Connect with us

З життя

Устала от ожиданий совершенства

Published

on

В шумной Москве, где суета сливается с ритмом жизни, мои 27 лет кажутся идеальными лишь со стороны. Меня зовут Аня, я работаю маркетологом в крупной компании, замужем за Дмитрием, у нас нет детей, но есть мечты и планы. Вчера, выйдя с работы, я села в машину, заехала на заправку, схватила сумку и направилась в туалет. Там я переоделась, накрасилась и вышла такой нарядной, что прохожие невольно оборачивались. Но за этим безупречным фасадом скрывается усталость: я устала быть примерной женой, дочерью и невесткой, и теперь мне нужно понять, как жить для себя.

**Жизнь, похожая на картинку**

Я всегда была «правильной девочкой». В школе — круглая отличница, в институте — стипендиатка, на работе — та, кто сдаёт проекты раньше срока. Дмитрий, мой муж, айтишник, любит меня и гордится мной. Мы женаты три года, живём в уютной «двушке», дважды в год выбираемся за границу. Мои родители и свекровь, Ольга Петровна, считают нас идеальной парой. «Анечка, ты у нас такая умница, везде успеваешь», — хвалит мама. «Дима, тебе с такой женой повезло», — поддакивает свекровь. Но никто не видит, как я задыхаюсь под грузом этих ожиданий.

Моя жизнь — череда обязательств: утром готовлю завтрак, чтобы Дмитрий был сыт, днём выкладываюсь на работе, вечером убираюсь и стряпаю ужин, чтобы свекровь не упрекнула, что я «не справляюсь». Даже на заправке вчера я надела элегантное платье и навела марафет, потому что ехала на семейный ужин, где надо было выглядеть «как надо». Люди оборачивались, но я чувствовала себя актрисой, играющей роль идеальной Ани.

**Маска, которая начала спадать**

Вчерашний вечер стал последней каплей. За столом у свекрови я, как всегда, помогала на кухне, улыбалась, кивала. Но когда Ольга Петровна бросила: «Аня, пора бы уже о ребёнке подумать, годы-то идут», — внутри что-то надорвалось. Я не готова к детям, хочу пожить для себя, но все ждут от меня «правильных» решений. Дмитрий промолчал, и я поняла: он не станет моей защитой. Позже мама добавила: «Дочка, не затягивай, мне внуков хочется». Даже на работе коллеги подкалывают: «Ну что, Аня, когда в декрет?»

Я устала. Устала, что мои успехи меряют не моими победами, а тем, насколько я вписываюсь в чужие рамки. Устала перевоплощаться на заправке, чтобы соответствовать. Устала улыбаться, когда хочется плакать. Я люблю Дмитрия, но его молчание, когда на меня давят, ранит. Я хочу быть собой, а не той Аней, которая всем угождает.

**Страх оказаться настоящей**

Подруга Катя советует: «Аня, скажи им, что тебе нужно время». Но как? Если перестану готовить ужины или осмелюсь возразить свекрови, она решит, что я плохая жена. Если признаюсь маме, что не готова к детям, она расстроится. Если скажу Дмитрию, что устала, он удивится: «Ты же всегда со всем справлялась, что случилось?» Боюсь, что, сняв маску идеальной Ани, останусь одна — без поддержки, без одобрения, без привычной роли.

Но вчера, глядя в зеркало на заправке, я увидела красивую, но чужую женщину. Эта Аня в платье и с безупречным макияжем — не я. Я хочу носить кеды, а не шпильки, хочу вечер без плиты, хочу сказать: «Я не готова, и это моё право». Но как это сделать, не разрушив всё?

**Как найти себя?**

Я не знаю, с чего начать. Поговорить с Дмитрием? Но он считает, что я «накручиваю себя». Поставить границы с роднёй? Но страшно их ранить. Уехать одной, чтобы разобраться в себе? Покажется эгоизмом. Или дальше играть роль, пока не сломаюсь? Хочу жить так, чтобы не переодеваться на заправке ради чужих взглядов, но хватит ли мне духа?

В 27 лет я хочу быть не идеальной, а настоящей. Свекровь, возможно, желает добра сыну, но её давление душит. Мама мечтает о внуках, но её мечты — не мои. Дмитрий, наверное, любит меня, но его молчание делает одинокой. Как найти себя? Как перестать жить для всех, кроме себя?

**Крик души**

Эта история — мой крик о праве быть собой. Я устала от маски, которую ношу, чтобы угодить другим. Хочу, чтобы мой дом был местом, где можно носить кеды и не краситься, где мои желания не менее важны, где не надо оправдывать чужие надежды. В 27 лет я заслуживаю жить для себя, а не для одобрения свекрови, мамы или коллег.

