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Повернення додому: наш перший візит до батьків після весілля.

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На Петрів день ми вирішили поїхати до моїх батьків, після того як пройшло майже півроку з нашого весілля. Я розумів, що це буде випробування, але не здогадувався, наскільки важким. Ще з порога мама зустріла нас холодним поглядом і словами, від яких затерпли жили: “Тут люди працюють, а не веселяться”. В її голосі була загроза, ніби ми прийшли не в рідний дім, а на заслання.

Моя Оксана, з її ніжними руками та міською витонченістю, здалася мені слабкою, немов квітка серед бур’янів. Я бачив, як її рука міцніше стискається навколо моєї, коли мама запропонувала їй чистити рибу. “Тарасе, це ж твоя дружина, а не робітниця!” — кричало всередині мене, але я змовчав. Змовчав, бо знав: кожен мій супротив лише підніме бурю.

Ті дні в селі перетворилися на кошмар. Оксана працювала допізна, її пальці дрижали від холоду, коли вона мила посуд у криничній воді. Я бачив, як вона кусала губу, щоб не заплакати, коли мама знову і знову звинувачувала її в лінощах. “Ти ніколи не будеш гідна мого сина!” — звучало в голові, немов прокляття. А я стояв осторонь, немов прикований невидимими ланцюгами до землі, де виріс.

Наші вечері складалися з вареної картоплі та риби, яку Оксана готувала, але мама навіть не сідала з нами. Вона спостерігала з кутка, як тінь, що чекає помилки. А коли ми нарешті лягали спати, я чув, як Оксана плаче в подушку. “Прости… Прости за все це…” — шепотів я, але слова зникали в темряві.

Повернувшись додому, я наважився сказати мамі: “Більше не ображай мою дружину”. Але вона лише сміялася. “Ти забув, хто тебе виховував? Хто годував тебе, коли ти плакав від голоду?” Її слова впивалися в серце, як ніж.

Коли знову поїхали в село, я був готовий до боротьби. Батько пошкодив ногу, і я мусив вигулювати худобу. Оксані дали гумові чоботи, які натирали ноги до крові. Дощ перетворив поле на болото, і вона йшла за мною, спотикаючись. Я мовчав, бо знав: будь-яка моя допомога викличе нову хвилю знущань.

А потім була баранина. Оксана не переносила запаху, але мама навмисно готувала її кожен день. “Їжте, якщо хочете бути частиною цієї сім’ї!” — гримнула вона, коли Оксана відвернула тарілку. Я взяв виделку, розірвав шматок м’яса і кинув його на підлогу. “Більше ніколи”, — прошепотів я, але це був лише початок війни.

Тепер, коли Оксана вагітна нашою донечкою, я більше не ризикую. “Їдь сама, якщо хочеш, — кажу матері по телефону. — Але вона залишиться тут”. В її мовчанні було стільки образи, але моє серце вперше було спокійним. Я обіймаю Оксану, і її теплі руки нагадують: іноді сім’ю треба захищати навіть від тих, хто дав тобі життя.

Наступного разу, коли мама зателефонувала, я вимкнув телефон. Нам обом було боляче. Але іноді біль — це єдиний спосіб прокинутися.

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