The Country Retreat of Trials and Tribulations

What’s that you need? Lucy asked, eyebrows up. She was standing on the little patch of garden at her Mums cottage, wondering why anyone would need anything out here besides a trowel and some seeds. Everythings the same as always, Mumjust digging in the beds and planting what we can.

Are you okay, love? Not feeling lightheaded? Margaret replied, trying to keep her voice steady. Shed been rushed to the hospital right after Roberts funeral, his heart condition flaring up just after the fortyday mourning period. Theyd all thought it was natural the couple had lived quietly together for years, and when Robert slipped away, everyone assumed the sixtyyearold Margaret would be on her own. After all, shed lost her husband and, apparently, didnt need anyone else.

Robert hadnt suffered long; hed just settled down to watch his favourite BBC drama and then, gone to sleep on the sofa. Theyd been planning a silver wedding, but instead they had to organise a funeral.

Robert had left a threebed house and a decent cottage on the familys little plot of land they were still finishing it up when Lucy was just a kid.

One Saturday, Lucy drove out to the cottage, the planting season was kicking in, and she ran into a bloke wandering around the garden. His face looked vaguely familiar turns out he was the GP from the hospital where Mum had been staying. He was strolling around the plot in his underwear!

Lucy tried to make sense of it. Maybe the doctor was there for a routine checkup, a bit of postdischarge screening after all, itd been almost six months. But why was he halfnaked and where was his stethoscope? He wasnt exactly dressed for a house call.

The sun was beating down, and walking around someones garden in your birthday suit took a fair bit of nerve.

Mum met her at the gate, looking a bit annoyed.

Whats it you want? she asked.

What do you mean, what do I want? Lucy repeated, a little taken aback. All I need here is a spade and maybe a seed packet. Anything else?

Are you feeling alright, love? Not a bit dizzy? Mum asked again, more gently.

Not at all. So why are you asking?

Whats the problem, then? Mum said, eyes steady on her daughter.

The GP, a man about sixty, stepped forward, gave a polite nod and a quick hello. He didnt seem to mind standing there in his briefs in front of a pretty thirtyfiveyearold woman. He kept his composure, apparently.

Lucy gave a small nod, turned the conversation, and felt a mix of embarrassment and shame. She didnt want to bolt straight away that would be like walking off the battlefield before any fighting started.

But staying? She imagined him wandering the garden, waving his hands about like one of those old folk sayings about shaking the broom. She poured herself a glass of water and decided she needed answers: why was the doctor acting like he owned the place, and what was Mum up to with him?

Its exactly that hes at home now, Mum said. And our plans? Oh, theyre big: were getting married!

Lucys mouth fell open. Married? Right now? What about Dads memory and whats that song about? Aznavour?

Mum chuckled, We could get hitched in a bit of a rush! She laughed at herself. And Lucy, youre standing there like a wallflower the blokes blushing!

Lucy thought, Blushing? In his birthday suit? She muttered aloud, Can he be embarrassed somewhere else? Why the nakedness?

Mum, trying to keep a straight face, replied, Hed be uncomfortable without his trousers, love. We love each other, and soon everything will be shared my house will be his house too.

Thats odd, Lucy said, a little irritated. I have a right to my share of the inheritance, dont I?

It turned out the cottage was legally registered entirely in Mums name. Roberts name never appeared on the deeds, so there was no family property to split. Mum was the sole owner of the cottage, the house, and the land.

Lucy felt like she was nothing on that plot. If Mum wasnt lying, why would she? The land had originally been given to Grandma Ethel back when she worked at the local design office everyone got a plot then.

Mum explained, Your dad never cared about material things. He was always off in his head, dreaming about the clouds.

During the chat, the GP, whod been digging a little trench in the garden, stopped, wiped his hands on his trousers, and nodded, his bald head glinting in the sun, as if saying, Right, Im with you, dear.

The seedlings lay out in the heat, and Lucy sat there quietly, wondering if she should just pack it all up and leave. By the paperwork, she had no legal claim to the cottage shed been a child when it was bought, so she wasnt on the title.

She drove back home, thoughts spinning about why Mum was acting so oddly, and whether the strange doctor was the cause. Her mind also drifted to the flat they owned together, wondering if that would get messy too. Mum had suddenly become very shrewd and resourceful.

Max, her husband, was spooked when his wife didnt come home on a Saturday night as usual; it was only noon. He asked, Anything up with Margaret?

Lucy and Max had been married ten years, with eightyearold Emily spending her holidays at her grandparents cottage. That weekend, Emilys other grandma Maxs mum had taken her over.

Lucy sighed, The cottage isnt working out, and the flat is a mess too.

Max chuckled, Ah, the motherinlaw! Even an acute heart condition cant keep her from stirring trouble.

Do you remember the doctors name? Max asked. The one wandering around in his drawers?

Rivers, I think Dr. Rivers, Lucy recalled. I even talked to him once about Mum.

But without his white coat and stethoscope, hed looked like a different person.

Max hunted online and found out Dr. Rivers, full name Vladimir Rivers, was married.

Lucy asked, Hows he going to marry Mum then?

Probably divorcing, Max guessed. Bigamy isnt allowed here. We should talk to Mum about it.

They drove to a friend of Maxs a solicitor nicknamed The Devils Advocate because he never lost a case. He explained they could try to settle amicably, but if that failed, theyd have to go to court. Since the cottage and the flat were bought while they were married, the law treats them as joint assets, even if the title is in Mums name, because Mum paid for it with her own money too.

Feeling a bit hopeful, they returned to the cottage, hoping for a friendly chat. But Mum wouldnt even let them in. Dont bother us, you oldtimer, she snapped, I wont let you meddle with my health.

Max shouted over the fence, Then well take it to court!

The doctor, now fully in the role of owner, shouted back, Do what you like!

The lawsuit sparked a wave of outrage from Mum. Going to court over this? My husbands corpse is turning in his grave because his widow is pulling in a stranger, married at that! Its a disgrace! Lucy snapped, tears brimming.

Mum roared, Youll get nothing! The cottage is mine, the flat youll get a fraction of, but stay away from the cottage!

Lucy felt ashamed of dragging everything to court, but Mum refused any compromise. In the end, the judge awarded Lucy a quarter of the cottage and a quarter of the flat; the rest went to Mum.

Mum screamed like a wounded animal, refusing to let Lucy onto her land. The court ordered the property to be sold and the money split, or for them to buy each others shares. Lucy decided to buy the cottage from Mum. It felt cruel to sell it back, but Mum agreed shed been nudged into it.

A notarised agreement was signed: Lucy would give up her share in the flat in exchange for the cottage. Mum became the sole owner of the flat plus a nice sum, and Lucy finally owned the cottage.

Max, the doctor, vanished from the hospital, presumably fed up that the cottage ended up elsewhere. Money didnt solve everything; now they could divorce and have a fancy second wedding in a posh restaurant with a DJ, but who would they ask?

Mums heart condition remained, but she seemed back to her old, loving self after the drama cleared. Lucy and Mum patched things up, and the cottage, the flat, everything became ours again.

Mum later blamed her odd behaviour on a temporary lapse of mind, Mercury retrograde, and a mysterious asteroid heading close to Earth. Blame the suns flares, she joked. And maybe the world will tilt on its axis soon hopefully we dodge that asteroid!