Я — Аня, и я найду в себе силы сбросить эту маску, даже если ради этого придётся пройти через непонимание. Пусть этот шаг будет страшным, но я больше не хочу прятаться в туалете на заправке, чтобы превратиться в ту, кем меня хотят видеть.

**Жизнь — не спектакль, и играть чужую роль вечно невозможно.**

Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Ваша e-mail адреса не оприлюднюватиметься. Обов’язкові поля позначені *

вісімнадцять − дванадцять =

Також цікаво:

З життя7 години ago

I Will Always Be With You, Mum: A Heartfelt Story You Can Believe Grandma Valerie couldn’t wait for evening to come. Her neighbour Natalie, a single woman approaching fifty, had just confided something so astonishing that Valerie’s head was spinning. To prove her point, Natalie had even invited her round later to show her something remarkable. The story began quite simply. That morning, Natalie had dropped by as she was on her way to the shop: “Is there anything you need, Valerie? I’m popping to the corner shop to pick up bits for a pie and a few other things.” Valerie smiled. “You’ve always been so good and caring, Natalie. I remember you as a little girl. It’s a shame things haven’t worked out for you—but you never seem sad or complain, not like some.” Natalie laughed. “What’s there to complain about? I do have a man I love, it’s just we can’t be together for now. Would you like to hear the reason? I’ve never told anyone else, but I want to tell you. Well, partly because you probably wouldn’t be believed if you repeated it!” She grinned. “Just let me know if you need anything from the shop. I’ll pop in on my way back, and over a cup of tea, I’ll tell you all about my life. Maybe then you’ll be happy for me and stop worrying.” Valerie didn’t really need anything, but asked Natalie to fetch a loaf of bread and some sweets for tea, her curiosity well and truly piqued. Later, as they sat together over tea and cake, Natalie began: “Valerie, you remember that thing that happened to me twenty years ago? I was nearly thirty. Met a bloke—nice enough, so I thought I’d marry him even if I didn’t love him. At least I’d have a family. He moved in and I got pregnant. When the baby came, a little girl, she lived just two days and passed away. I thought I’d go mad with grief. My husband and I split up soon after. A couple of months later, once I’d stopped crying, something happened. It’s hard to explain, Valerie. I’d got everything ready for my daughter—the cot, bedding, toys, the lot. They say it’s bad luck to buy these things early, but I didn’t believe that. Then one night I was woken by the sound of a baby crying. I thought I was imagining it, but the crying came again. I went to the cot—and there she was. My little girl. I picked her up, my heart nearly bursting with happiness. She looked up at me and then drifted peacefully to sleep. And from then on, almost every night, she would come to me. I even bought formula and a bottle, but she hardly ever fed—just smiled, closed her eyes and slept in my arms. Is that even possible?” Valerie leaned forward, utterly enthralled. “I know it sounds mad, but it’s true,” Natalie insisted. “It just went on—we got used to those nightly visits. I knew my little girl was living in another world, with her own mum and dad, but she never forgot me. She would visit, and one night she said to me: ‘I will always be with you, Mum. We are bound by an invisible thread, and nothing can ever break it.’ Sometimes I wonder if it’s a dream, but she even brings me gifts from her world. They don’t last long here though—they fade away like snow in spring.” That evening, Valerie finally visited Natalie’s flat. No one else was home—just the two of them. Suddenly, a gentle light shimmered in the air and a sweet young woman appeared: “Hello, Mummy! I’ve had such a good day, I want to share it with you. And here’s a present for you.” She placed a small bouquet on the table. Turning to see Valerie, she smiled again. “Oh, hello! Mum said you wanted to meet me. I’m Marianne.” After chatting a while, Marianne faded away like morning mist. Valerie sat silent, absolutely stunned. “Well, I never… that really happens!” she whispered. “Your daughter’s a beauty, Natalie, just like you. I’m so happy for you. You really are a lucky woman—maybe luckier than anyone I know. I would never have believed it if I hadn’t seen it myself. Thank you for opening my eyes. The world is so much bigger than I thought; life goes on everywhere. I’m not afraid anymore.” The flowers on the table became paler and then vanished altogether. But Natalie smiled, full of hope. Tomorrow would be a wonderful new day. She was going to meet Arkady, the man she loved and who loved her back—she just knew it. And someday soon, she’d introduce him to the two people she loved most in the world: Marianne and Arkady.

Ill always be with you, Mum. A story you might believe Granny Margaret waited for evening with restless curiosity. Her...

З життя7 години ago

The Friend I Sold: Grandpa’s Tale of Loyal Companionship, Hard Times, and a Hard Lesson Learned

A Sold Friend. Granddads Story And he understood me! It wasn’t fun, and I realised it was a foolish idea....

