З життя
Одного разу бабусю запаморочило, і лікар швидкої вирішив без зволікань відвезти її до лікарні.
На один раз у моєї бабусі запаморочилася голова, і лікар, що приїхав на “Швидкій допомозі”, вирішив не ризикувати та відвіз стареньку до лікарні. Там їй детально пояснили, що в такому віці весело стрибати по театрах з друзями-подругами вже просто непристойно. Смерть не за горами, і зустріти її слід, як годиться – у своєму ліжку, а не на грі у покер у подруги.
Помирання бабуся вирішила організувати вдумливо і зі смаком. Спершу вона накупила гору ліків та наповнила ними свій тумбочний стіл. У повітрі одразу з’явився стійкий запах корвалолу.
По-друге, вона піднапрягла всіх нас, щоб ми, жертвуючи своїм часом і нервами, допомагали їй у цьому урочистому процесі. Вона капризувала, вимагала нових ліків, викликів то лікаря, то нотаріуса. Мама збилася з ніг, намагаючись задовольнити всі її примхи та хоч якось довести, що часу вмирати ще таки зарано. У відповідь бабуся закочувала очі та просила накапати їй ще трохи корвалолу.
Але одного дня до бабусі в кімнаті з’явилася її давня приятелька Неля. Слава богу, я була в той час у неї вдома і мала щастя спостерігати це все на власні очі.
— Кажуть, ти нарешті вирішила вмерти, — спитала вона густим басом, — похвально. Треба ж комусь із нас зробити перший крок на той світ, щоб усе там розвідати. Тільки скажи мені прямо – невже ти збираєшся лежати в труні у такому жахливому вигляді?
Бабуся пробурмотіла у відповідь, що їй байдуже, в якому вигляді вона буде в труні.
— Тобі, може, і байдуже, — відповіла Неля, — а мені на цей жах доведеться дивитися! Ба більше, мені доведеться це цілувати! Що скажуть люди?! Вони подумають, що прийшли на гідні похорони, а їх так підло обдурили. Я просто не зможу глянути їм у вічі!
— До чого тут люди? — вигукнула бабуся.
— Бо вони прийдуть, думаючи, що хоронять Нелину подругу, а Неля з ким попало не спілкується. Але коли вони побачать тебе, вважатимуть, що їх підсунули якийсь інший труп і образяться! До речі, навіщо тобі стільки ліків? Ти що, труїш себе цією гидотою?
— Я намагаюся полегшити собі страждання, — заперечувала бабуся.
— Ти намагаєшся зіпсувати собі печінку – а від хворої печінки обличчя має неприємний колір. Ти що, хочеш, щоб, побачивши тебе в труні, люди в жаху втекли?
Бабуся подумала і погодилася, що в труні краще лежати з гарним кольором обличчя. Подруга її підтримала та запропонувала піти на вулицю, щоб нагуляти здоровий рум’янець, який буде ефектно виглядати на смертному ложі.
З відкритим ротом я спостерігала, як моя бабуся, яка тільки що помирала, сповзла з ліжка і попрямувала в душ, від якого відмовлялася останні три тижні. А Неля, презирливо стиснувши губи, наказала мені зібрати всю постіль з ліжка, щоб відправити її на прання… А їм самим з бабусею приготувати дві чашки міцної кави, в які накапати чогось коньячного і підбадьорюючого, грамів так п’ятдесят. Оскільки коньяк добре впливає на тонус і нерви. А в тому преславутому гробу, як ви вже зрозуміли, краще лежати зі здоровими нервами і міцним серцем…
Найкраща подруга настільки перейнялася бабусиними майбутніми похоронами, що кілька тижнів ретельно її готувала до них. За цей час вони відвідали перукарню, масажиста і салон краси. Ходили по магазинах та розпродажах, купили купу всіляких милих речей, які безсумнівно знадобляться на тому світі: таких, як капелюшок з вуаллю, рукавички, косметика.
Тож за власні похорони бабуся вже не переживає, адже знає, що все пройде на найвищому рівні. А щоб скрасити час, вона знову поновила свої походи до подруг, партії у покер і веселі пікніки. Каже, що якщо смерті так уже потрібно, то нехай сама її шукає… Хоча, смерть поки не поспішає її зустрічати – здається, у бабусі ще недостатньо гарний для цього колір обличчя.
