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Вишукана жінка середніх років ретельно обирає м’ясо на ринку.

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Зінаїда Петрівна, красива і доглянута жінка років п’ятдесяти, прогулялась базаром, вибираючи вирізку. Її супроводжувала незнайома дівчина, яка здавалася значно молодшою. В цій дівчині все було “надто”: надто довгі вії, надто яскравий макіяж, занадто коротка спідниця… Чоловіки, що проходили повз, ледве контролювали свої погляди: частина з них повертала голови слідом за нею, інші, які йшли з дружинами, могли лише тихцем кидати погляди.

Дівчина неодноразово намагалася заговорити з Зінаїдою Петрівною, та врешті наважилась:
– Зінаїдо Петрівно, мені потрібно з вами поговорити. Справа в тому, що ваш чоловік і я… загалом, ми з ним зустрічаємось…
– Та ви що кажете! – вічливо, але трохи відсторонено відповіла вона, розглядаючи м’ясо на прилавку. – Як вас звуть? Ах, Лариса… Ларочко, ви в м’ясі розбираєтеся? Як думаєте, це свіжа вирізка? Не розумію, чи це яловичина, чи телятина…
– Вибачте, – зніяковіла дівчина. – Мені здається, ви не зрозуміли…
– Любонько, попри вік, у мене немає ані склерозу, ані втрати слуху. Ви – коханка мого чоловіка, і вам потрібно зі мною поговорити. А я такої потреби не відчуваю. Ні, це все ж не телятина… Будь ласка, зважте мені цей шматок. Дякую, скільки з мене?

Розплатившись, вона помітила розгублену Ларису поруч. Дівчина, вражена незвичайним поводженням суперниці, м’ялася на місці. Зінаїда Петрівна подивилася на годинник:
– Ну, добре. Я все одно збиралася зайти в кафе – тут печуть чудові тістечка. Хочете, там і поговоримо.

Після кількох ковтків кави, Зінаїда Петрівна звернулась до Лариси:
– То про що ви хотіли поговорити?
– Відпустіть Миколу, він нещасливий з вами! – випалила дівчина вже заготовлену фразу. Зінаїда Петрівна округлила очі і розсміялася:
– Це що, Микола вас на це настрену? О, ви самі вирішили! Я так і думала… Ну, знай, любонько, – вона лагідно усміхнулася, – Микола ніколи від мене не піде. Чому? Саме тому, що я його не тримаю. Не вірите? Переконайтеся самі. Але застерігаю: щойно ви почнете давити на нього, він втече від вас, як уже бувало не раз.

– Т-то як… – Лариса ковтнула каву і закашлялася. – Як це «вже бувало»!?
– Ларочка, дитинко, ви ж, здається, розумна дівчина! Ви не думаєте ж, що Микола жив зі мною, лише чекаючи зустрічі з вами?
Лариса почервоніла: вона саме так і думала. Зінаїда Петрівна продовжила, ніби нічого не помітила:
– Ви… Боже, пам’ять… чи третя, чи четверта… чи навіть п’ята підходите до мене з подібним. Не засмучуйтеся так! Звісно, він обіцяв вам золоті гори й казав, що ви найкраща, єдина, неповторна… Казав? Ось бачите! Не вірте чоловічим компліментам, Ларочко. Насолоджуйтеся ними, але ніколи не вірте.

Лариса була зовсім приголомшена.
– Зінаїдо Петрівно, а вам… Невже вам не образливо?
– Як вам сказати… з одного боку, звісно, образливо: зрада є зрада. А з іншого – навіть приємно знати, що мій чоловік ще ого-го! І я засвоїла одну істину: чоловіка слід тримати на досить довгому поводку, щоб він не відчував себе на припоні. До речі, дарма ви не їсте тістечко, – зазначила вона, відкушуючи шматочок кремової трубочки. Дієта, так? Даремно. Ви позбавляєте себе такого задоволення! Вашій фігурі нічого не загрожує, а голодний блиск в очах жінки її не прикрашає, повірте моєму досвіду. Ну, удачі я вам, звісно, не бажаю, бо в неї не вірю, – вона підвелася, допивши каву. – Зустрічатися з вами більше не хочу, тому – прощайте.

