З життя
THE MOTHER-IN-LAW Anna Petrovna sat in the kitchen, watching the milk quietly simmer on the stove. Three times she’d forgotten to stir it, and each time she remembered too late: the froth would rise and spill over, and she’d wipe the stovetop in irritation. In those moments, she realized: it wasn’t about the milk. Ever since her second grandchild was born, it was as if everything in the family had gone off the rails. Her daughter grew weary, lost weight, and spoke less. Her son-in-law came home late, ate in silence, and sometimes retreated straight to the bedroom. Anna Petrovna noticed all this and thought: how could anyone leave a woman alone like this? She spoke up—first gently, then with more edge. At first to her daughter, then to her son-in-law. But she began to notice a strange thing: after her words, things in the house didn’t get lighter—they got heavier. Her daughter defended her husband, her son-in-law grew more withdrawn, and she herself went home with the feeling she’d once again done the wrong thing. That day, she went to the vicar not for advice, but because she simply had nowhere else to go with these feelings. ‘I suppose I’m just a bad person,’ she said, not looking at him. ‘I do everything wrong.’ The vicar was sitting at his desk, writing. He put down his pen. ‘Why do you think that?’ Anna Petrovna shrugged. ‘I wanted to help. But it seems all I do is make everyone angry.’ He looked at her kindly, without judgment. ‘You’re not a bad person. You’re tired. And very anxious.’ She sighed. That felt like the truth. ‘I’m scared for my daughter,’ she said. ‘She’s so different after giving birth. And him…’ she waved a hand. ‘It’s like he doesn’t even notice.’ ‘And do you notice what he does?’ asked the vicar. Anna Petrovna thought. She remembered last week, when he quietly washed the dishes late at night, thinking no one noticed. Or on Sunday, when he took the pram out for a walk, even though it was clear he just wanted to lie down and sleep. ‘He does things… I think,’ she said uncertainly. ‘But not the way he should.’ ‘And what is “the way he should”?’ asked the vicar calmly. Anna Petrovna wanted to answer right away, but suddenly realized she didn’t know. In her head: more, more often, more attentively. But specifically what, she couldn’t say. ‘I just want it to be easier for her,’ she said. ‘Then say that,’ the vicar responded gently. ‘But say it to yourself, not to him.’ She looked up at him. ‘What do you mean?’ ‘I mean that right now, you aren’t fighting for your daughter—you’re fighting with her husband. And fighting means tension. Everyone gets tired of that. You. Them.’ Anna Petrovna was silent for a long time. Then she asked: ‘So what should I do? Pretend everything’s fine?’ ‘No,’ he said. ‘Just do what helps. Not words, but actions. And not against anyone, but for someone.’ On the way home, she thought about this. Remembered how, when her daughter was little, she didn’t lecture her but just sat beside her when she cried. Why was it different now? The next day she showed up without warning. Brought soup. Her daughter was surprised, her son-in-law awkward. ‘I won’t stay long,’ Anna Petrovna said. ‘Just came to help.’ She watched the children while her daughter slept. Left quietly, without saying a word about how hard things must be or how they ought to live. A week later, she came again. And a week after that. She still saw her son-in-law wasn’t perfect. But she began to notice other things too: how carefully he lifted the youngest, how he tucked a blanket around her daughter at night, thinking no one saw. One day, she couldn’t help herself and asked him in the kitchen: ‘Is it hard for you right now?’ He looked surprised, as if no one had ever asked him that. ‘It’s hard,’ he said after a pause. ‘Really hard.’ And that was it. But after that, something sharp disappeared from the air between them. Anna Petrovna realized: she’d been waiting for him to change. But what needed to change was herself. She stopped discussing him with her daughter. When her daughter complained, she didn’t say, ‘I told you so.’ Just listened. Sometimes she took the children so her daughter could rest. Sometimes she called her son-in-law to ask how he was. It wasn’t easy. It was much easier to get angry. But slowly, the house grew quieter. Not better, not perfect—just quieter. Without the constant strain. One day her daughter said: ‘Mum, thank you for being with us now, not against us.’ Anna Petrovna thought about those words for a long time. She realized something simple: peace isn’t when someone admits they’re wrong. It’s when someone is the first to stop fighting. She still wished her son-in-law was more attentive. That wish didn’t go away. But living alongside it was something more important: wanting peace in the family. And every time the old feelings came up—indignation, bitterness, the urge to say something sharp—she asked herself: Do I want to be right, or do I want life to be easier for them? The answer almost always told her what to do next.
