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We’re Moving Into Your Flat — Polly’s got a brilliant flat in the city centre. Freshly renovated—can’t ask for more! — It’s a lovely place for a single woman, — Rustam smiled patronisingly at Inna, as if she were a child. — But we’re planning to have two—maybe even three kids, one after another. It’s noisy downtown—not enough air, no parking. And most importantly, there are only two rooms. Here? You’ve got three. Quiet street, nursery right outside. — The neighbourhood is really good, — agreed Sergei, still unsure where his future son-in-law was leading. — That’s why we chose to settle here. — Exactly! — Rustam snapped his fingers. — I keep telling Polly: why should we cram ourselves in, when there’s a perfect solution? There’s three of you—including your daughter—and honestly, this place is far too big. What do you need all this space for? You don’t even use one of your rooms; it’s just storage. It’d suit us perfectly. Inna tried to squeeze the vacuum cleaner into the tiny hallway cupboard… * * * After five years of peaceful family life and a fair inheritance split—Sergei got his gran’s spacious three-bed in a quiet part of town, his sister Polly got a two-bed in the central “Golden Triangle”—Olya and her fiancé Rustam arrive with big news: They’re getting married and have come up with a “fair” proposal: “We’re moving in here, and you can go live in Polly’s flat.” What follows is a tense family standoff, as Rustam insists they swap homes for his future family’s “perspective,” dismissing Inna’s work from home and the couple’s daughter’s routines. Loyalty, inheritance, entitlement, and family bonds are all thrown into the mix as battle lines are drawn—and even Polly starts doubting where her loyalties should lie. We’re Moving Into Your Flat: When Family Drops By With an Unbelievable Proposition and One Pushy Fiancé Tries to Swap Your Life Out From Under You
Were Moving Into Your Flat
Emilys got a fantastic flat right in central London. Its practically spotlessmove in and start living the dream!
Its a great place for a single girl, Tom remarked to Jane with a patronising smile, as if explaining taxes to a particularly daft cat. But were planning on having twomaybe even three kids. Quick succession, bam-bam-bam.
Centrals noisy as a motorway, the airs thick, theres nowhere to park. And its only two bedrooms. Here youve got three, a lovely peaceful street, and a nursery right in the garden square.
It is a nice area, agreed David, still baffled about where this was going, although his future son-in-laws tone was doing nothing for his digestion. Thats why we put down roots here, after all.
Exactly! Tom snapped his fingers. I keep telling Emilywhy struggle in a shoebox when theres a perfectly good solution at hand?
The three of you have oceans of space, what do you need it for? Lets be honest, you never even use the third bedroom. Just sacks and boxes in there. Itd suit us down to the ground.
Meanwhile, Jane was valiantly trying to jam a hoover the size of a modest estate car into the worlds skinniest cupboard.
The hoover resisted bravely, the hose snagging on coat hangers, absolutely refusing to submit to the tiny shelf.
Dave, a bit of help, please! she called towards the living room. Either the cupboards shrunk or Ive completely lost the knack for packing.
David poked his head out from the bathroom, where hed just lost a battle with the dripping tap.
Calm and always just a fraction behind the action, he was almost the negative of his more energetic wife.
Dont panic, Janey-love. Pass it over.
He took the great beast from her with one easy manoeuvre and wrestled it into a corner of the cupboard like an Olympic gymnast with a grudge.
Jane exhaled, leaning on the door frame.
Can you tell me why we never have enough space? Its a big old flat, three bedrooms, but start tidying and its as if the furnitures multiplying rabbits.
Thats because youre a collector, David grinned. Weve got three dinner sets, and we only use one at Christmas and Easter.
Oh, let them stay. Its Grans old place, after alllittle bit of family history.
After their wedding, Davids parents split the inheritance straight down the middle: he got this spacious three-bed in a leafy Victorian terrace, their grandmothers, and his sister Emily scored a two-bed, but smack in the heart of the city.
The value was about the same. Five years of happy families, no bickering, not a whiff of jealousy.
Jane, naive as an unplugged kettle, thought itd always be that way. But
***
The house was finally more or less tidy. They flopped onto the sofa, switched on the telly, andbefore theyd even agreed who was making the teathe doorbell rang.
David pulled himself up.
Sis and her fiancé have landed, he remarked to his wife, peering through the spyhole.
Emily fluttered in first, cheery as a blue tit. Tom ambled after, heavy-footed and grave.
Jane had only met him a handful of times. Emily had dragged him home from a spin class six months ago.
She didnt take to Tom from the offhe seemed pompous, a bit too pleased with himself. He looked at everything and everyone as though he were shopping for antiques and found them all faintly disappointing.
Hey! Emily kissed her brothers cheek and hugged Jane. We were in the area, thought wed pop in. News!
Well, since youve gone to all the trouble, said David, waving them into the kitchen. Hop in, fancy a cuppa?
Just water for me, Tom rumbled, following him in. We need a serious chat, Dave.
So much for just passingthey clearly had a mission. Jane felt uneasy at once; Toms tone always put her on edge. What now?
Out with it, sighed David, sitting down.
Emily had already vanished into her phone, letting Tom do the heavy lifting.
Tom cleared his throat.
Well, heres the situation. Emily and I have given noticewere getting married in three months. Ive got big plansa proper family, happy and all that. So we were thinking about our living arrangementsand, well, were proposing a swap. Us in here, and youin Emilys flat!
Jane nearly dropped her mug in shock. She looked at her husband, then at Emilybut Emily was deep in her Instagram feed, as if she was in someone elses drama entirely.
Tom, Im not sure what you mean, David frowned.
I mean, lets make a practical trade. You move into Emilys place, we take this one. Simple.
