The Wedding Was a Week Away When She Told Me She Didn’t Want to Get Married: Everything Was Already …

It was many years ago now, but I still remember the week before the wedding. Everything had been arranged the venue in Bath was booked, the paperwork complete, the rings bought, and even part of the family celebration had been paid for. I had spent months meticulously planning everything.

Throughout our relationship, I truly believed I was doing the right thing. I worked full-time and each month put aside about a fifth of my wages for her for her hairdresser, or manicures, or simply whatever she fancied. Not because she didnt work; she had her own income and spent it as she pleased. I covered the costs because I felt, as a man and a partner, it was my duty. I never asked for her to pay the bills. I paid for our outings, for the restaurants, the cinema, the little getaways everything.

The year before the wedding, I did something rather grand I suggested we take her entire family to the seaside. Not just her parents and brothers but her nieces and nephews, even two cousins, and their families. There were a fair number of us. To manage it, I put in extra hours at work, stopped buying things for myself, and saved for months. When we finally went, I covered the accommodation, transport, meals the lot. She seemed happy, and her family were grateful. No one suspected that, for her, it all meant nothing.

When she finally told me she wanted to end things, she explained that I had been “too much”. That I demanded too much affection, too much attention, too much closeness. That I always wanted to embrace her, to write to her, to know how she was. That she had always been more reserved, and that I was smothering her. She said I was expecting things she simply couldnt give.

She also said something shed never mentioned before that she had never wanted to marry. She only accepted my proposal because I had pressed so much. That by involving her parents, I had made her feel cornered. I had proposed in a restaurant with her family present; to me, it was a beautiful gesture, but for her, it was a trap. She felt she couldnt refuse in front of them all.

Five days before our civil ceremony, with everything ready, she sat me down and told me the truth. She explained that it felt as though I was foisting a life upon her that she had never wished for. That I had done too much, leaving her feeling awkward, indebted, and bound. She preferred to leave rather than go through with something that never felt like her own choice.

After that conversation, she left. There were no raised voices, no attempts at reconciliation, no effort to fix things. All that remained were the contracts, the paid invoices, the dashed plans, and an annulled wedding. She stood firm in her decision. That was the end of it all.

Looking back, that was the week I learned that being the man who pays for everything, does everything, and is constantly there does not guarantee that someone will want to stay by your side.