З життя
Meeting My Husband’s Parents in the English Countryside: Tales of Bread, Family, and Unexpected Surprises in Mum’s Cosy Cottage
Many years ago, my husband and I traveled to the countryside, to be introduced to his family for the first time.
His mother, Mrs. Dorothy Green, came bustling out to the porch, hands on her hips, looking for all the world like the matron of a grand tea party set over her samovar. Oh, Harry! Why on earth didnt you say you were bringing someone home? And I see you havent come alone! she exclaimed, half-scolding, half-delighted.
Harry scooped me up in a wide embrace, squeezing me close. Mum, let me present my wife, Evelyn.
Mrs. Green, a mountainous figure with her frilly apron tied round her waist and her arms stretched wide, bore down on me. Well, hello there, my dear daughter-in-law! she cried, and promptly kissed me three times on the cheek, as was the local custom. The rich scents of garlic and freshly-baked bread wafted from her as she seized me in such an enthusiastic hug I nearly lost my breath.
My head ended up right between those formidable cushions of hers. Then, after pulling back to examine me head-to-toe with a keen eye, she called out to her son, Harry, where on earth did you find such a slip of a thing?
Harry let out a chuckle. Where else but in town at the library! Is Dad about?
Hes across the way, sorting out Mrs. Jenkinss stove. But never mind that. Come along inside, shoes off please I only scrubbed the floor this morning.
Round-eyed village children gaped at us from the yard.
Charlie, pop round to Mrs. Perkins and let Mr. Green know his sons home and brought his bride! Mrs. Green called out to a lad. Right you are! piped Charlie, then tore off down the lane.
Inside the cottage, Harry helped me out of my new but discounted spring coat, hanging it by the fire. He clasped my cold red hands to the warm oven and pressed his cheek to mine. My comfort and warmth! Still nicely warm
Suddenly, copper pots and old cast-iron pans clattered, clay jugs thudded upon the table, sturdy glasses and mismatched spoons jingled all as his mother laid out the spread.
Whilst she bustled and organized, I took in the room with wide eyes. Family portraits adorned the front corner, frilly floral curtains billowed at the windows, patchwork rugs lay scattered on the floor and stools. Beside the old range, a ginger cat was curled asleep, head turned away.
We signed the register last week, Harrys voice floated to me as if from far away.
I marvelled at how swiftly the table was laden with food. In the centre gleamed a perfect pork pie; alongside were home-pickled cabbage and tomatoes, rich baked custard fresh from the oven under a golden caramel layer, a hearty pasty filled with eggs and scallions My goodness, Id never felt so ravenous!
Mum, thats plenty! This could last a week, Harry said with a sheepish grin, biting greedily into a crust of house-baked bread.
Content, Mrs. Green thumped a frosted glass jug of ginger beer beside the pork pie and wiped her hands on her apron. Now then, all set!
So, this is how I met Harrys mother. Mother and son were like peas in a pod both dark-haired and rosy-cheeked, though Harry was quiet and mild, whereas his mother roared about like a summer storm: sudden and loud. I daresay shed kept many unruly horses in line and put out more than one burning hayrick in her day.
At that moment, the back door swung with a bang. In stepped a smallish, wiry man, trailing in puffs of chilly air Mr. George Green, Harrys father.
Well, bless my soul! he cried, clapping his hands in delight. Without removing his smoke-stained, soot-marked jacket, he gave Harry a rough hug. Evening, Dad!
Wash your hands first, then you can hug, Mrs. Green barked.
Mr. Green took my hand in his large calloused paw. How do you do, miss? His clever blue eyes twinkled under wiry ginger brows; a scant, copper-red beard clung to his chin, matching the unruly curls atop his head.
Dorothy, fetch me some broth, wont you? he said as he clattered the kettle.
Glasses were raised. To you, dear ones! we toasted.
After hearty food and drink, I dared to break the silence. Mr. Green, how is it all the men in your family are named after you?
He laughed. Nothing mysterious, Evelyn! My granddad was George, his father was George, and Im George myself were brick oven makers and fixers, born and bred. Only Harry here, he tipped his head toward his son, strayed off to become a turner.
Turners are needed, too, Dad! Harry protested.
But is it hard to build a proper oven? I asked.
Oh, my girl, its a craft like no other! He wagged a finger skyward. It must be handsome, hold the heat, not smoke up the place, and bake the finest pies. Dont let this lean frame fool you us redheads are tough as old boots, blessed by the sun! He winked as Mrs. Green called out, George is handy with anything!
Tell us a story, Dad, while we eat, Harry suggested.