Emily agrees completely. We both think its only fair.
Jane was now officially gobsmacked.
Fair? she echoed, scarcely believing her ears. Are you serious, Tom? You rock up to our house and suggest we up sticks because you fancy more bedrooms?
No need to get all emotional, Jane, Tom said, wrinkling his nose. Im just being realistic. Youve got one child, and as far as I know, youre not planning more.
So why keep all this extra space? Its just not practical. Whereas weve got growth potential.
Oh, growth potential! Jane shot up. Dave, are you listening to this?
David held up a cautions hand.
Tom, you might want to recall it was my folks who put us here. Just like Emilys flat is hers. Five years of picking our own carpets, raising our daughter, making friends, turning it into home. Youre asking us to leave all that, for your convenience?
Dont get worked up, Dave, Tom leaned back, utterly unbothered. Were family. Emilys your blood, mate. Isnt your sisters future important?
Besides, its a pretty upmarket swap. Youll be in the heart of things. In terms of money, frankly, you come out aheadI did the maths.
Well, this is rich, David smirked. Youre not even married to my sister, but youve already got your eye on her inheritance.
For the first time, Emily looked up.
Oh, stop it, both of you, she whined. Tom only wants whats best.
Well be squeezed in my flat as soon as the babies appearwed be living out of suitcases. Youve got room to host a football match in your hall, Dave. You remember what Mum always saidfamily is the most important thing.
Mum was talking about helping each other in a crisis, Emily, not evicting your own brother from his house! snapped Jane. Are you even hearing yourselfor him?
What exactly is so wrong? Emily blinked innocently. It makes sense. You dont need the spare room.
Its not spare! Jane shouted. Its my office! I work from there, remember?
Work, Tom snorted. Posting pictures online? Emily says its just a side gig. You can park yourself at the kitchen table with a laptop like anyone else, youre not the Queen.
David stood upsmooth, slow, very final.
Thats enough. Get up, both of you. Out.
Dave, mate, you cant be serious. Were just having a proper family conversation.
Proper? You turn up, angle for my flat while insulting my wife and proposing to uproot my kid? Wheres your sense of decency?
Oh, spare me the melodrama! Jane cut in. Hes had the ring two months and already divides property. Emily, do you realise youll be next on his moving list?
Dont talk about him like that! Emily cried. Toms thinking of our future!
And you two are just greedy. Hogging your precious roomssome family!
The only grabber here is your fiancé, David gestured at the door. Last warning: get out. And forget this swap, permanently. Mention it again and were done for good.
Tom stood, dusted off his sleeves, looking more peeved than embarrassed.
Fine, Dave. Was trying to be reasonable, but since youre dead set…
Emily, were going.
The door banged, and Jane sank onto the sofa, shaking.
Can you believe it? Can you actually believe it? Who raised that manpirates?
David said nothing, watching Tom outside, swaggering round his car and barking at Emily.
You know whats really rotten? he said finally. Emily honestly believes hes in the right. Always was a dreamer, but this?
Hes got her completely turned round, Jane snapped. We need to phone your mother. And your dad. They should know what their future son-in-laws plotting.
Hold on, said David, pulling out his phone. Let me ring Emily first, just her. Without Captain Entitlement beside her.
He rang. Three, four, six rings. Emily picked up, voice wobbly with tears.
Yeah? she mumbled.
Emily, listen carefullyis Tom with you?
Whats it to you?
If hes there, put me on speaker. I want him to hear this too.
Im not in the car. He dropped me off outside and drove off. Said he needed to cool down, claimed my family were a bunch of selfish numpties.
Why are you lot like this? He wants everything perfect for us…
Emily, wake up! David was beginning to shout. This wasnt perfect. He came here to worm my flat out of me! Did he even mention this brilliant plan to you before we were all in the kitchen?
Silence.
No, came her small voice after a pause. He just said he had a surprise for everyone. That hed worked out something great for us all.
Brilliant. So he decided our futures for us, didnt even bother asking. Emilyyou realise who youre marrying? Today my flat, tomorrow your cars too small, next week your parents cottage in Kent goes because the airs too country-fresh for him.
Dont say that! Emilys voice shook. He loves me.
If by love, you mean pitting us all against each other, sure. Hes driven a wedge, Em. Janes still shaking, hes made things ten times worse between all of us.
Ill talk to him, she said, uncertain.
Please do. And think, love, before you walk down the aisle.
He hung up and tossed the phone aside.
What did she say? Jane whispered.
She didnt know about the plan. Tom had a surprise cooked up. Some surprise.
Jane let out a sharp laugh.
Picture it: struts in, tells us where to live, splits up the bedrooms, hands out people like Monopoly pieces. Gives me the creeps.
Never mind, David squeezed her shoulder. Hes not getting this flat, I promise you that.
Poor Emily, murmured Jane. Shes for a right headache with that one.
***
David and Janes worst fears, in a bit of luck, didnt come to passthe wedding was off before they even got round to buying a cake.
Tom dumped Emily that very evening. She showed up at her brothers just before midnight, tear-stained and reeling.
Tom had come back, started packing before shed even finished her cup of tea.
Said he couldnt be related to such stingy people family like hers, he just didnt need.
He said youd never babysit our kids, wont lend us money, ever. And that you cant be relied on!
Jane, half appalled, half amused, bustled over.
Oh, Emmy, honestly. Youre better without him. Hed never think about family, only himself. Dont give him another thought!
Emily was inconsolable for a few months, then began to bounce back.
And later, with hindsight and a little less weeping, she wondered how she could have missed such obvious red flags.
If shed married Tom, shed have been wading through that swamp for all eternity. Turns out, fate and a stubbornly packed cupboard did her a friendly turn.
