З життя
Ми з дружиною побували у всіх лікарів, навіть звернулися до віщунів та цілителів.
Ми з дружиною вже обійшли всіх лікарів, навіть були у ворожок та цілителів. Ходили до церкви і молилися. Врешті-решт, у нас опустилися руки…
Моя дружина пішла від мене. Тепер моє життя майже нестерпне, я залишився сам зі своїми думками. Тільки робота рятує мене. Часом, щоб заглушити свій біль, я вдаюся до алкоголю. Я не погана людина, мені 28 років, не курю, рідко п’ю, але останнім часом тішу себе тільки цим.
Я навчався на юридичному факультеті. Завдяки допомозі батьків ми з дружиною оселилися у двокімнатній квартирі. Ми обидва мали досить престижні посади та добре заробляли. Наше життя складалося добре. Ми з дружиною прекрасно порозумівалися, нам нічого не бракувало.
Моя дружина – неймовірна жінка. Вродлива, скромна, привітна. У домі завжди чисто і панує порядок. Після роботи я із задоволенням повертався додому, де на мене чекала дружина з смачним обідом.
Багато хто з вас скаже: “Чого тобі ще треба? Багато хто мріє про таке життя! Живи і не скаржся”.
Я більше не хочу радіти життю. Я страждаю від безпліддя. У ранньому дитинстві я переніс хворобу, відому як свинка. Пам’ятаю лише, що довго лежав у лікарні і не ходив до школи. І тепер, через 20 років, хвороба проявила свої наслідки.
Ми з дружиною вже обійшли всіх лікарів, навіть були у ворожок і цілителів. Ходили до церкви і молилися. Врешті-решт, у нас опустилися руки… Виявилося, що ми нічого не можемо зробити, адже у моєму випадку ця хвороба невиліковна.
Дружина почала мене уникати, ми більше не проводили разом вечори. Щоразу сиділи в різних кімнатах: вона читала книжки, я дивився телевізор. Коли вона поставила мене перед фактом, що її подруга знайшла для неї хорошу роботу в Києві, і вона, будучи ще молодою, хоче розпочати нове життя.
Наступного дня вона зібралася і поїхала. Я дізнався про свою хворобу лише через два роки після весілля. Не знав, що це може мати такі наслідки.
Тепер я згадую сумні очі моєї матері, коли ми одружувалися, і її слова: “О, діти, що ж я роблю!”
Тоді я не звертав на них уваги, а тепер розумію страшне значення цих слів. Я прекрасно усвідомлюю, що життя не закінчується. Десь у нашому гарному місті є самотня жінка з дитиною на руках, для якої я міг би бути чудовим батьком.
Проте я не хочу насильно шукати жінку. Хочу спочатку зцілити серце і поховати смуток після шлюбу, в якому ми прожили 5 щасливих років. Я прекрасно розумію мою дружину, яка прагне мати дітей, а я не можу їй цього дати. Дозволити їй зрадити? Усиновити дитину? Вона хоче бути матір’ю своєї дитини.
А якби я знав про свої проблеми ще до шлюбу? Як тоді склалося б наше життя? Чи хотіла б вона залишитися зі мною, чи одразу пішла б?
Чому мама так довго приховувала від мене мою хворобу? Якби я знав, усе могло бути інакше. З одного боку, я розумію свою маму – вона хотіла, щоб я був щасливий. З іншого боку, чи можна бути щасливим за таку ціну? У кожного з нас своя правда. Можливо, це просто для мене певна спроба. Я б’юся зі своїми думками. А вдома досі тихо і сумно.
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