The Fate of Two Souls

Sam had always been the invisible one in his school. Not that he tried to blend into the wallpaper he was clever, with neat features that could have sparked a few compliments if anyone bothered to look. But Form 10A never seemed to notice him; the pupils formed cliques based on shared interests, and Sam didnt fit into any of them. He wasnt bullied, but he never had friends either.

He was a lone wolf by default, you might say, by nature. The school canteen, the classroom, his flat that was his whole world. And honestly, Sam didnt feel a strong urge to mingle with his peers.

Then she arrived.

The new girl.

Her backstory was patchy: no parents, a grandmother who barely needed her. She was also a loner, but unlike Sam she seemed a bit wilted rather than aloof.

When Sam saw her, the drab, blackandwhite world hed known suddenly burst into colour. Love at first sight, he thought.

Hello, he said, strolling over to her desk after lessons.

He hadnt expected to say that, truly. The rest of the class practically streamed past the door as they left the room.

Lily closed her textbook, looked up, and replied, Hi.

Im Sam. And youre Lily, right? Ive taken note, he said, instantly realising this wasnt the usual way to court a girl.

Right, Lily, she affirmed.

So how are you finding our form? I noticed you handed in a blank maths paper. All good?

Lily had indeed turned in nothing. She was probably hoping to make a better impression on the new teachers.

Just strange. Im a bit behind, but Ill catch up, she admitted.

You could ask someone for help.

Ask, huh? Easy words. Its not easy for me to meet people, she added, standing up.

I get it. Im not much of a chatterbox either. If you need anything, just shout. I know this school well well, I study well, which is to say I get decent grades. Not that youre abnormal, Sam said, trying not to sound patronising.

Got it, Lily smiled.

And so their friendship began.

With a purpose finally attached to his school days, Sam started not only hanging out with Lily but also, in his shy way, trying to be a little romantic. He was good at everything: maths, literature, even managing to cover for her during PE.

Sam, youre so clever! Lily would say, leaning over her notebook. How do you work it out? The teacher explained the whole lesson and I still have no clue. Honestly, I couldnt finish school without you.

She was exaggerating, of course, but Sam liked the flattery.

Its simple. You just need to know which formula to use. Youll get there soon enough.

It just isnt coming as fast for me as it does for you, she confessed.

Its not a race. The important thing is that you understand. If you dont, Ill explain again a hundred times if I have to.

A thousand times, as long as shed sit with him.

In Year 11 Sam was gearing up to tell Lily how he felt, waiting for the perfect moment. That moment never arrived, and Lily, now more confident and brimming with knowledge, started gravitating toward other classmates. She had a knack for getting along with everyone a sudden talent that surprised Sam.

He was genuinely happy for her, but a sour note lingered inside him.

While Sam plotted ways to win Lilys attention, she began spending more time with Dave. Dave was boisterous, always at the centre of the action, and Lily started orbiting his whirlwind. Dave quickly sized up the situation.

Sam watched Lily shift seats to sit beside Dave more and more.

One afternoon in the park, with Dave off chasing his mates, Sam asked, Lily, whats up with you and Dave? You didnt turn up yesterday as wed planned

Sorry, we got carried away. I think Im falling in love, Lily blurted.

Sam froze, then, out of friendship duty, asked, Is he a good bloke?

He wasnt sure, having known Dave since primary school.

Hes easy to get along with, Lily replied.

And with me?

Lily gave him a sideways glance. Sam, youre my best mate. With friends its always easy. With a boyfriend its always messy, but Dave is simple. I think well make it work.

Sam understood. He would remain a friend the best friend, but just a friend.

School finished, and with it the carefree days when Lily could pop up under any excuse. Lily now dated Dave, and only occasionally saw Sam in the park when she remembered him.

Dave and Lily married almost straight away.

Sam attended the wedding, playing the part of the loyal friend to the very end. He smiled, congratulated them, got snapped a hundred times in group photos with the newlyweds. He kept wondering why the nuptials had seemed so rushed, a question Lily never fully answered.

Then someone whispered the reason: Lily was pregnant soon to be a mother. The explanation hit Sam like a brick. All romantic fantasies evaporated. Responsibility, fatherhood, perhaps a desire for stability that was the real driver.

Sam realised there was nothing left for him to chase. Lily would have a child.

He tried. Honestly, he tried. He went on dates, tried to fit into the university scene, but nothing felt right. His heart was still haunted by the image of Lily, even the Lily who now lived a completely different life.

Lilys married life, however, turned out to be far from the fairytale shed imagined. Instead of a happy new beginning, she found herself living in Daves mother Ingrids house. Ingrid made it clear who ruled the roost. Lily, once a bright young woman, now felt more like a servant.

This is mine, Ingrid said when Lily reached for a candy from a jar.

She wasnt protecting the candy; she was establishing authority.

May I have one? Lily asked.

Fine, have one, Ingrid replied curtly.

Lily had only lived with her grandmother before; now everything was unexpected.

Lily gave birth on schedule, but the house never let her recover.

When will you start working? You eat for two but refuse to earn a penny, Ingrid snapped, casting disapproving glances. This isnt a restaurant or an orphanage. Everyone must pull their weight.

What about Kolya? Whos going to look after him? Lily asked, referring to her son.

