З життя
Відвідавши її дім, я розчарувався й одразу залишив її
Втратив зацікавленість у своїй обраниці, я вирішив розлучитися з нею одразу після візиту до її оселі.
Тринадцять років тривав мій шлюб, і моя колишня дружина ніколи не була класичною красунею. У молодості вона підкорила мене своєю тендітністю, ніжністю, якоюсь невловимою м’якістю, яка чіпляла душу. Не можу сказати, що вона була приголомшливою, але вміла себе подати. Дорога мереживна білизна, якою вона себе балувала, полиці у нашій ванній, заповнені кремами, парфумами, оліями та косметикою — все це було її світом. Флаконів і баночок було так багато, що я губився в їх кількості, але вона завжди пахла, як квітковий сад. Обоє ми добре заробляли, жили в достатку, і вона могла дозволити собі ці маленькі розкоші.
Моя колишня ніколи не дозволяла собі ходити по дому в розтягнутих речах — її волосся завжди було вкладене, одяг — випрасуваний. Мені подобалися такі жінки: доглянуті, що знають свою ціну. Але доля розпорядилася інакше — п’ять років тому ми розійшлися, і відтоді моє життя стало низкою скороминущих зустрічей. Жінки з’являлися і зникали, не залишаючи сліду, допоки я не зустрів її — Оксану. Вона була, наче з іншого світу: красива, приваблива, з витонченими рисами обличчя і впевненою ходою. Вона легко керувала чоловічим колективом на роботі, що мимоволі викликало моє захоплення. Я вирішив: таку не можна втратити.
Все почалося з невинних розмов, але незабаром я запросив її до себе у квартиру в Києві. Не став готувати — замовив вечерю з ресторану, але стіл накрив сам, вклавши в це душу. Вечір пройшов чудово: вино, сміх, довгі погляди. Оксана залишилася у мене на ніч і з того часу стала частою гостею. Але що частіше вона приходила, то більше мене бентежила її поведінка. Вона ніколи не приносила з собою ні косметички, ні змінного одягу, ні білизни. Вранці я бачив її у жахливому вигляді: розмазані тіні, скуйовджене волосся, втомлене обличчя. Після душу вона надягала ті ж речі, що й у попередній день, і це завдавало мені болю очам. Чесно кажучи, я був розчарований до глибини душі.
Одного разу Оксана запросила мене до себе. Я йшов з думкою, що побачу хаос — її звички у мене вдома натякали на недбалість. Але коли я переступив поріг її квартири, мене охопив шок. Переді мною відкрилася не безладність, а… щось зовсім інше. Усередині був свіжий ремонт — стильний, дорогий, з якісними меблями і модними деталями. Все вказувало на смак і достаток. Але коли я зайшов у ванну помити руки, моє серце стиснулося від суму. На полиці стояли лише шампунь і зубна паста. І все. Ні натяку на розкіш, ні на турботу про себе. Я згадав свою колишню — її полиці тріщали від флаконів, ванна благоухала ароматами, і це було для мене проявом жіночності, самоповаги. А тут — порожнеча.
Оксані недавно виповнилося 33, але, здавалося, вона навіть не замислилася, як зберегти молодість. Невже її не лякають зморшки, в’януча шкіра? Я стояв, дивлячись на цю бідну полицю, і відчував, як усередині наростає розчарування. Але справжній удар чекав на балконі. Там, на мотузці, сушилася її білизна — сіра, проста, без натяку на витонченість. Вона помітила мій погляд і недбало кинула: «Для мене головне — зручність». Ці слова прозвучали як вирок.
Можливо, у свої 42 я став надто вимогливим? Можливо, мої звички, мої очікування — це тягар минулого, який я не можу скинути? Але я зрозумів: з такою жінкою я жити не зможу. Ми розлучилися — я сам поставив крапку. Пішов, не озираючись, з важким серцем, але з упевненістю, що не зможу прийняти цю пустоту там, де чекав побачити красу і турботу. Оксана була чарівна зовні, але всередині її дому я побачив лише байдужість до себе — і це вбило все, що могло між нами бути.