З життя8 години ago

The Closest of Kin: A Heartwarming Family Story of Grandparents Anna and Paul, Their Three Wonderful Grandchildren, Home-Baked Treats, Maths Lessons, and the Unbreakable Bonds That Sustain Them Through Joys and Sorrows

Family Ties. A Story Funny, how life turns out. It could have all been so different. The neighbour, Mrs. Dawson,...

З життя8 години ago

I Did a DNA Test and Instantly Regretted It I Had to Marry My Girlfriend After Finding Out She Was Pregnant. After Our Wedding, We Moved in With My Parents Because We Couldn’t Afford Our Own Place. Time Went By and I Became the Dad of a Wonderful Little Boy. Soon After, We Decided to Get a Mortgage and Start Our Own Family Home. After a While, My Wife Told Me She Was Pregnant Again, and That’s How Our Princess Anna Was Born. The Kids Grew Up Quickly, and Each Year I Noticed They Didn’t Look Like Me at All—not even a little. In Fact, Neither My Son nor My Daughter Looked Like Their Mum Either. Both Were Ginger with Freckles—Where Did That Come From in Our Family? The Thought Crossed My Mind to Take a Paternity Test. Maybe It Wasn’t the Brightest Idea, But I Needed to Be Sure the Kids Were Mine. I Took the Test. I Had to Wait Two Weeks for the Results. As Soon As They Called, I Rushed to the Lab. Thank God—It Turned Out I Was Their Dad. I Went Home and Hid the Documents So My Wife Wouldn’t Find Them. But Why Didn’t I Just Throw Them Away? I Paid for That Mistake. Just a Few Days Later, My Wife Threw Those Papers in My Face. She Caused Such an Uproar the Whole House Trembled. I Understand Why, But Surely There Was a More Peaceful Way to Handle It. She Couldn’t Forgive Me, and Now I’m Alone. Five Years Have Passed Since That Day, and She Still Won’t Let Me See the Kids. That’s How Simple Curiosity Stole the Most Precious Thing I Had—My Family. I Hope One Day She Can Forgive Me…

I remember those days as if they happened in another life. Back then, when I learned my sweetheart was expecting,...

З життя9 години ago

Don’t Leave, Mum: An English Family Story

Common wisdom says you cant judge a book by its cover. But Barbara Smith thought that was nonsenseshe was sure...

З життя9 години ago

A Grandson’s Request: An Uplifting Story of Trust, Family, and a Grandmother’s Unwavering Support

Request from my Grandson Gran, I need a favour. I really need some money. A lot. He came to me...

З життя10 години ago

She Was Never Truly Alone: An Ordinary London Morning with Grandma Violet, Filly the Cat, and Loyal Gav the Dog

She Was Never Alone. A Simple Story A slow winter morning dawned over London. Out in the communal courtyard, caretakers...