Микола Юхимович повертався додому з недобрими передчуттями. Після істерики, влаштованої Ларисою, на хороший прийом вдома годі було чекати. Він знову згадав море сліз і з роздратуванням насупився. Якби жінки знали, як вони робляться непривабливими від сліз, ніколи б не плакали. При чоловіках. Червоні очі, розмита туш, напухлий ніс… б-р-р-р!

Підійшовши до дверей своєї квартири, Микола Юхимович глибоко вдихнув, подумки перехрестився і увійшов, прикриваючи голову папкою. Його передбачливість виявилася не зайвою: синя чашка вдарилася об дверний косяк поруч з його головою і розлетілася на веселі блакитні скалочки по передпокою.
– Негідник! – кричала дружина, кидаючи один за одним предмети з кавового сервізу на шість персон у бік чоловіка. – Підлець! Розпусник! Старий цабе! Хто два місяці тому клявся, що це востаннє? – Зінаїда Петрівна вміло грала роль розгніваної дружини, проте чутливе вухо чоловіка вловило в її словах ноту нещирості, ніби вона лише грала (хоча й дуже вдало) цю роль. Дочекавшись затишшя, Микола Юхимович визирнув з-за свого “щита”. Жінка стояла з останньою чашкою в руці, з легким жалем розглядаючи біло-блакитні осколки на підлозі.

– Зінусю, любонько… – почав чоловік, обережно просуваючись у бік дружини. – Ну, клянусь, це був най-найостанній раз! Ну, ти ж у мене розумниця, ти все розумієш! Сивина в бороду… Ну, пробач!
– Негідник! – Зінаїда метнула в чоловіка останню чашку, не влучила, але не витримала і розсміялася. – Нестерпний ти! Старий псяка!
– Старий, та не дряхлий! – Микола вже обіймав жінку, цілуючи її в шию.

Зінаїда відштовхнулася. – Ні, Миколо, я кажу серйозно: припиняй! Або ти розберешся з сивиною у своїй бороді сам, або я доберуся до твого ребра і виганю всіх бісів, що засіли там, – і вона виразно кивнула на стіну кухні, прикрашену набором декоративних качалок.

Вранці примирені подружжя збиралися на роботу. Те, що сталося напередодні, було для них своєрідною традицією, способом освіжити відносини.
Зінаїда Петрівна фарбувалася перед дзеркалом. Микола Юхимович чистив черевики. Він кілька разів намагався щось запитати, але не наважувався. Зінаїда все бачила у дзеркалі:
– Ну, хотів щось запитати? Я ж бачу, як тебе розпирає. Про свою Ларочку, правда? Ні, личко я їй не торкалася, як Верочці, – вона посміхнулася, –а от фігуру… Закладаюся, вона зараз тістечка їсть без обмеження. Я, коли виходила, бачила як вона вчепилася в тістечко, ніби тиждень не їла… Ну і, звісно, твоя Лара розтовстіє некращим чином, у неї серйозна схильність до повноти. А мені доведеться зробити додатковий розвантажувальний день, – вона перейшла на серйозний тон. – Правда, Миколо, досить! Мені набридло. Я цього більше терпіти не має наміру.
– А що буде наступного разу? Сковорідки чи супові миски?
Зінаїда не відповіла в тон чоловіка і подивилася на нього дуже суворо:
– Ні те, ні інше. Око за око, зуб за зуб. Зрада на зраду…

– Зінусю, не варто так жартувати, – Микола виглядав стурбованим.
– Ніяких жартів. Я сказала – ти почув. Тобі важко лише від однієї думки, уяви на мить, яково мені?

Біля під’їзду подружжя розійшлися в нормальних відносинах, обмінявшись поцілунками, вони пішли у різні боки, кожен на свою роботу. Зінаїда Петрівна на ходу витягла мобільник і, озирнувшись, набрала номер: – Дімочка? Це я.

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