I wont. I raised my own boy, now you raise yours. Nothing more. I can juggle night shifts and a baby, Ingrid said, never mentioning that Daves own father was mostly the one helping at night, while Dave himself avoided any parental duties.

Dave seemed oblivious or indifferent, preferring weekends spent in the pub with his mates, leaving wife and motherinlaw to sort things out.

Lily, what can I do? You women youll figure it out, Dave muttered, as if that solved anything.

Lily often had no one to talk to. Sam tried to keep in touch, but even he struggled to break through the barrier of Ingrids constant presence.

Lily endured. She endured because there was nowhere else to go.

Years slipped by, leaving wrinkles on faces and scars in souls. Sam was now twentyfive. His career was thriving; his love life, not so much just as it had been at school. He remained the same solitary type, only now more wary.

He saw Lily rarely, and a private chat with her felt like a Christmas miracle. Whenever he met her, Ingrid was invariably nearby.

Lily! he called, spotting her at a bus stop.

They hadnt spoken in almost a year.

Sam. How long has it been? Lily replied, as if time had slipped away.

Almost a year, Sam said, looking closely at her face. Hows life? Work?

Talking about work felt pointless. It was work, just enough to keep the baby in nursery and scrape together some sick pay.

Everythings fine, as you can see, Lily said, applying a thin layer of foundation.

Sam sensed something off. Under the makeup, a faint bruise lingered on her cheek.

Did Dave do that? he asked, without thinking.

Lily flinched, then snapped, Thats none of your business, Sam. Stay out of it.

Whatever was happening with Lily, Sam couldnt reach her, and every attempt to help fell flat.

Lily

Well see each other again, she said, brushing off his concern.

Later, back at home, Lily reached for her powder and wiped away the foundation. The bruise became fully visible. She stared at her reflection, whispering, What has become of me?

Before she could answer herself, Ingrid stormed in.

Who did you see today? How many times must I protect you from your own son? You know what will happen if he finds out! she shrieked, pointing at the bruise. Did you ask for extra medication? Who were you meeting?

Lily stammered, Sam were school friends. We just happened to run into each other.

In that case, its the Sam who used to run to the park with you, the same Sam whos still a sh. And Dave cant stand it any longer because of you Hes started drinking more because of you, Ingrid ranted, turning the whole scene into a long, exhausting performance.

In the cramped flat that Ingrid had rented long before Lily and Daves wedding, the air felt suffocating. Lily wanted to flee, though she hadnt imagined it would be literal.

Were moving, Ingrid announced, making decisions for everyone. To the village. City flats are pricey; a house out there is cheaper.

Its about time, Mum. Weve wasted a fortune on rent, Dave replied, indifferent to where he worked.

No one asked Lily.

Before they left, Lily slipped away to say goodbye to Sam. He looked at her as if she were already a funeral guest.

Lily, this move is a huge mistake. Youll be stuck in the village, and theres no escape. Where are you going? he urged.

You dont get it, Sam. No one asked me.

The choice is always yours, he insisted. It just happens to be a tough one.

And who am I to anyone but them?

Me. Stay with me. Move in with me. You, me, and Kolya.

It fell on deaf ears.

The village was a modest house with no modern comforts well, you could install them, but it required effort. No familiar faces surrounded them.

Dave, as it turned out, didnt change his habits even in the countryside. He spent whole days disappearing, returning home like a squeezed lemon essentially, completely drunk.

Ingrid, instead of easing Lilys burden, intensified her supervisory regime.

Lily! Slice the salami for the sandwiches. Peel the potatoes. Then vacuum. Whos going to do all that?

Kolya, their son, seemed to inherit his fathers habits.

Kolya, tidy up after yourself! Lily snapped when he left tea spilling on the table.

Youd better clean up yourself. Why are you even here? Ingrid snarled.

Lily, fed up with his arrogance, looked to Dave for any sign of discipline, but he just smiled.

Right, lad. From now on youll be stricter, he said, as if that solved everything.

Later Lily tried to talk to Kolya, explaining why his behaviour was wrong, and he nodded politely. A week later he reversed the lesson, telling Lily what to fetch. What help is there when the father is the example?

Dave roamed in and out, sometimes showing up home in a drunken stupor, eyes bruised.

Youve ruined my son! Ingrid shouted one night, clutching a battered Dave. Youve always had a sidewoman. Think you know why Dave drinks? Because he cant handle the fallout of a divorce!

Lily stayed silent. What could she say? That Daves nightly escapades were his own fault? He never admitted anything with Sam, otherwise he might have left.

Kolya grew up into a carbon copy of his dad: a twentyyearold who didnt know what work meant, following his father out to the pub, returning home drunk.

Mum, can you spare five hundred pounds? he asked. Dad said so.

Lily sighed. You and your father arent going to work, are you?

Show me where a decent job is, Ill apply, he pleaded.

One day, tension in the house hit a breaking point. Lily, driven to the brink, fled the village and headed for the city, seeking Sam.

It felt like a revelation. With Sam, perhaps things would be different.

She arrived at the address she remembered from better, and worse, times Sams house. She sat on the bench until darkness fell, too shy to ring the doorbell. His parents were there, but Sam himself was nowhere to be seen.

The intercom buzzed.

Mate, well pop over tomorrow. Whats the plan? his mother called, holding the hand of a welldressed woman who looked oddly like a motherinlaw.

Lily realised there was no point holding onto hope. Some doors, once shut, never open again.