З життя10 години ago

No One Left to Talk To: A Story “Mum, what are you saying? How can you say you’ve got no one to talk to? I call you twice a day,” her daughter asked wearily. “No, sweetheart, that’s not what I meant,” Nina Anderson sighed sadly. “I just don’t have any friends or acquaintances left who are my age. From my time.” “Mum, don’t talk nonsense. You still have your school friend Irene. And honestly, you’re so modern and you look much younger than you are. Oh, Mum, what’s wrong?” her daughter fretted. “You know Irene has asthma; when she talks on the phone she starts coughing. And she lives all the way on the other side of the city. There were three of us friends, remember I told you? But Mary’s been gone for a long time. Yesterday, Tanya from the flat next door popped in. I made her a cuppa—she’s a lovely woman, often drops by. She even brought over some buns she’d baked for her family. She told me about her children and grandchildren. She’s got grandchildren, even though she’s about fifteen years younger than me. But her childhood, her memories—they’re so different from mine. I just long for a chat with peers, people like me,” Nina Anderson explained, though she realised perfectly well that her daughter wouldn’t understand. She was still young. Her time wasn’t gone—it was just outside the window. She didn’t yet yearn for memories. Sveta was wonderful and caring; it wasn’t about her. “Mum, I got us tickets for a night of classic ballads on Tuesday. Remember you wanted to go? No more sulking—put on your burgundy dress, you look stunning in it!” “All right, darling, everything’s fine. I don’t know what came over me, good night, we’ll speak tomorrow. Go to bed early—you hardly get any sleep,” Nina changed the subject. “Yes, Mum, goodnight. Bye,” and Svetlana hung up. Nina Anderson gazed silently at the glittering evening lights outside… Year Eleven, also spring. So many plans. It seemed so recent. Her friend Irene fancied Simon Mallory from their class. But Simon liked Nina. He’d call her every evening, invite her out. But Nina thought of him as just a friend—why raise his hopes? Later Simon left for the army. He came back, married, lived in Irene’s old house. Back then everyone had a landline. The number… Nina Anderson dialled the number from memory. The tone didn’t come at once—then someone picked up, there was rustling and then a quiet man’s voice: “Hello, I’m listening.” Maybe it’s too late? Why did I call? Maybe Simon doesn’t even remember me, or maybe it’s not him at all! “Good evening,” Nina’s voice rasped a little with nerves. There was more static on the line, then suddenly she heard an astonished voice: “Nina? Is that really you? Of course it is. I’d know your voice anywhere. How did you find me? I’m only here by chance….” “Simon, you recognised me!” A wave of joyful memories swept over Nina Anderson. No one had called her by her name for ages—just “mum”, “granny”, or “Mrs Anderson”. Well, except Irene. But just “Nina” sounded so wonderful, so fresh—as if the years hadn’t passed at all. “Nina, how are you? I’m so glad to hear from you.” Those words made her ridiculously happy. She’d feared he wouldn’t recognise her, or her call would be out of place. “Do you remember Year Eleven? When Simon and Victor took you and Irene out in that rowing boat? He’d blistered his hands on the oars and tried to hide it. Then we ate ice cream on the riverside while the music played,” Simon’s voice was soft and wistful. “Of course I remember!” Nina laughed joyfully, “And that class camping trip? We couldn’t get the tins open, we were so hungry!” “Oh yes,” Simon chuckled, “Then Victor opened them and we sang songs by the campfire. Do you remember? After that, I decided to learn the guitar.” “And did you?” Nina’s voice rang with youthful delight at all these shared memories. It was like Simon was reviving their happy past, recalling detail after detail. “So, how are things now?” Simon asked, but immediately answered himself, “Actually, I can tell from your voice you’re happy. Children, grandchildren? You still writing poems? I remember: ‘To dissolve into the night and be reborn by morning!’ So full of hope! You always were like sunshine, Nina! You bring warmth to everyone, no one could be cold around you. Your family’s so lucky—to have a mum and granny like you is pure gold.” “Oh, come off it, Simon, I’m long past that. My time’s over, I—” He interrupted. “Come on, you give out so much energy I think my phone’s about to melt! Just kidding. I don’t believe you’ve lost your zest for life—not a bit. That means your time isn’t over yet, Nina. So live—and be happy. The sun shines for you. And the breeze chases clouds across the sky for you. And the birds sing for you!” “Simon, you’re still such a romantic. What about you? I’m going on and on about myself…” But suddenly there was a crackle and the call cut out. Nina sat there, phone in hand. She wanted to ring back, but it was late—better not. Another time. What a wonderful chat they’d had—so many memories! The sudden ringtone made Nina jump. Her granddaughter. “Yes, Daisy, hello, I’m still up. What did Mum say? No, my mood’s fine. I’m going to a concert with Mum. Are you coming over tomorrow? Wonderful, see you then. Bye.” In an unexpectedly good mood, Nina Anderson went to bed, head full of plans. As she drifted off, she found herself composing lines for a new poem… In the morning, Nina decided to visit Irene. Just a few stops on the tram—she wasn’t a creaky old nag yet. Irene was delighted: “At last! You’ve been promising for ages. Ooh, is that an apricot tart? My favourite! Well, spill, what’s brought this on?” Irene coughed, pressing her hand to her chest, then waved Nina’s concern away. “It’s all right, new inhaler—I’m better. Come on, let’s have tea. Nina, you look younger somehow—come on, tell me!” “I don’t know—my fifth youth!” Nina laughed as she sliced the tart. “Yesterday I rang Simon Mallory by accident… remember your crush in Year Eleven? We got to reminiscing—I’d forgotten half of it. What’s up, Irene? Not another asthma attack?” Irene sat pale and silent, then whispered: “Nina, you didn’t know? Simon passed away a year ago. He lived in another part of town—he moved from that old place ages ago.” “You must be joking! How? Who was I talking to? He remembered everything about our school days. My mood was terrible before talking to him. But after we spoke, I felt life was carrying on—that I still had strength, and joy for living… How could it be?” Nina couldn’t believe Simon was gone. “But I heard his voice. He said such beautiful things: ‘The sun shines for you. And the breeze chases clouds across the sky for you. And the birds sing for you!’” Irene shook her head, sceptical of her friend’s story. Then she surprised Nina by saying: “Nina, I don’t know how, but it really does sound like it was him. His words, his style. Simon loved you. I think he wanted to support you… from the other side. And it looks like he did. I haven’t seen you so happy and full of energy for ages. One day, someone will piece your tattered heart back together. And you’ll finally remember—what it feels like to be… simply happy.”

No one to even have a chat with. A Reminiscence “Mother, honestly, what are you talking about? How can you...