MOTHER-IN-LAW
Margaret Brown sat in her kitchen, watching as the milk quietly simmered on the hob. She’d forgotten to stir it three times already, and each time she’d realised too latefoam rose, spilled over, and she would wipe the stovetop with irritation. At moments like this, it felt painfully obvious: it wasn’t really about the milk.
After her second grandchild was born, it seemed as if the whole family had gone off track. Her daughter grew tired and withdrawn, barely spoke, losing weight each week. Her son-in-law came home late, ate in silence, sometimes heading straight to the bedroom. Margaret saw all this and wondered, how could anyone leave a woman alone like this?
She tried talking. At first, softly, then with more urgencyfirst to her daughter, then to her son-in-law. But the strangest thing happened: after her words, things didnt get better. They got heavier. Her daughter defended her husband, her son-in-law grew darker, and Margaret herself went home every time with the feeling that shed somehow made things worse.
One day, she went to the vicar, not seeking advice so much as having nowhere else to carry these feelings.
I must be a terrible person, she admitted without meeting his eyes. I keep getting things wrong.
The vicar paused in his writing at the desk.
Why do you think that? he asked gently.
Margaret shrugged. I tried to help. But all I seem to do is make everyone cross.
He looked at her carefully, without a trace of sternness. Youre not a terrible person. Youre simply exhausted. And very worried.
She sighed, recognising the truth.
Im scared for my daughter, she confessed. Shes changed so much since the baby was born. And him he acts as if he hasnt noticed.
And do you notice what he does? the vicar asked quietly.
Margaret hesitated. She suddenly remembered seeing him washing dishes late at night, when he thought no one was watching. She recalled him pushing the pram on Sunday, though he looked ready to drop with sleep.
He does I suppose, she said uncertainly. But not the way he should.
And how should he? the vicar asked, calm as ever.
Margaret wanted to answer at once, but realised she didnt know. Her head was full of vague ideas: more, oftener, more kindly. But specific things? Harder to define.
I just want things to be easier for her, she said softly.
Say that to yourself, the vicar replied, barely above a whisper. Not to himto yourself.
She looked up, puzzled.
How do you mean?
You’re not fighting for your daughter right nowyoure fighting against her husband. And fighting means tension. It exhausts everyone: you, and them.
Margaret sat quietly for a long while. Then she asked, So, what do I do? Pretend everythings fine?
No, he said. Just do what helps. Not with words, but with actions. Not against someonebut for someone.
Walking home, Margaret pondered all this, remembering how, when her daughter was little, she wouldnt lecture her if she cried; she’d simply sit nearby. Why was it different now?
The next day, she arrived at their house unannounced, bearing a pot of soup. Her daughter seemed surprised, her son-in-law uncomfortable.
Im not stopping long, Margaret said. Just here to lend a hand.
She played with the children while her daughter napped. She slipped away quietly, saying nothing about how difficult things were, or how they ought to live.
A week later, she visited again. And then again the next week.
She still saw that her son-in-law was far from perfect. But now, she started to notice other things: how gently he picked up the baby, how he tucked a blanket over her daughter in the evening, thinking nobody noticed.
One afternoon, unable to help herself, she asked him in the kitchen, Are you finding things tough just now?
He looked startled, as if no one had ever asked.
Yes, he admitted after a long pause. Very.
Nothing more was said. But after that, something sharp and brittle between them quietly faded from the air.
Margaret understood then that shed been waiting for him to change. But perhaps, shed needed to begin with herself.
She stopped discussing him with her daughter. When her daughter complained, she no longer replied, I told you so, but simply listened. Sometimes, she took the children so her daughter could rest. Occasionally shed ring her son-in-law and simply ask how he was doing. It wasnt easy; anger was an easier path.
Slowly, though, the house quieted. Not bettercertainly not perfectbut quieter, without constant tension.
One day, her daughter said, Mum, thank you for being with us now, not against us.
Margaret thought about those words for a long time.
She realised something simple: peace in a family doesnt come when someone admits blame; it comes when someone is first to lay down their arms.
She still wished her son-in-law was more attentive. That hope never quite left her. But right alongside it now lived a more important wish: for calm and kindness in the family.
And every time the old feelingsfrustration, resentment, the urge to snapstarted to rise, she would quietly ask herself: Do I want to be right, or do I want them to have it easier?
And almost always, she found her answer.
