Suddenly, he announced that he would cover the wedding’s main expenses, leaving me to foot the entire bill for the trip myself.

Simon told me hed foot the whole wedding bill, so I was left to cough up the entire honeymoon, he announced, deadpan, as if it were the most ordinary thing in the world.

Six months ago my best mate Poppy Montgomery walked down the aisle at StMarys Church in Norwich. I was there, cheering and pretending I didnt snort when the organ hit that highnote. A few weeks later she called, voice barely above a whisper, and confessed shed already filed for divorce. Theyd seemed a pictureperfect couple, so something must have gone terribly awry. I rang her that weekend and we arranged to meet at our favourite tea spot, The Willow & Bean.

Poppy arrived a tad late, puffing slightly as if shed sprinted the last halfmile. I teased her about the tardiness, but she looked exhausted, far from the witty storyteller I knew.

Poppy, stop beating around the bush. Why are you getting a divorce? Did he cheat? What on earth happened?

No, she sighed. He didnt cheat, he didnt hit me. Hes simply greedy. Thats why were parting ways.

Greedy enough to call it off?

From day one he insisted we split every single expense down the middle. At first I thought he meant just the wedding. Of course he couldnt cover it himself, so I chipped in. Then he started demanding that I match his contribution to everything else. My salary is three times his, yet he expects me to give him a handout. Hed rather teach me how to save a penny than enjoy a night out.

Every morning wed sit down and tally the previous days spendings. He even asked for receipts! I assumed he was trying to tighten the postwedding purse strings, but it only grew worse. He kept a little ledger where I had to note every pound and explain why Id spent it.

Did he ask you to file a receipt for groceries? I asked.

Once he went off about a pair of shoes I bought without consulting him. He told me to ask permission before splurging on anything pricey and to report back with a full breakdown, she replied, shaking her head.

Why didnt you bolt earlier?

I dont know. The worst bit was our botched honeymoon to Corfu. Wed planned it before the wedding, saved up for ages, even borrowed a few quid from friends. I was counting on Simon to pony up as well. Then, out of the blue, he announced hed covered the whole wedding cost, so the honeymoon was on me. He accused me of being terrible at saving. Two days before we were due to leave, he blurted out that hed be going to Corfu himself and would sort out the money. I nearly fainted. That evening he packed a suitcase and walked out the door without a goodbye. I didnt see him off; I started packing my own bags. Yesterday I signed the divorce papers.

Ive given Simon my full support not that anyone needs a pennypinching, goldhoarding bloke in their life. Its a pity Poppy didnt spot the warning signs before saying I do. Still, better to end things now than to endure years of misery. A man like that wouldnt spare his own children from his stinginess.