З життя
My Husband Invited His Ex-Wife Over for the Sake of the Children—So I Checked Into a Hotel to Celebrate on My Own
My husband invited his ex-wife over for the boys, so I spent the holiday in a hotel
Where are you putting that vase? I told you to put it away in the cupboard, not parade it out hereit’s all wrong for the dinnerware, I said, struggling to sound calm while my insides were boiling like a pot on the stove. I fussed with my apron and glared at Andrew, who looked lost, clutching the cut glass salad bowl and shifting it from spot to spot on the table.
Does it matter, Jane? Andrew tried a sheepish smile, and it irritated me more than ever tonight. Laura always liked that vase. She used to say the potato salad looked festive in it. I just want it to feel comfortable for everyone if were all coming together for the twins.
I froze with the knife poised above half a cucumber. I took a slow breath and counted to three, refusing to snap.
Andrew, I need to clarify something. Were hosting guests in my house. I, your legitimate wife, have spent two days preparing the foodmarinating the beef, baking the sponge, scrubbing the floors. And you think we should put this gaudy vase on the table because your ex-wife liked it? Is that really your logic?
Andrew slumped onto the chair, looking as though he’d inherited all the world’s problems.
Jane, dont start, please. We agreed. Its the twins twentiethits a big deal! They wanted both parents here. What was I supposed to do? Tell Laura not to come? Shes their mother. Its just for one eveningcake, celebrations, and thats it. I just want peace, no drama. Youre the sensible one here.
Sensible woman. That phrase drove me up the wall. It meant accommodating womanthe type who bites her tongue and suffers, pretending everythings fine while everyone walks all over her.
Weve been together five years. I accepted Andrew, his past, the child support, the endless drives to visit the twins, Tom and Peter, when they were moody teenagers. I never blocked their relationship; the boys came over frequently, and we got on well enough. But Laura Laura was a chapter all her ownloud, domineering, convinced Andrew was still hers, merely lent to another woman for convenience.
I dont mind the boys, Andrew. I even made my peace with you inviting Laurathough most people book a table at a restaurant for events like this, not drag ex-wives into their current wife’s house. Why do I have to set the table to suit her tastes? Am I meant to change into her favourite dress, or do my hair the way she likes, too?
Thats a bit much, he brushed aside, standing. Fine, Ill move the vase. Just dont sulk. The boys will be here in an hour, Laura’s with themher cars in the garage so theyre giving her a lift. Lets enjoy ourselves, alright? For the celebration.
He pecked me on the cheekquick, perfunctoryand retreated to shave. I stood alone in the kitchen, surrounded by bowls, pans, shopping bags. The roast was browning in the oven, mushrooms simmering gently on the hob. It all smelled divinebut my appetite had vanished. I felt like I was preparing a wake for my self-respect.
An hour later, the hallway erupted with noiselaughter, heavy steps, voices echoing.
Wheres Dad, then? Lauras voice was impossible to mistakehigh, brash, filling the space. Andy! Were here!
Off came the apron; I fixed my hair in the hall mirror and went to greet them.
The hallway was cramped. Tom and Petertall as lamp posts nowstruggled out of their coats. Laura stood between them like a queen with her court, dressed in a vivid red outfit that clung in all the wrong places, and with enough hairspray to glue down the doors.
Oh, Jane, hello, she tossed out carelessly, not even looking at me, busy scanning for Andrew. Weve brought presents! Andy, come help Mum with her bagstheres pickled onions in there!
Andrew appeared, beaming and bustling.
Hey lads, happy birthday! He hugged them, thumped their backs. Hi Laura. Whats with the pickles? The tables packed.
Oh, I know your cooking, Laura rolled her eyes dramatically, finally deigning to glance at me. Jane probably did everything fat-free and bland again? Boys need proper food. I brought my gherkins, mushrooms, proper jellied meat. Not that chicken jelly you made last time.
My cheeks burned. Last time, six months ago, Laura criticised everything when she stopped by to collect the boys.
Hello Laura, I managed, crisp but polite. Come through. Theres plenty of food. The jellied beef is crystal clear today.
Well, well see, she sniffed and swept into the lounge as if she owned it. Oh, you never swapped out that sofa? Andy, Ive been telling you for a year, that colours all wrong. Dull curtains too its bleak here. Remember how bright our old flat was, with the lace?
Andrew scurried after her, arms full.
Laura, we like it. Its cosy.