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I Will Always Be With You, Mum: A Heartfelt Story You Can Believe Grandma Valerie couldn’t wait for evening to come. Her neighbour Natalie, a single woman approaching fifty, had just confided something so astonishing that Valerie’s head was spinning. To prove her point, Natalie had even invited her round later to show her something remarkable. The story began quite simply. That morning, Natalie had dropped by as she was on her way to the shop: “Is there anything you need, Valerie? I’m popping to the corner shop to pick up bits for a pie and a few other things.” Valerie smiled. “You’ve always been so good and caring, Natalie. I remember you as a little girl. It’s a shame things haven’t worked out for you—but you never seem sad or complain, not like some.” Natalie laughed. “What’s there to complain about? I do have a man I love, it’s just we can’t be together for now. Would you like to hear the reason? I’ve never told anyone else, but I want to tell you. Well, partly because you probably wouldn’t be believed if you repeated it!” She grinned. “Just let me know if you need anything from the shop. I’ll pop in on my way back, and over a cup of tea, I’ll tell you all about my life. Maybe then you’ll be happy for me and stop worrying.” Valerie didn’t really need anything, but asked Natalie to fetch a loaf of bread and some sweets for tea, her curiosity well and truly piqued. Later, as they sat together over tea and cake, Natalie began: “Valerie, you remember that thing that happened to me twenty years ago? I was nearly thirty. Met a bloke—nice enough, so I thought I’d marry him even if I didn’t love him. At least I’d have a family. He moved in and I got pregnant. When the baby came, a little girl, she lived just two days and passed away. I thought I’d go mad with grief. My husband and I split up soon after. A couple of months later, once I’d stopped crying, something happened. It’s hard to explain, Valerie. I’d got everything ready for my daughter—the cot, bedding, toys, the lot. They say it’s bad luck to buy these things early, but I didn’t believe that. Then one night I was woken by the sound of a baby crying. I thought I was imagining it, but the crying came again. I went to the cot—and there she was. My little girl. I picked her up, my heart nearly bursting with happiness. She looked up at me and then drifted peacefully to sleep. And from then on, almost every night, she would come to me. I even bought formula and a bottle, but she hardly ever fed—just smiled, closed her eyes and slept in my arms. Is that even possible?” Valerie leaned forward, utterly enthralled. “I know it sounds mad, but it’s true,” Natalie insisted. “It just went on—we got used to those nightly visits. I knew my little girl was living in another world, with her own mum and dad, but she never forgot me. She would visit, and one night she said to me: ‘I will always be with you, Mum. We are bound by an invisible thread, and nothing can ever break it.’ Sometimes I wonder if it’s a dream, but she even brings me gifts from her world. They don’t last long here though—they fade away like snow in spring.” That evening, Valerie finally visited Natalie’s flat. No one else was home—just the two of them. Suddenly, a gentle light shimmered in the air and a sweet young woman appeared: “Hello, Mummy! I’ve had such a good day, I want to share it with you. And here’s a present for you.” She placed a small bouquet on the table. Turning to see Valerie, she smiled again. “Oh, hello! Mum said you wanted to meet me. I’m Marianne.” After chatting a while, Marianne faded away like morning mist. Valerie sat silent, absolutely stunned. “Well, I never… that really happens!” she whispered. “Your daughter’s a beauty, Natalie, just like you. I’m so happy for you. You really are a lucky woman—maybe luckier than anyone I know. I would never have believed it if I hadn’t seen it myself. Thank you for opening my eyes. The world is so much bigger than I thought; life goes on everywhere. I’m not afraid anymore.” The flowers on the table became paler and then vanished altogether. But Natalie smiled, full of hope. Tomorrow would be a wonderful new day. She was going to meet Arkady, the man she loved and who loved her back—she just knew it. And someday soon, she’d introduce him to the two people she loved most in the world: Marianne and Arkady.
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