The man I dreamed of left his wife for me, yet I never anticipated how everything would unfold.

The bloke Id been dreaming about ditched his wife for me, and I never imagined how the whole circus would end up.

Id been fawning over him since our university days at Leeds. Call it blind, foolish love the sort of thing you only see in cheesy romcoms. When he finally gave me a glance, I completely lost my marbles. It was, honestly, a few years after wed both tossed our caps. We wound up in the same firm a consultancy in the City because we both specialised in corporate law, so it wasnt exactly a miracle. Still, I told myself it was destiny.

He seemed the perfect chap. In my twenties I didnt give a fig that he was already married. Id never been wed, so I had no clue what it felt like when a marriage went pear-shaped. So I felt no shame when James decided to leave his missus for me. Who could have guessed it would bring me a heap of grief? As the old saying goes, you cant build happiness on someone elses misery.

When he chose me, I was on cloud nine and could forgive him anything. The truth, however, was that in everyday life he wasnt the Prince Charming we saw at office parties. His stuff was strewn across the flat, he flatout refused to do the dishes, and all the household chores landed squarely on my lap. At the time I didnt mind one bit.

He quickly swept his previous marriage under the carpet. They hadnt had any kids, and, as it turned out, it was his inlaws who had pushed for the wedding. With me, everything was supposed to be different at least thats what he kept telling me.

My bliss didnt last long it ended as soon as I got pregnant. At first James was over the moon about becoming a dad. We even threw a big family gathering to celebrate, and everyone wished us love and good health for the little one on the way.

That evening is still one of my fondest memories, and I dont regret it. But from that moment my blind affection started to dim.

The bigger my belly grew, the less often I saw James. I was on maternity leave, so we only met late at night. He stayed later at the office and kept turning up at company dos. At first it didnt bother me, but soon it was wearing me down. The housework became a nightmare because I could no longer simply bend over to pick up the stray socks.

During those weeks I kept wondering had we rushed into parenthood a touch too early?

I knew feelings could cool, but I never expected it to happen so fast. James still brought flowers and chocolates, yet all I wanted was his presence.

Then the truth peeked out. Over a coffee break a colleague mentioned a new junior had joined our department a move prompted by a staffing shortage that had become urgent once I went on leave. How very British, right? I wasnt sure who it was, but James certainly had someone, because his diary was full of meetings, networking events, and yet another office function he couldnt miss. One day I found a note in his jacket pocket signed with initials I didnt recognise. I dont know what possessed me, but I slipped the note back and pretended Id never seen it.

It was terrifying to be left alone in the seventh month, while James kept moaning that Id gone completely irrational. Every row ended with his sigh of disappointment. Somehow I understood that if I raised the subject, I would end up on my own. The fear of losing him was so intense that I couldnt think of anything else. Theres that old superstition: if you dread something enough, itll happen.

No matter how charming James had been at the start, he wasnt a gentleman. The worst lines I ever heard were: Im not ready for children. and Ive got someone else. I cant even recall exactly how he said it, but at that moment I felt like I was losing my mind.

I never imagined Id summon the guts to file for divorce. James surely didnt expect me to put up with his antics any longer, nor that Id toss his belongings out the very next day. I was relieved our flat was a rental at least we didnt have to split a house.

What about the baby? Think of the child. How will you support him?

Somehow. Ill find work from home. Besides, my parents have always offered to help. Mum used to say he was a bit of a womaniser I shouldve listened.

Perhaps the responsibility for my little lad gave me a boost of confidence. On my own I probably wouldnt have walked away.

But I also realised I didnt want to raise a child with a father like that. His betrayal was so vile that I wanted nothing more to do with him. It was as if a curtain had been pulled back from my eyes.

The first few months after the divorce, including the birth itself, were a rough ride. I moved back in with my parents in Birmingham, who were over the moon, especially my sons grandparents. I cant claim I didnt miss James at all, but I tried not to dwell on it. Deep down I knew Id made the right call and that I could give my son everything he needed.

Once I got my footing, I started hunting for work. Id done occasional legal translations before, and now I turned it into a fulltime remote gig. Sure, there were months without a paycheck, but my parents kept the kettle on. Soon I built a steady client list and no longer needed their financial lifeline.

My boy grew like a weed, and the first few years flew by before I even noticed. I only realised it when he finally needed his own room. My parents were reluctant to let us go, but I wanted a space of my own a home office for me and a proper study for him. By then I could afford to rent a twobed flat in a leafy suburb of Coventry.

From that point on, things started to click. Nursery turned into primary school, Year1 into Year5, and for the first time in ages I felt happy and free again. Then, out of the blue, James resurfaced.

Our legal world isnt that vast, and everyone knows everyones name. So it wasnt hard for James to track down the address of my new office. I suddenly regretted not packing up and moving elsewhere with my son. It turned out my ex had finally settled down and was deeply remorseful. He claimed hed been young and foolish, lamented never having known his son, and begged for a meeting.

Legally, a father can see his child, and I know that if James truly wants to, hell find a way in. The thought makes my stomach churn. Its been weeks since our chat. I told him Id think about it, but honestly I cant process the idea. Im desperate to keep my son away from his father.

Now I wonder if this is some sort of karmic punishment for having whisked James away from his first wife. Perhaps I should simply pack up and move to another city?