The Mother-in-Law: Tales of Family Ties and Tension

Victoria Sinclair never lets a secret stay hidden. If something is tucked away from her, she will sniff it out, snatch it, and unleash a storm. She can get anyone to hand it over.

John, where did you put my slippers?

Theyre in the left pocket.

Not here, Emily said, digging in the pocket.

Look again.

Theyre not there.

Emily and John were set to fly to Emilys mothers house for a visit. Victoria, Emilys motherinlaw, knew about the trip and, to their relief, had already left for the day. The inspector who would have checked their suitcases was off with a friend.

Then were on our own. Mom will have her slippers somewhere. We should head out.

Just then Victoria swept in. She inspected the hall, where two suitcases lay on the floor as if a race had taken place.

What are you two up to? she demanded, placing a heavy grocery bag on the dresser.

Emily, busy tying the laces on threeyearold Milos shoes, gave John a chance to speak with his mother.

We told you, Mum, John said, Emily mentioned yesterday that were taking Milo to see his other grandmother for a week. Hes three now, but hes only ever seen her in photographs.

Emily lifted Milos hood. Yes, Victoria, Ive missed my mum. Milo needs a change of scenery and a chance to meet his granny, who also wants to see her grandson.

Victorias eyes narrowed as she recalled a vague remark about a visit to a mothers house, assuming Emily would go alone.

Seeing a grandchild on video is fine, Victoria hissed, but that wont do. I thought youd travel without Milo. Ill let John go, but Milo is too small for such a long journey. Youre taking my grandson abroad without my sayso. That should have been discussed first.

They had discussed it; she simply hadnt listened.

John clutched Emilys elbow as she tried to answer, then shot back, Whats there to argue about, Mum? Were not sending him to space. Well be there a week, spend time with my family, and Milo will be with us. Well be back straight awayjust as we said.

I see no need to haul a child that far, Victoria replied.

Its a meeting with my mother, Emily snapped, her tone sharper than Johns usually polite one.

Itll grow up, then theyll meet.

Were leaving now.

Victoria seemed impenetrable.

Ireland? Your mother lives there, got married there, right? I cant approve that. Its far! What if Milo falls ill? Do you have a good doctor there? Here Milo sees Dr. Anne Smith, whos stood the test of time and me. Will you trust a stranger in a foreign land? No, send him with me.

She had said this a hundred times, as if she doubted even Johns own son.

Emily tried again. Victoria, were not newborns. My mother knows many reputable doctors; she worked in a hospital herself. Well call you every day, send photos, and be back in a week. Dont make a tragedy of this.

John echoed, Yes, Mum, dont worry. Everythings under control. If anything goes wrong well call right away and come back.

Victoria fell silent, weighing their words.

Fine, she spat through clenched teeth, but you must call daily, and I expect to speak to Milo myself. If anything goes awry, youre back immediately.

They hurried away, eager to leave the danger zone.

The flight went smoothly. Milo sulked at first but behaved admirably after that. Emily, however, seemed deflated.

Whats with the sighs, love? Tired? her own mother asked, handing her a towel for the dishes. The guests had already departed, drinks were finished, and John and Milo were already asleep.

Just feeling drained, Emily muttered.

How did you get on with your motherinlaw? her mom asked, nearly dropping a glass.

Couldnt get a word in, Emily answered. Were like cats and dogspolite on the surface, but the tension never leaves. She trembles over Milo, doesnt trust us. If she could, shed raise him herself.

Her mother soothed, Dont make it worse. Shes probably struggling to accept a new person. You and your granny are chatty, we clicked fast, but some people are closed off. If shes nervous about the grandson, thats actually a sign she loves him. Dont fight her; itll sort itself out.

Emily didnt argue, but the potential for a clash lingered.

Back in London, Emily decided to return to teaching literature at the local school. She wanted to get back to people, hoping that working outside the house might ease the tension with Victoria and bring in some money.

The question of childcare for Milo arose.

Whats that advertisement? John asked.

A private nursery. Ive found a place for Milo. I want to start work again.

Emily, who had just served Victoria a vinaigrette, slapped her forehead. I should have prepared Mum first!

Victoria, ever swift, fired back, Nursery? At two years? Why not send him to work? Hes practically grown! Who will look after him?

The nursery staff will, Emily replied.

You sent me to a nursery at two, John reminded.

I had no choice! Victoria snapped. I raised you alone; I needed to work. Times were different then. Who inspects these private nurseries now? They just turned three flats next door into a nursery! Are those conditions proper?

Emily stayed quiet, even though that was the very nursery they were considering.

A long debate followed. Emily argued that Milo would benefit from socialising, gaining independence, as many families do. John supported her, citing the necessity of work and Milos readiness.

He needs peers, Emily said.

He needs his mother! Victoria shouted. You should stay with him.