Cosys when your spirit sings, this feels like a crypt, she declared, sinking into the wrong sofa. Boys, go wash your hands! Jane, dont just stand theretables not going to lay itself.
My fists clenched, nails biting my palms. Steady, I told myself. Just for Andrew. Just dont ruin the boys night.
I retreated to the kitchen, refusing Andrews whispered offers to help.
The meal started badly. Laura seated herself on Andrews right, shifting her chair so close their arms nearly overlapped. The twins took the seats opposite. I was placed at the edge, practically at the doormore waitress than wife.
To my boys! Andrew toasted, raising his glass. Twenty yearsgone in a blink!
Oh, Andy, Laura jumped in, cutting him off. Remember driving me to the hospital? Icy roads, old Ford wouldnt start, you running round in your shirt, panicked! Then shouting under the window, Whos arrived?! Such a laugh!
She laughed boisterously, hand planted on Andrews shoulder. He smiled, lost in memory.
Those were days young and daft.
And when Pete fell in the puddle wearing his new suit? Heading to Mums birthday. You scooped him up, wailing, caked in mud. Bathed him in the fountain!
Story led to storyLaura monopolising conversation, dragging everyone back to when *they* were a family. Remember our Cornwall holiday? Remember us wallpapering the lounge? Remember your broken leg, and me feeding you soup?
I picked distractedly at my salad, feeling like a misplaced propa spare part. The twins scrolled on their phones, barely involved. Andrew, a little drunk and nostalgic, joined in, forgetting I even existed.
Pass the bread, Jane, Laura ordered, still laughing about Andrew teaching her to drive. Him shrieking Brake! and me stamping the acceleratorwe nearly ran through the hedge! Andy, you went grey right then!
She was always a speed demon, Andrew chuckled.
You were always That sentence hit like a dart. I looked at him. He hadnt noticed. He was gazing at Laura with puppyish fondnessthe woman who reminded him of his youth when life was simpler.
The salads over-salted, Laura announced suddenly, chewing on spud salad. Jane, are you in love or something? ‘In love’ is when you over-salt. But in love with your husband? Ha-ha! Andy, here, try my jellied meatits got real flavour this time.
She reached across to dump her jelly right onto Andrews dish, covering my mushroom bake.
Laura, take your hand off my husbands plateand take your cold meat with you, I said, quiet but firm. Theres plenty of food here already.
The room went still. The twins looked up. Andrew blinked, baffled.
Jane, what the its just one taste, he muttered.
Just one taste, is it? I stood slowlymy chair scraped the floor like a warning. So you enjoy Lauras food? Like reminiscing about your old life? Enjoy another woman ruling your house, criticising the sofa, the food, your wife?
Oh, dont be so sensitive, Laura snorted. Just trying to help.
I dont need your advice, I growled, looking her in the eyes. And I dont need your company. Ive tolerated this for Andrew, for the boys. But youre all fine without me. Crack onmemories, jokes, your old Ford, your holidays. Im just your help, expected to serve and disappear.
Jane, stopAndrew reached for my hand. I snatched it away.
You two can keep reminiscingdont let me interrupt.
I strode from the room. Behind me, I heard Laura mockWhat a drama queen. I told you, Andy, shes not right for you. Too high an opinion of herself.
In the bedroom, my hands trembling but mind clear, I packed a small overnight bag. Makeup, clean pyjamas, my tablet, jeans and a jumperoff came the festive dress that made me feel like a clown at someone elses celebration.
Ordered a cab via my mobileseven minutes out.
I went to the hall, threw on my coat. Laughter drifted from the loungeLaura with a story, Andrew snorting. None of them followed. Theyd assumed Id sulk, then come back.
I popped my head in the doorway.
Im leaving, I said clearly.
They stopped. Andrew stood with a glass in hand.
Where? To the shop? We forgot bread?
No, Andrew. Im off to a hotel. Tonight is my holiday toothe day Im free of rudeness and disrespect. Have fun with your old guard, celebrate away. Fridge is full, cakes on the balcony. Dishwashers ready; tablets under the sink. I hope Lauras as good at cleaning as she is at ordering people about.
Have you lost your mind? Andrew sprang up, spilling spiritsvodka blotched the tablecloth. What hotel? Its night! The guests are here!
Your guests, Andrew. Not mine. Enjoy. Happy birthday, boys.
I shut the door behind me, smoothing out Andrews protests and Lauras indignation.
