My Daughter-in-Law Won’t Let Me See My Grandchild Unless I Bring Money, and My Son Doesn’t Say a Word

My son isnt divorced. He lives with his girlfriend, but he has no say in anything. Every time I try to visit, my daughter-in-law insists I promise how much money Ill bring, or she wont let me see my grandson.

They tied the knot two years ago. I didnt take to her from the start. There was something greedy in her eyes, something grabby in her manner. The ink had barely dried on the marriage certificate before she started insisting my three-bedroom flat was too much for me and that I should give up half for them to use, going on and on about how a proper man should own his own place.

We argued about it, of course. Firstly, I’ve got a daughter as well, and secondly, why on earth should I downsize my home just for my daughter-in-laws sake? The children have been well educated and given a good start in life. The rest, I say, they should manage with their own wits, because nothing simply landed in my lap when I was their ageneither for me nor my late husband.

My daughters unmarried still, working, and has a mortgage. For a time, she lived with me so she could let out her own flat and pay it off, but now shes moved on. My son, on the other hand, is hopeless. Hes got no ambitions for himself and just hangs on his wifes every word. He doesnt fancy living with me, she wouldnt stand for it, and apparently, its beneath them to rent.

Truth be told, I wouldnt have loved the idea of sharing a flat with her either, but I would have allowed it just so they might save up for their own deposit. As for selling up or gifting away my flatabsolutely not. When Im gone, the kids will inherit half each. Theyll have to sort the rest themselves.

I told my daughter-in-law this, plain as day, with no attempt to sugarcoat it. Whats there to be embarrassed about, after all? She turns to me with, Isnt it a bit rich for you to live alone in a three-bedroom place? Charming, isnt it? I told my son to have a word with his wife, but he just mumbled and stared at his shoes.

Sometimes I wonder who my son takes after. His father was strong, my sisters strict, and Im hardly a pushoverbut my sons as soft as anything. I can only assume my daughter-in-law was desperate to get hitched and just took him as he was.

Since that argument over the flat, my daughter-in-law and I barely speak. My son rings now and then but never pops by, likely because his wife has forbidden it. I only found out they were expecting because my son told me over the phone. It was moving, as it was my first grandchild. Attempting to reconcile, I bought a present, a cake, and paid them a visit. But then my daughter-in-law made a comment about her child being born in someone elses home, as if he were a stray. Once again, she brought up the flat.

That attempt at making up was a failure. I didnt argue with hershe was pregnant, after allbut I left. Honestly, if someones daft, theres no changing them. I didnt see her again until she gave birth. In fairness, I wasnt up to visiting anyway; my health was on the rocks and I was constantly at the doctors. They didnt even call to say the baby had been bornI only found out a week later, when my son eventually phoned.

He invited me to visit and told me what theyd like as a gift. My daughter-in-law piped up straight away, saying not to bother with trinketsjust bring cash. I didnt argue; fair enough, parents know best. I dipped into my savings. After all, you dont get a new grandchild every day. I arrived as arranged.

My daughter-in-law took one look at the envelope at the door and pulled a face. Apparently, ten thousand pounds doesnt mean anything to her. She didnt say anything, but her glare said more than words. I saw my grandson; a real stunner, the spitting image of his dad. I didnt linger and soon went home. They never asked me to visit again. I kept my distancehaving a new baby, theyd need space. But after three months with no word, I rang my son and asked if I could visit.

I bought something for my grandson and a cake for tea, then set off. My daughter-in-law opened the door. She took my gifts and glared at me.

Frankly, she began, I thought wed settled this last time. We dont want your bits and piecesjust money for the baby.

So, what thenI have to bring an envelope every time I want to see my grandson?

What do you think? Because of you, were paying rent, and my husband is the only one earning. Youve done nothing for your grandson, so the least you can do is help out.

I felt fury tightening my throat. My son just stood there with the baby, saying nothing, blinking helplessly.

I turned and left. I wont let myself be humiliated by someone so shameless. I refuse to pay for the privilege of seeing my own grandson.

Its nearly a year now since we last spoke. They dont call, and neither do I. But then last week my son actually phoned, reminding me it was my grandsons birthday and I could come byif I didnt forget the gift. My daughter-in-law grabbed the phone and loudly declared exactly how much cash I was expected to bring. The sum was more than my monthly salary.

I didnt go. I simply couldnt afford it. Ive now had to accept that I dont have a grandson or a sonnot really. If he truly were my son, he wouldnt let his wife blackmail me over my own grandson. Let them stew in their own mess. I won’t pay to see my grandson.

Ill be giving serious thought about what to do with my flat, making sure that, even after Im gone, neither my soft-hearted son nor his grasping wife get their hands on a single corner of it.