relatives? Were not strangers!

This isnt pennies, Laura, its thousands of pounds. Want to see the full breakdown?

Dont need your breakdown. I get it. You think were sponging off you.

I never said that. I just want us to split the costs. Thats fair.

Its the same thing. Youre accusing us of being tight.

Im not accusing anyone. Lets make it fair or Ill just make Christmas dinner for the three of us.

Laura picked up her bag. Youve changed, you know. Used to be more generous.

I used to be a mug. Now Im just tired.

Next, Sarah called Uncle David and Aunt Janet over for tea. Sat them down, explained everything, waved the spreadsheet about.

Uncle David put up the biggest fuss, hands waving, saying this was ruining the tradition, that young people these days have no heart, back in his day it was never like this.

Sarah, honestly what are you playing at? Ive only got my little pension! How am I meant to pay for fancy food?

My salarys not exactly huge, either, Uncle David! But I manage, because I plan ahead.

Youre insulting us!

Im just saying what I should have said three years ago!

Aunt Janet was the last. Sarah rang her the next day, ready for battle.

Sarah love, I heard youre having money worries?

No worries, Aunt Janet. I just dont want to single-handedly fund Christmas for everyone again.

But were family, love! Surely we dont need to count pennies at home?

As a family, we should be honest and that means splitting costs.

Youre not cross about something, are you?

No, not at all! Just finally realised Ive been paying for what we call a joint Christmas for years but its only joint in name! I cover it all.

Well, is there something we can bring? I could do a salad?

Thats exactly what I want! If everyone brings something, it shares the load. Thats fair.

A week passed, and no one said a word. Sarah quietly started prepping to spend Christmas with her husband and son, working out a menu for three, shopping for just them. Her husband backed her up and Ollie gave her a high-five.

Mum, youre brilliant! About time you said something.

But a week before Christmas, on the evening of December 24th, Laura rang. Her voice sounded tight, but not angry anymore.

Sarah, are you home?

Yeah, Im in.

Mind if I pop by?

Come round.

Half an hour later, Laura plonked herself down at the table. Sarah gave her tea and a plate of biscuits.

Right. Weve all talked we agree.

Agree to what?

Well split the costs. Uncle Davids got drinks, Ill do meats and fish, Aunt Janets got puddings and fruit, you and Mum do mains and sides. Deal?

Deal. Thanks, Laura.

Come New Years Eve, the whole clan started showing up early. Uncle David turned up with a bunch of bags of drinks, wiped his brow, and parked them on the table.

Hope thats enough.

Thats plenty, Uncle. Thank you.

Laura arrived with platters of cold cuts ham, salami, some posh smoked trout also some marinated prawns.

Went all out bought the good stuff.

Looks amazing. Thanks, Laura.

Aunt Janet brought a cake in a fancy box, some fruit and a bag of sweets. Got the cake from the bakery, supposed to be really nice. Fresh fruit, straight from the market.

Sarah set out her roast chicken with crispy skin, potatoes with mushrooms, a veggie stew. They laid everything out together.

It was a bit awkward at first. Lauras lips set in a thin line, Uncle David grumbling into his tea, Aunt Janet fussing with the tablecloth.

But as the day wore on, the tension wore off. Everyone ate, chatted, shared news.

By midnight, things almost felt how they used to be laughing, swapping funny stories, making New Years wishes with a bit of sparkle in their eyes.

Sarah just sat and watched them. Her husband across the table, finally relaxed, chatting with Uncle David about fishing. Ollie was even out of his headphones for once. Even Laura had loosened up, telling a story about a work mishap.

Just after midnight, Uncle David came into the kitchen, found Sarah at the sink, and grabbed a tea towel to help.

You know something, Sarah you were right! Completely right!

What do you mean, Uncle?

Splitting the costs. Never really thought about what you spend but when I was at the shops, I got it.

For the first time in years, Sarah felt relief not the usual knackered, unappreciated feeling when everyone leaves and you just want to hide for three days. She was close to happy.

Shed said what she needed to say. Shed set things straight, and the family hadnt stormed off or fallen out, but had actually accepted it.

Her husband gave her a cuddle when everyone was off in different rooms. Im proud of you, love. Really proud.

Why?

Because you finally said no. Thats the hardest bit telling family. But you did it, and you made it fair for everyone.

I was scared, you know. That theyd all take offence, that no one would come, that Christmas would be ruined.

But it wasnt it was great! Just, now its fair and everyone contributed.

Sarah smiled. Exactly that. Now it really felt like a family celebration not just her hosting marathon.

The tradition isnt gone, she thought. Its just changed its fairer, more honest. Thats my big win this year!

Dont bottle things up, dont just put up with whats unfair. Say it out loud, and work out a solution together. Thats what Ive learned and its what I wish for you too

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