For how long? Until hes eighteen?

Until five at least.

Youre giving me a hard time, Victoria. You sent John to a nursery at two; my mum sent me at one and a half. Did your generation ever stay home until school?

Victoria replied, I never saw my own mother not working. Thats why I think its wrong to pull a child away from his mother. We all went to clubs and parks unsupervised as kids. Ill look after him myself!

The argument ended with Victoria winning. Emily put her job on hold and stayed home with Milo.

The life of a motherinlaw became an endless loop of commands, advice, and criticism. Victoria controlled everything: what Milo wore, ate, slept, and where they went.

One evening, watching Victoria peel a banana for Milo, Emily snapped.

John, help is great but theres a limit.

Whats wrong?

My mothers suffocating us with her overprotectiveness. She snatched the banana from Milos hands and gave him mush instead. He wanted the whole fruit! Hes two, he can eat it! She wont let him.

Tell her to stop.

Go and tell her, Emily shrugged, She doesnt even listen to you. We tried living with her; its impossible. We need to move.

I know, love, John said, Its hard for me too. But if we leave, shell never calm down. Shell call, show up, even stay the night. Better to endure the threebedroom flat than a tiny studio.

Emily pressed on, Then what?

John thought, Lets wait a bit. Milo will grow, shell relax, maybe we can move later.

The situation barely changed. Victoria kept the reins, and Emily kept battling despair. She wanted a normal relationship but felt ready to run away without looking backif only she could convince John.

John, how do those shoes look with this lipstick? Emily teased.

On Friday, Emily and John were heading to friends Mark and Sarahs house, who had a child Milos age, hoping for a night out.

Higher than any praise, John muttered.

Victoria was glued to the television, bingewatching her favourite series, but she heard the sounds of packing and grew wary.

Mum, were going to Mark and Sarahs, John announced, pulling on his coat, Milo will go with us, let him play with Liam.

Good, at least some peer interaction, Emily whispered.

Victoria interjected, Why bring a child? Itll be noisy, therell be crowds He needs to sleep, not wander at night.

John sighed, bracing for another lecture on proper upbringing.

Mum, let him mingle with other kids. Since you wont let us send him to a nursery, at least let him have a night out, he pleaded.

What are you tired of?

Everything! Emily shouted.

Enough, Mum. Well take him to the party, return by nine, John said.

Ill keep calling you at eight, make sure hes home! Victoria warned. He must be in bed by eight!

Emily, sensing the evening would be ruined, promised to call and return on time. Milo played happily and fell asleep in the playroom, no worse than at home. Night fell, but Emily and John lingered.

Victoria, as promised, watched the clock, then the phone rang repeatedly. John finally silenced it.

John, please, just one evening, Emily begged before the line went dead, Ive remembered what life is supposed to be like.

Im not going back yet. Milos asleep. Lets stay a bit longer.

Morning started badly. Victoria, ignoring Emily and John, ate breakfast alone in her bedroom.

Mum, are you seriously upset over this?

Did someone say something? she snapped, pushing John away.

Total silence.

Emily didnt apologisethere was nothing to apologise for. Theyd visited friends occasionally, Milo was fine. Then strangers arrived. John opened the door; Emily could only hear their footsteps.

Two women in crisp suits entered.

Good afternoon, one said, flashing an ID, Were from Childrens Services. We need to inspect the living conditions.

John tried to block them, Emily prepared to protest, but Victoria shouted, Its my flat, come in! Youll see how terrified I am for my grandson. Drunks wander around, theyll take him, feed him poorly. A child who doesnt sleep isnt safewhat do you think?

The officers listened politely, then examined the flat, spoke with Milo.

We see everythings in order, the lead officer said, You might consider a calming tea, maam. Youre taking this too personally.

When they left, Emily snapped, John, hold me, I cant take this! John gripped her shoulders, Did you really report us? Just because we spent an evening at friends?

Victoria, still angry, replied, I did everything right. You cant raise your son. Youre both irresponsible. Theyll take him, and Ill become his guardian. Hell finally have a proper life, not drunken nights. I love him, you just want to dump him.

What are you talking about? Emily shouted.

Im right! Victoria defended herself.

Emily seized Milo and rushed to the bedroom.

John, pack our things. Were not staying here any longer.

Emily Mum was terrified yesterday, she lost control

Emily said nothing more about her mother.

Im moving to Manchester, she announced, Dads flat is empty. Are you coming, or staying with her?

John stayed silent.

She gave him an hour, then left. She packed essentials for Milo, called her father, told him the plan, and waited. John never answered.

Emily and Milo stood on the Manchester station platform. A week had passed since they arrived.

Someone rushed up from behind, covering Emilys eyes.

John! she gasped, seeing a bouquet of roses.

Forgive me, he whispered, I should have listened. Mum cant live without us, but I cant live without you.