Tried to Drive a Wedge Between My Son and His Pregnant Wife

Just Mum says youve become odd, James says, echoshaking the words as they hang in the kitchen of their flat in Manchester.

Ah, Mum says Elsie snorts, remembering the fresh argument that erupted over breakfast. Could her motherinlaw, Margaret, really be recounting how Elsie snapped at her after Margaret began chatting about her tragic past? Probably for the hundredth time.

Margaret, could we change the subject? Elsie asks politely but firmly.

Margaret, who has just launched into another wellworn monologue about her miscarriages, coughs angrily and looks at her daughterinlaw with bewildered eyes.

Elsie, Im only trying to support you, she says.

Thanks, I dont need support from someone whose empathy is as thin as a wafer, Elsie replies.

You just called me stupid, Margarets voice trembles as tears gather.

On any other day, Elsie would try to smooth things over. Shed probably mumble an excuse about a sudden work call or a forgotten meeting and slip out of the house. Shed invent a reason to escape Margarets endless tales of hardship, but grief is a stubborn thing, especially the kind that rearranges every part of a body during pregnancy.

By the fifth month, Elsie, once gentle and patient, feels like shes wielding a hammer. She rolls up her sleeves and asks, in a tone that sounds like a recipe, Wheres the horse and the cottage? Lets get on with fixing what we can.

What should I call you, when youve already told me three hundred times you dont want to discuss your failed parenting? she snaps.

I have a friend whos a highfunctioning autistic, she adds, He might break into a dance in a shop or miss a joke, but even he knows that bringing up such topics with a pregnant woman is sheer idiocy.

So Im not only a cunt, Im an idiot too? Thats how you treat me, and thats for my kindness? Ive never heard a kind word from you

Yes, youd have to earn those words, Elsie mutters, slamming the front door. She exhales, inhales, smiles, feeling completely satisfied.

She hopes that now Margaret will leave her alone for weeks, or better yet, forever. Hope, however, never sticks, because that clash with her motherinlaw only sparks new trouble.

James, Elsies husband and Margarets son, sits quietly at the dinner table, lost in thought. Elsie tries to chat as usual, but James answers in monosyllables, his mind clearly elsewhere.

She asks whats wrong; he just assures her everything is fine. She drops the subject. Linking his silence to the mornings argument with Margaret never occurs to her. She assumes hes swamped at work or hiding something to spare her worry.

A few days later James finally brings up a different topic. Elsie, have they ever told you about postnatal depression? It can happen to pregnant women too, cant it?

Maybe, though it isnt really postnatal yet. I dont feel depressed, do I? she says.

For your peace of mind I could see a psychiatrist, but only if you come with me and explain why you think Im slipping into depression, James replies.

Just Mum says youve become strange, Elsie repeats, echoing the earlier comment.

Ah, Mum says she mutters again, the memory of the argument flaring.

James, Ill be blunt: if anyone needs a specialist, its your mother. Do you know what she told me?

I know you two constantly fight. She thinks youre deliberately sabotaging her with advice about face masks and the wrong address

What are you on about now? Elsie asks, confused by Jamess sudden shift.

James reminds her of a mask Margaret bought a couple of weeks ago the same one Elsie had on her own shelf. Margaret claimed Elsie had suggested it, then used it and accused Elsie of steering her toward a bad product while keeping the good one for herself.

What? James, you clearly dont get our womens gadgets, Elsie snaps. If you understood, youd see the trick.

In three minutes Elsie explains that she has never used ammonia dye or a straightener, and her hair, naturally thick, could never have been the basis for recommending a mask meant for healthy hair. Margarets hair, constantly bleached and treated with a bioperm that still tears it apart, simply cant benefit from a daily care mask.

She pulls up the text exchange where she sent the correct address for a parcel to be collected from a friend of Jamess. See? I even kept the chat, she says, unlocking her phone and showing him.

Right, I see now. Sorry, I shouldnt have trusted Mum. She used to be normal, but you two fought over what?

She started telling me her grief stories again I get it, shes endured terrible loss four times in a row before you came along, but she cant keep rehashing it, especially given my own situation. Im tired of listening to other peoples problems.

You mean she kills you, James mutters, sounding like hes about to call Mum. After that conversation he returns home and tells Elsie plainly: he will no longer maintain any relationship with his mother.

Elsie feels a wave of relief. Margarets relentless, erratic behaviour finally wears her down, and any attempts to smear Elsie in front of James fall flat.

Jamess relatives keep chiding him, saying he traded his mother for another woman. He replies with disdain, My childs mother isnt a stranger; if Mums at fault, shes the one to blame. They judge based on who caused the trouble, not on blood ties. Not everyone sides with James, but he sticks to his view.

Now the only question is why his mother felt the need to pit him against his pregnant wife. The answer remains unwelcome.

Its a typical tale of a mother unwilling to share her son with another woman. She never has to share she loses the whole lot, and shes to blame, so theres no point in blaming James and Elsie.

At least let her see the baby, the relatives protest. Grandmothers only get joy from spoiling their grandchildren in old age, and a wayward son deprives her of that.

Then you shove that granny onto your grandchildren and force your spouses to tolerate her. Lets see how long your strong marriages last, James retorts.

He seems to relish the backandforth with his kin over messages. Perhaps he even regrets that after suggesting they take over caring for the grandmother, theres nothing left for the relatives but to push her out of the conversation.

James clearly sees that his mother isnt loved by his side of the family, and he now understands why things turned out this way. He cant fix it, so after a few pointed remarks urging the relatives to stay out of his affairs, he cuts off contact completely. That ends any help they might offer, and finally the loving people leave his family alone.

Their little son grows up in peace and quiet. James and Elsie do everything they can to keep that tranquility lasting as long as possible, preferably throughout his early childhood.

When school approaches, theyll teach him both how to converse and how to answer correctly to these clingy relatives.

Elsie knows shes lucky to have realized this early, before it was too late to clear away all the parasitic influences of every sort.