Ready to Forgive and Take Back – Not a Chance!

Think Ill be running after you? I shouted. Ive got a whole bunch of you for a pennyworth.
Then go and buy your own bunch for a penny and leave me alone.
Who do you think you are?

Theres an old saying: whats on a sober mind but Daisy, whod spent her whole life in a rough council estate and whose own flat was a constant mess, would twist that proverb into something entirely different. It would sound more like, Whats on a sober mind is what a drunk actually does. After a few pints people not only say what they think, they often act in a completely different way.

If alcohol removes all the internal rails, then after a couple of glasses a person doesnt lose themselves they become more themselves.

Take Daisys father, for example. He never hid anything from the family, never raised his voice, never swore. He drank the same way quietly, calmly and even when he was drunk he managed to keep his house in order.

When he fell back into drinking, Daisy and her mother found out because he would disappear to the cottage with a big bottle of lager, living in a cycle of wakeup stumble sleep for a week. Then, as if nothing had happened, hed return home and the family would go on as normal.

Across the hall, the neighbours husband was a nightmare, storming about the flat at the drop of a hat. It wasnt unusual for the neighbour to come over to Daisys place with her two kids, complaining how lucky she was that her own husband was quiet and steady.

Daisy knew her mother had once had a lover, but shed broken up with him because his behaviour when hed had a few drinks was unbearable. Shed always been taught that if a man gets drunk it isnt a tragedy everyone either drinks, plays games, or has some other vice to cope with stress. But if he starts doing the wrong things while intoxicated, you drop him on the spot, no second chances, no promises.

Thats how Daisy earned a reputation as someone who cant stand a drinker. In her circle, anyone who thought she might have a glass or two on a good occasion was instantly ignored. You cant drink around her, theyd say. Consequently, her third boyfriend the first two had ended because of drunken behaviour swore he never touched alcohol.

On the plus side, it was a relief. Daisy had watched a generation of drinkers grow up, and she knew exactly what to expect. On the other hand, she still wondered what would happen if a future partner had a different kind of problem. She figured she could live together, see how things went, and if something felt off, she could walk away nobody was forcing anyone into marriage these days.

She could take time to size each other up in a natural setting, as they say.

Thats what happened with Nick. After a celebration for a successful exam season, Daisy was finishing her final year, and Charlie, who had graduated a year earlier, was already wellconnected among her classmates, so he slipped into the crowd.

Where there are students, theres booze, scant snacks, and the kind of rapidacting drinks that spark strange ideas like lets play Truth or Dare. One of her mates forced Daisy to the karaoke mic, arguing that shed always declined invitations to sing, even when they managed to drag her into a proper pub. Darling, Ive looked after you, worried for you, but a little hairraising scream isnt going to suit anyone, except maybe on Halloween, Daisy thought, but she took the mic anyway and managed a single line before the same mate snatched it away.

Fine, you asked for it, now deal with the mess, he laughed. The group turned the night into a cheatsheet swap, and the overlyprincipled Katie, clutching her notes, shuffled back to her room.

Someone clucked, someone danced in a cramped corner, and at some point everything went off the rails Daisy cant even recall exactly when. The next loser was Charlie, whod never touched a drink, when Marina, a friend of the infatuated Masha, suddenly told him to kiss her. Daisy watched from the sidelines as Charlie, completely sober, gave Masha a cheeky smile and leaned in, planting a long kiss on her lips. He lingered, waiting for her to respond. Daisy exchanged bewildered looks with the other stunned classmates, and then a spring seemed to snap inside her.

In an instant a bottle of sticky, sweet, flat soda burst over the kissing pair, and Daisy, letting out a profanity, bolted out of the room into the night. She gulped the bitter, cold air, feeling tears well up like a hurt child.

Shed thought shed finally found happiness. And then

Daisy! Wait! Charlies shout rang out just as a taxi screeched to a halt beside her. She jumped into the back seat, rattling off her parents address, grateful that shed grabbed her bag, her cards, her phone thank God she didnt have to go back and face the mess.

Her mother, spotting the distress on Daisys face, didnt pry. She poured a cup of hot tea and sat with her while Daisy sipped and dabbed her nose. Everything will sort itself out, she kept saying. Itll grind down, but youll be fine. Shed repeated that so often that, if you add up all the grinding Daisys endured, you could bake a loaf for a lifetime.

Mom, Im moving back. Ill collect my things from his flat tomorrow and get a new place. Can I?

Whats the point of asking? Your homes always been here. You left when you wanted, remember?

You can always come back, the spare rooms there, the furnitures still in place, and neither I nor your father will mind.

If her mother had shooed her out with a kneejerk go live on your own, dont come back, Daisy might have rushed back to Nick and tried to forget what happened. But now, with a solid support network and quiet parental backing, she felt on top of the world and wasnt about to tolerate any more nonsense.

So where have you been all night? Nick asked as she unlocked the door with her key.

Thats none of your business, she snapped, heading straight to the bedroom and methodically pulling her belongings from the wardrobe into a large chequered suitcase. Two suitcases would be enough; then shed call a cab and leave those relationship nightmares behind like a bad dream.

Hey, you think you can just walk out on me like that? Not even a proper goodbye?

Whats there to talk about? You kiss my classmate right in front of me, and you do it like its nothing. How could I forgive you?

Your heads full of cockroaches. It wasnt cheating; it was just a kiss, and I was given an assignment. Whos to blame?

So if I were told to sit on someones lap or dance halfnaked, that would be fine?

Dont compare. You never got a task like that. I just did what I was asked.

Dont overreact. Youve made up stories in your head and now you want to ruin everything.

Go ahead, ruin it. Think Ill chase after you? Ive got a whole bunch of you for a pennyworth.

Then go buy your own bunch for a penny and get off my back.

Who do you think you are?

Turns out she *was* needed. Daisy found a new boyfriend after six months, and this one was actually decent. Luck only turned up on the fourth try.

Charlie still runs into Daisy on the street now and then, trying to convince her that she imagined the whole thing, that she didnt need to break things off, and that shell regret it. Hes a goodnatured bloke, always ready to forgive and take her back.

And whos really the one suffering? Not Charlie he ought to have stuck to his first kiss and not been chasing after other girls. In the end, Daisy did the right thing by walking away.