In the cab, I just watched city lights flicker by. Then I called the citys finest spa hotel.
Evening, do you have a deluxe or junior suite open? Perfect. Ill be around in twenty. And would you please arrange a bottle of champagne and a fruit platter in my room? Book me a massage for tomorrow morning, the earliest slot.
Hotelso clean, perfumed, silent. No fried onions, no cutlery clatter, no strangers voices. My room was cool, the white linen crisp as snow.
A long shower washed away every sticky memory of the evening. Wrapped myself in a soft robe, poured cold fizz, and stood on the balcony, the city twinkling indifferently below.
My phone thrummed even in the cab. Now, silent mode. Fifteen missed from Andrew, three messages.
What have you done?
Come back this minute, Im embarrassed!
Jane, this is ridiculousLauras in shock.
I gave a dry laugh and turned my phone off. Took a sip. For the first time in ages, I felt completely free. No worrying over roast beef, noisy telly, or Andrews moods. It was just meand it was bliss.
The sun woke me. I stretched, ordered breakfast to the roomeggs Benedict, croissants, coffee. Had a massage, a swim. I extended the suite for a second dayI didnt want to go home.
I switched my phone on late the next evening. Loads more messages, the tone changed.
Jane, where are you? Im worried.
The boys left straight after you. Said we made fools of ourselves.
Laura went home last night. We argued.
Please, answer me.
I phoned Andrew.
Jane! Thank God, where are you? Are you alright? His voice cracked.
Im at the hotel, Andrew. Having some peace.
Im so sorryI was an idiot. I ruined it all.
Go on, I said, cool. How did your family reunion go?
It was dire. As soon as you left, Pete said, What a shambles! Mum’s a bully, Dads a doormat. Janes decentyou forced her out. And he and Tom left. Didnt touch the cake.
A prickle of satisfaction. The twins had more sense than their parents.
Then what?
Laura started shoutingcalled me a rotten father, blamed you for turning the boys against her. Demanded I tidy the table. I asked her to help if she was so keen. She screamed, broke a plateyour mums old set.
Laura smashed my mums plate? I asked, voice icy.
Yes flailing around. I lost it, Jane. Told her to get a cab and go. We had a massive rowshe dredged up my old salary, my mum, that I ruined her life. I chucked her out.
Andrew went quiet, breathing ragged.
Im here alone now. Dirty dishes everywhere. I couldn’t face tidying. Please, come home? I realise how foolish Ive been. Never againno more exes under our roof. I promise.
Have you cleaned up? I asked.
No. Everythings as you left it.
Good. Youve got till lunchtime tomorrow. The place had better shineno sign, no smell of Laura. Not a single jar of her pickles or a whiff of her perfume. Chuck it all out. If I come home and find so much as a crumb, Ill pack for good. Clear?
Clear, Jane. Ill scrub everything. Please come home. I love you. I just wanted to keep everyone happy
Keeping everyone happy works when you use your head, not try to please everyoneespecially at my expense, I replied sharply. Ill be home after lunch. And Andrewif you ever let someone criticise me in my own house again, I wont go to a hotel. Ill go for good.
I hung up. Out the hotel window, the citys evening glow began. I finished my cooling coffee. I pitied Andrewweak, muddled in the idea of being a good father. But I pitied myself more, for letting this happen for years.
I wont tolerate it anymore. That short escape unlocked something in my mindI finally realised I have every right to be in charge. Not accommodating, not sensible. Just in charge. Of my life.
When I walked through our door the next day, the place smelled of lemon cleaner. The windows were open wide, airing out yesterdays mess. Andrew, sleepless and red-eyed, stood before me like a whipped spaniel.
I tidied everythingeven washed the curtains, I thought they smelled of hairspray.
The kitchen gleamed. No jars, no stray vase.
And the vase? I asked.
Binned, he replied. And the jellied meat. Never want to see it again.
I appraised him, took off my coat.
Fine, put the kettle on. Lets finish my cake. Unless your fit of cleaning swept that away too.
Relief flooded his face as he hugged me, face buried in my shoulder.
I kept the cake. Had a slice myself, after midnight. Jane, youre the best. Im sorry.
Forgiven. But this was the last time, Andrew. The last.
Tea and cake at the kitchen table, quiet. I looked at him and knewsometimes, to save a family, you have to step away. Even if only for a couple days. Sometimes the empty seat speaks louder than hundreds of words.