“I Gave Birth to Your Son, But We Don’t Want Anything from You” – The Mistress Called Lera’s husband looked at her like a chastened dog. “That’s right, you didn’t mishear me, Lera. I… I had someone else, half a year ago. Just a few times—nothing serious, just a fling. And now, she’s given birth to my son. Recently…” Lera’s head was spinning. Talk about earth-shattering news! Her steady, loving husband, a child on the side! The meaning of what he said barely penetrated. For a moment, she simply stared. He sat across from her, shoulders hunched, hands squeezed tight between his knees. He seemed smaller than usual—deflated somehow. “A son, then,” repeated Lera. “So, you, a married man, now have a son. And it wasn’t your wife who gave birth. Not me…” “Lera, honestly, I didn’t even know. I swear.” “You didn’t know how babies are made? You’re forty, Nick.” “I didn’t know she’d… well, that she’d choose to keep it. We broke up long ago, she’s with her husband now. I thought that was it.” He fumbled with his words. “Then, yesterday, a call: ‘You’ve got a son. Seven pounds, healthy.’ And then she hung up…” Lera stood, legs unsteady, knees like jelly as if she’d just run a marathon. Outside, autumn raged. Lera found herself distracted by the view—beautiful, even now. “So what now?” she asked, her back to him. “I don’t know,” he whispered. “Oh, great answer. A real man’s answer. You don’t know.” She spun around. “Are you going over there? To see him?” Nick, panic in his eyes, managed to mumble, “Lera, she gave me the hospital’s address, said discharge is in two days. She said: ‘Come if you want, don’t if you don’t. We don’t want anything from you.’” “Very noble of her…” Lera echoed. “‘We don’t want anything.’ How naive…” The front door slammed—her two eldest had returned. Instantly, Lera slipped on a smile. Years in business had taught her to keep her head up, even when a deal was falling apart. Their older son poked his head into the kitchen—a tall, broad-shouldered lad, twenty. “Hey, Mum, Dad. You both look glum! Mum, is there any food? We’re starving after training.” “Manty in the fridge, heat it up,” she replied automatically. “Dad, you promised to look at the carburettor on my rust-bucket,” called out her younger son, clapping Nick’s shoulder. The family scene stabbed at Lera’s heart. They called him Dad. Their real father had faded into the background years ago—now just money transfers and the occasional postcard. Nick had raised them: taught them to drive, patched scraped knees, handled school issues. He was their real dad. “I’ll take a look, Alex,” Nick smiled. “Give Mum and me a minute.” They left, clattering plates. Lera turned to him. “They love you,” she whispered. “And yet you…” “Lera, stop it. I love them too. They’re my boys. And I’m not leaving. I’ve told you—it was a mistake, an error in judgment. Nothing serious.” “Nothing serious—just the kind of mistake that leads to changing nappies,” she shot back. Their six-year-old daughter, Maisie, then burst in, and Lera’s composure cracked. Maisie leapt into her dad’s lap. “Daddy! Why are you sad? Did Mum scold you?” Nick pulled her close, burying his face in her pale hair. For her, Lera knew, he would do anything. “No, princess. Just adult stuff. Go pop on cartoons, I’ll be in soon.” With Maisie gone, silence fell again. “Everything’s changed, you know,” Lera said quietly, sitting again. “There’s a son out there, and he needs a dad. That woman says ‘nothing now’, but give it time—when there’s winter coats to buy or doctor’s bills, she’ll ring. And you’ll go. You’re kind-hearted, Nick—you always have been.” He said nothing. “And the money, Nick? Where are you going to get that?” Lera’s words hit their mark. His business collapsed two years ago—their debts paid from her earnings. He scraped by now, but everything important—home, cars, holidays, the kids’ education—came from her. Even his bank card was one attached to her account. “I’ll figure it out,” he muttered. “Driving Ubers at night? Or dipping into my purse to support your lovechild? I bankroll us, and now you’ll bankroll them—with my money?” “She’s not my mistress!” Nick barked. “It was over six months ago!” “Children have a way of binding people closer than any marriage certificate. Will you go to the hospital when they discharge her?” The question hung in the air. Nick covered his face with his hands. “I don’t know, Lera. Human decency says I should—after all, it’s not the child’s fault.” “And what about human decency toward me? Toward Maisie and the boys? You’ll hold that child, and you’ll get attached. Soon it’ll be weekly visits… then weekends away. You’ll start lying—to me, to the kids.” Nick grimaced. “She’s eight years younger than me, Nick. Thirty-two. She gave you a son—your own, flesh and blood. My sons aren’t yours by blood, as much as you raised them. That boy out there—he is.” Nick protested: “Nonsense. The