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Тільки в 40 я зрозуміла, з ким жила всі ці роки

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Ми з чоловіком прожили разом 20 років. І за всі ці роки я не могла зрозуміти, з ким живу. Коли були молоді, образи легко забувалися. Навіть велика любов до алкогольних напоїв не змусила мене сумніватися в ньому. Що ж стало останньою краплею? Брехня. Жахлива. Цинічна. Невдало запланований сценарій.

Дубль один. Напередодні Різдва.

Чоловік в цей день працював. Ми з сином були вдома. Він грався, а я весь день стояла біля плити. Вечір. Чоловіка немає і немає.

Було 19.00, коли я почала йому дзвонити. Відповів тільки в перший раз і сказав, що скоро приїде. Після цього був недоступний.

Синок заплакав. Не так він уявляв собі різдвяну ніч. «У всіх нормальні сім’ї, а у нас… Що це?» – сказав він. Мені було так прикро. Не можу навіть передати словами, що я відчувала в цей момент.

Чоловік повернувся тільки ввечері 2 січня. Сказав, що весь цей час сидів у мавпятнику. Цей «мавпятник» становив собою шикарну сауну, де він проводив час з «випадковими» знайомими. Одна з цих «випадкових» повела мого чоловіка до себе додому, де вони три доби поспіль «відзначали» свято. Шкода, що я про це дізналася потім…

Дубль два. Ми були вдома. Всі разом вечеряли. Я сказала чоловікові, що йду спати.

– Так, люба, йди. Я теж зараз прийду.

«Зараз» тривало пів години. Я була такою втомленою, що не могла дочекатися його і заснула. Прокинулася в середині ночі від звуків машини. Виявилося, що мій чоловік кудись поїхав пізно вночі. «Але куди? Які у нього можуть бути справа в таку годину? » – подумала я. Взяла телефон, стала дзвонити. Він не відповів ні на один дзвінок.

Повернувся десь о 7 ранку, обережно заліз під ковдру. Думав, що я сплю, але ні…

Дубль три. Син випадково проговорився. Сказав, що бачив у батька новий телефон. «Він його в гаражі ховає».

Пішла туди, коли він був в душі. Подивилася в машині і дійсно знайшла його 2-ий телефон. Він був досить дорогим.

Мені було образливо. Терпець урвався. Стала плакати. Потім зібралася, пішла додому. Зрозуміла, що наша історія на цьому закінчилася.

Не хочу навіть писати.

Скільки він бігав за мною, просив вибачення, як же хотів мене повернути. Мені це не потрібно. У моєму житті його більше немає. Він для мене ПОМЕР! Так, в житті моєї дитини він є, звісно. Я не буду перешкоджати їхньому спілкуванню. Але з мене досить!

 

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