“What Do You Mean You Don’t Want to Change Your Name?” – My Mother-in-Law Shouted at the Register Office

What do you mean, you dont want to take his surname? my mother-in-law shouted across the registry office.

I never really wanted to get married at all. But at nineteen, I found out I was pregnant by my boyfriend, Tom, who Id been seeing since we were both sixteen. I felt as if I had no choice I couldnt bear the thought of my child growing up without a father.

Even though Tom was a bit older than me, he was completely immature and still clung to his mum for everything. Still, Ill give him credit he never tried to dodge responsibility. He said we should get married, and hed stand by me for the baby. So, we set about organising a wedding.

If it had been up to me, a quiet registry ceremony would have done nicely. But my relatives insisted the event had to be a grand affair. I never understood why I should spend such ridiculous amounts on a party for other people when those pounds could be so much better spent like getting things for the baby. As usual, no one listened. My mother-in-law and my own sister had already picked out the venue, the dress, even the guest list.

When they sent me off to try on dresses, I really didnt want to go. I pictured some monstrosity covered with layers of frills and sequins neither my sister nor Toms mum were known for their taste. When I dared to protest, I was labelled ungrateful and everyone was fuming. But honestly, I had far more important things on my mind: A-levels, exams, and preparing for the babys arrival.

So, when the day came, I turned up at the registry office in a simple white dress nothing fancy, but it suited me fine. And then, the drama began.

Toms family had no idea Id decided to keep my own surname. Tom himself knew he didnt mind but his mum erupted, yelling so loudly the whole room stared:
How can you not want to change your name?

I just smiled and stepped aside. Tomorrow, Id have to face the wedding party in Toms village surrounded by his entire extended family, and I needed to save my nerves. As it turned out, the marriage only lasted a few years. Tom proved a useless husband and an even worse father every weekend, hed sit glued to his computer, barely noticing either me or the baby. One day, Id simply had enough. I packed my bags and left.

Toms mum, needless to say, was appalled. But as for me I finally felt free, a weight off my shoulders. For the first time in years, I genuinely felt happy.