With a deep sigh and a twinkle, Mr. Green stroked his whiskers and began. Well, then, gather round! Story the first
It must be twenty years back, come haymaking time. We had Dolly then, didnt we, dear? Not a cow, I tell you, but a walking milk churn. He chuckled as Dorothy nodded. Off to the fields we all went; men, women, even Dorothy and me. Before the sun touched the hedge, we mowed away: swish-swish, swish-swish! Mercy, the heat that day was fierce; horseflies bit fit to raise the dead! That year, the wood teemed with wild boars thick as blackberries in September!
He paused. By noon we were sweating buckets, weary to our bones I saw everyone flagging, and, in a moment of madness perhaps sunstroke! I thought Id play a joke. Suddenly, I flung down my scythe, ran and shouted, Run for your lives! Wild boar!
And up the nearest tree I shinned, quick as anything. I caught sight of half the company scrambling after me abandoned forks and all!
Harry burst out laughing. And what happened next?
I tell you, I was near thrashed with their rakes, Mr. Green replied, eyes twinkling. But after that, the work went a good deal faster!
Mrs. Green huffed and gave her husband a slap across the back. You red-haired scamp!
Dad, tell a story about a real boar, Harry encouraged.
As you wish. This was years ago, before Harry was even a thought in our minds. Back then, I was mad keen on hunting but after this tale, I never fancied it again. One wintry day, I told Dorothy, Off hunting, love. She said, Off you go. Off I went, tramped the woods for hours nothing doing. Dusk came, I headed home… but then, just beyond the spinney, I heard them wild boars, close as you like. I crept up, fired missed! In a flash, a huge beast charged at me. I bolted and shinned up a tree, faster than youd believe.
And I expect you were scared out your wits! Mrs. Green interjected.
Dont interrupt! Up I went, heart thumping fit to burst. I prayed the boars would move on, but no such luck: the old boar started rooting round the tree, then settled right underneath, with its herd. There I perched well past midnight, clinging for dear life. Lucky the frost wasnt hard, or Id have frozen solid.
I hunted all over for Harry that night, with half the village! Mrs. Green put in. Daybreak came, I rounded up the menfolk and off we went. Called and called before we found him, and I had to half-carry him home!
Youre a marvel, love strongest woman I know!
Oh, hush! she scoffed. Evelyn, would you care for a cup of tea? Ive made a pot with meadow-sweet and St Johns wort, and theres homey honey to go with it.
Yes, please, Id love some.
Dorothy poured out mugs of fragrant tea.
Dad, tell about how you cured Aunt Beatrice, Harry urged.
Mr. Green nearly choked, then roared with laughter. Ah, yes, Beatrice! Sent a telegram once: Arriving Saturday, prepare to be invaded! We met her at the station, all smiles but over lunch she complained her legs wouldnt carry her, ached terribly.
Have you tried bees? we asked. No bees in London! she said.
Well, come along to the hive Ill fix you up, I said.
Doctor Dolittle in action! Dorothy giggled.
So off we went. I told her, Skirt up a bit not too much just above the knee. I put one bee on each leg.
She thanked me at first, but half an hour later, the language she used! Turns out she was allergic her legs swelled up like sausages, fit to burst!
Told you Doctor Dolittle, indeed
How was I to know about allergies? Come, Evelyn, have some honey. No allergies, I hope?
None at all, Mr. Green.
Well, thank the Lord
We finished our tea. Darkness fell outside, tiredness washed over me.
Mrs. Green pulled the curtains tight. Harry, where shall I make up a bed for you?
Mum, could we sleep on the hearth? What do you say, Evelyn would you share the old oven?
Oh, more than happy to! I beamed.
Then its settled! Your father built it with his own hands, Mrs. Green said with pride.
Mr. Green looked on with satisfaction. And rightly so the old oven was the heart of the home: warming, feeding, gathering family together around its living flame.
We thanked our hosts, rose from the table, and Harry boosted me gently up to the ovens top. From the darkened rafters came enveloping scents: seasoned brick, dried herbs, fleecy wool, warm bread.
Harry fell asleep quickly, but sleep evaded me. What was that strange breathing, slow and deep: Puff-puff, puff-puff?
A house sprite, surely! I remembered a childhood rhyme: Spirit of the house, let us be, leave us in peace!
Only in the morning did I learn the truth it wasnt a sprite at all, but the sourdough Mrs. Green had left to rise overnight in the warmth and forgotten all about.
Many times after, we visited the hospitable Green house again to hear more of Mr. Greens tales, warm ourselves by the hearth, and share in the comfort of homemade bread.
But those are all stories for another day.