boys are mine. I raised them.” “Men always want a legacy. Their very own.” “We have Maisie!” “She’s a girl, Nick…” Nick stood abruptly. “Enough! Stop pushing me out the door. I said I’m staying. I can’t just ignore the fact that somewhere there’s my own son. If you want me gone, I’ll leave—right now, pack my things and be gone. But don’t try to blackmail me, Lera!” Lera froze. If she said “leave” now, he would go—foolish, prideful, and broke. But he’d go straight to them. There, he’d be a hero, a savior, father—albeit a penniless one, but theirs. And then she’d lose him for good. Despite the pain, she didn’t want that. The children loved him. She did, too. “SIT,” she whispered. “No one’s throwing you out.” He hesitated, breathing heavily, then sat. “Lera, I’m sorry. I’m such a fool…” “A fool,” she agreed. “But MY fool…” That evening, Lera helped Maisie with homework, checked work emails… but her thoughts kept drifting. She pictured the other woman, young and beautiful, probably feeling victorious. “We don’t want anything!”—the most damning move of all. No demands, no drama, just presenting the facts. That pricks a man’s pride—makes him want to be the hero. Nick tossed and turned at night; Lera lay awake, staring into the dark. She was forty-five: gorgeous, stylish, successful—but aware that youth was not forever. The future belonged to that other woman. * The next morning was harder still. The boys ate quickly and left. Maisie cornered her father: “Daddy, braid my hair? Mum doesn’t do it right!” Nick obliged, his large hands strangely gentle. Lera sipped her coffee and watched: here was her husband—warm, familiar, hers. And out there was another child, who had the same claim. How was this fair? “Nick,” she said, as Maisie rushed off to dress. “We need to decide—now.” He set the brush aside. “I thought about it all night.” “And?” “I’m not going to the hospital.” Lera felt something tighten in her chest, but hid it. “Why?” “Because if I go, I’ll give hope—to her, to myself, to that child. I can’t be a part-time dad, split between two homes. I don’t want to lie to you, Lera. I don’t want to steal time from Maisie or the boys.” He looked at her, exhausted. “I chose you eleven years ago. You’re my wife. This—this is my family.” “And the boy?” Even she was surprised to hear herself ask it. “I’ll pay support. Through the courts or with a bank account—whatever’s needed. But visits? No. Better he grows up never knowing me, than waiting for a father who’s just watching the clock, desperate to get home to his real family. That’s fairer.” Lera was silent, rolling her wedding ring around her finger. “You’re sure you won’t regret this?” “I probably will,” Nick admitted. “I’ll worry, I’m sure. But if I go, I lose you—and you won’t stand for that. You’re strong, but not made of stone. You’ll start to hate me, and I can’t let that happen.” He crossed the kitchen, resting his hands on her shoulders. “I don’t want another life. I want you—and the kids. The rest is the price for my mistake. I’ll pay in money, and only in money. No time. No attention. That’s all I’ve got to give.” She placed her hand over his. “Your own money?” she smirked. “I’ll earn it. I’ll find a way. I’ll never ask for your help with this.” And with that, she was at peace. Her husband may not have behaved honourably toward her, but these were exactly the words she had needed. No sharing. The other woman could deal with her choices. Nick never went to the hospital. The mistress soon flooded his phone with angry voicemails. He told her bluntly: she could expect financial support, nothing more. She hung up, and for half a year—there wasn’t another word from her. Lera was more than satisfied with that.
I’ve had a son by you, but we want nothing from you, rang the voice down the phone his mistress....
Gathered My Things and Set Off in Peace, My Wife Declared
Emily packed her suitcase, scrawled off in peace on a napkin, and drifted out the door like a sigh. Yesterday....
The Estranged Relative Who Came Knocking
How do you picture that, Mum? Ilya snapped, looking annoyed. Im supposed to live two weeks with a complete stranger?...
Move to Your ‘Own Territory’ – Declared the Husband
Move out to your own place, he said, his voice flat as dinner plates clattered. Victor had waited too long...
Dad Didn’t Keep His Promise
You know, said Natalie, choosing her words carefully. Grownups can be downright foolish, sometimes even more so than children. Dad...
Happy People Always Wear a Smile
Emily stared out of the kitchen window as a gentle summer rain pattered against the panes. The sun had just...
The Wise Wife
Okay, so listen, Ive got a bit of a rollercoaster to tell you about Nick and his love life, and...
You’ll Have to Sit with the Little One, After All—You’re the Granny!
Grandma, youll have to look after the baby, youre the only one, Laura snapped, eyes flashing with a mix of...