З життя
Ти зовсім не вмієш вести господарство! Як тебе витримує твій чоловік?” – докоряла мене мати
“Ти зовсім не вмієш вести господарство! Як твій чоловік тебе терпить?” — докоряла мені мати.
Коли моя мати, Ольга Іванівна, вирішила зробити капітальний ремонт у своїй квартирі, вона попросила пожити у нас із чоловіком на місяць. Обіцяла не втручатися в наш побут і не нав’язувати своїх правил. Я, хоч і вагалася, але погодилася — адже це моя мати.
Ольга Іванівна завжди була суворою та педантичною. З дитинства вона привчала мене й мого брата до порядку, контролюючи кожен наш крок. У її домі кожна річ мала лежати на своєму місці, і лише так, як вона вважала за потрібне. Сперечатися з нею було марно, а іноді й страшно.
Коли я вийшла заміж і переїхала до чоловіка, нарешті відчула свободу. У своєму домі я сама вирішувала, як вести господарство, і мені це подобалося. Але з приїздом матері наш звичний побут почав ламатися.
Перші кілька днів усе було спокійно. Мати дотримувалася обіцянки й не втручалася. Але на четвертий день, повернувшись з роботи, я помітила, що на кухні щось не так. Усе було переставлено, посуд і продукти акуратно розкладені за розміром і кольором.
— Мамо, що ти наробила? — спитала я, намагаючись стримати роздратування.
— Навела порядок, — відповіла вона з гордістю. — У тебе було все не на своїх місцях. Тепер як слід.
— Але це мій дім, і мені було зручно так, як було!
— Ти просто не вмієш господарювати. Я навчу тебе.
Я спробувала пояснити, що ми з чоловіком самі вирішуємо, як організовувати наш дім. Але мати лише махнула рукою, наполягаючи на своєму.
Наступного дня я дізналася, що вона викинула мій улюблений килимок у ванній, заявивши, що він «поганий і старий». Потім вона дібралася до документів чоловіка, розібравши їх на свій лад. Моє терпіння добігало кінця, але я мовчала, аби не загострювати ситуацію.
Все вибухнуло, коли ми з чоловіком повернулися й застали матір за розбором нашої шафи у спальні. Її навіть не збентежило, що випрасувані сорочки чоловіка валялися на підлозі.
— Мамо, що ти робиш? — скрикнула я.
— Прибираю твою шафу. Ти ж не вмієш нормально складати речі. З тебе господарка нікудишня. Не розумію, як твій чоловік тебе виносить, — відповіла вона, не припиняючи копатися в нашому одязі.
Чоловік, зазвичай стриманий, не витримав:
— Ольго Іванівно, зберіть речі. Я відвезу вас у готель. Маріє, подзвонь та замови для мами номер.
Мати мовча з речами пішла. Пізніше вона надіслала повідомлення з вимогою вибачень. Але я розуміла — не можу вибачатися за те, що захищала свій дім і свою родину.
Цей місяць став для мене випробуванням. Я усвідомила: межі в стосунках із батьками важливі, особливо коли йдеться про власну оселю та родину. Любов і повага мають бути взаємними, і ніхто не має права порушувати встановлений у сім’ї лад.
Why Does It Matter Who Looked After Gran? By Law, That Flat Should Be Mine! — My Mum Argues With Me Over My Grandmother’s Home My Own Mother is Threatening to Sue Me — All Because My Gran’s Flat Went Not to Her, or Even to Me, But to My Daughter. Mum Claims It’s Unfair, Insists the Flat Should Be Hers. But Gran Made a Different Choice. Why? Perhaps Because My Husband and I Lived With Her and Cared for Her Those Last Five Years. You Could Easily Call My Mum Selfish — Her Needs Were Always Far More Important Than Anyone Else’s. Mum’s Been Married Three Times, But Only Had Two Daughters: My Younger Sister and Me. We Get On Brilliantly, But Neither of Us Has a Great Relationship With Mum. I Don’t Even Remember My Dad — He Split From Mum When I Was Two. Up Until I Was Six, I Lived With Mum at Gran’s. For Some Reason, I Thought Gran Was Awful — Probably Because Mum Was Always Crying. Only When I Grew Up Did I Understand: Gran Was Good, She Just Wanted to Help Her Daughter Make a Better Life. Later, Mum Married Again and We All Moved In With My Stepfather. That’s When My Sister Was Born. But After Seven Years, Mum Got Divorced Again. This Time, We Didn’t Go Back to Gran’s. Stepfather Went Off to Work and Let Us Stay in His Flat for a Bit. Three Years Later, Mum Married Husband Number Three and We Moved In With Him. He Wasn’t Pleased Mum Had Children, Though He Never Hurt Us — He Just Ignored Us. So Did Mum. She Was Obsessed With Her New Husband, Always Jealous, Always Causing Rows and Breaking Crockery. Once a Month Mum Would Start Packing, But Stepfather Always Talked Her Round. My Sister and I Got Used to It and Stopped Noticing. I Ended Up Looking After My Sister — Mum Didn’t Have the Time. Thank Goodness for Our Grandmothers, Who Helped Us So Much. Eventually, I Left for University, and My Sister Moved In With Gran. Our Dad Always Supported Her; Mum Would Call Us Only at Christmas. I Accepted Mum For Who She Was and Stopped Expecting Her to Care, But My Sister Never Did. She Was Always Hurt, Especially When Mum Skipped Her School Leavers’ Party. We Grew Up. My Sister Got Married and Moved Away. I Was Living With My Long-Term Boyfriend; We Visited Gran Often and Stayed Close, Though I Tried Not to Be a Nuisance. When Gran Fell Ill and Went Into Hospital, I Visited Every Day: Shopping, Cooking, Cleaning, Chatting, Making Sure She Took Her Medicine. Sometimes My Boyfriend Helped Out Too. After Six Months, Gran Suggested We Move In to Save for Our Own Place, So We Did. Six Months Later, I Was Pregnant. We Got Married, Had a Simple Family Do — Mum Didn’t Come, Not Even a Phone Call. When My Daughter Was Two Months Old, Gran Broke Her Leg. Caring for Both Was Hard and I Desperately Needed Mum’s Help, But She Refused, Saying She Wasn’t Well and Would Come Later. She Never Did. Six Months On, Gran Had a Stroke and Was Bedridden. If Not for My Husband, I Don’t Know How I’d Have Coped. Gran Slowly Improved, She Even Got to See Her Great-Granddaughter Take Her First Steps, and Lived Another Two-and-a-Half Years. She Passed Away Peacefully in Her Sleep. My Husband and I Were Devastated By Her Loss. Mum Only Came for the Funeral. A Month Later, She Tried to Evict Me So She Could Have the Flat. Mum Hadn’t Realised Gran Had Left It to My Daughter Right After She Was Born. Naturally Mum Was Furious, Demanding I Give Up the Flat or She’d Sue Me. “Look How Deceitful You Are! You Duped the Old Woman, Took Her Flat, And Now You Live In It Yourself! You Won’t Get Away With This! It Doesn’t Matter Who Looked After Gran — That Flat Should Be Mine!” But Mum Won’t Get That Flat, I Know That for Certain. I’ve Spoken to a Solicitor and a Notary. We’ll Stay in the Home Gran Gave Us, and If Our Second Child Is a Girl, She’ll Be Named After Gran.
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