We Should Have Got Ready for the Baby Sooner! My Return from Hospital Was a Nightmare—My Husband Didn’t Prepare Anything, the House Was a Mess, and I Was Embarrassed in Front of Our Family. Whose Fault Was It That We Weren’t Ready?

You know, I really should have got things sorted well before the baby arrived!

Ill never forget the day I left the hospital. It was honestly quite something. James, my husband, had to come and pick me up straight from his office because he couldnt get the day off. I did ask him to take a bit of leave or even just a day, but his manager wouldnt allow it. Before all this, Id kept telling him to get everything ready for when the baby came, and he promised me he would. If only wed been better organised we could have done all the washing, done that last-minute shopping, given the flat a good tidy up. But it wasnt to be! I honestly felt like a right mess, I told you all about it, didnt I?

So, did he keep his word? Not a chance.

When I went off to the hospital, I hadnt packed properly or sorted anything out at home. Coming back with the baby, the house was an absolute tip. I felt so embarrassed, especially with family turning up to see us. There was dust everywhere, honestly I could have doodled on the shelves. There was no pram, no changing tablehe hadnt even bothered to buy baby clothes. Thank goodness my friends had given me some nappies at least I wasnt completely stuck.

I married James six years ago, and now here we are, both new parents at last. Wed been putting it off for ages, waiting to feel a bit more settled and secure. Once things looked a bit brighter, I decided it was the right time.

I told my boss about being pregnant, and she sacked me right away. You know some people would have kicked up a fuss, but I just thought, well, maybe its a sign. I started getting ready for motherhood at my own pace, did a bit of embroidery, took some walks, just enjoyed having time on my hands. We didnt need much money anyway; James had just been promoted.

My pregnancy went smoothly. I lost myself in baby books, took nice long walks, and did loads of careful browsing for baby bits and pieces.

But James insisted I shouldnt buy anything until after Id given birth, saying it was better luck that way. Thats what he kept telling me. My sister promised us her old cot and a chest of drawers for the baby, and saved a few other bits here and there. She told me to pick everything up ahead of time, get it all cleaned and washed. In the end, all I did was pack my hospital bag, because James really didnt want me doing anything else.

Then the contractions startedand suddenly, reality hit James like a brick. He realised wed need all sorts and we had nothing. Right in the middle of labour, I was fretting because I hadnt even taken the washing out of the machine. So it all just sat in there until I got home.

Thank goodness for my friends, who lent me baby grows and nappiesotherwise, I wouldnt have had a thing to dress the baby in. After the birth, James was tearing round town picking up whatever baby stuff he could find. But it was all dusty, musty and covered in old stains. I had to wash absolutely everything and wait for it to dry. I was so fed up by that point I could have strangled every relative, and divorce definitely crossed my mindhonestly, I was almost in tears.

For a good few days after, I spent most of my time just cleaning and tidying. Two months have gone by since our son was bornand you know what? I still dont feel like having anyone over.

Family seem to think that enough times passed so theyre itching to pop by. Apparently Im supposed to host some big family lunch … Oh, right, as if! Theyve already given me another job to do!

My mum cant understand why Im not brimming with joy. Its obvious to her that we never bothered to get things readylike its my own fault! Nine months at home, what did she do with herself? she keeps saying. She couldve just asked James to carry the furniture in and help clean up. And surely she couldve changed his mind about shopping for the baby? She reckons if you want something done, youve got to do it yourself. Honestly, who relies on blokes for this stuff these days?

So what dyou reckon? Do you think Im in the right to feel let down by my family, or was it on me to sort things out? Should I have been more hands-on before the baby arrived? What would you have done in my shoes?