What does it matter who cared for Grandma! Legally, the flat should be mine! – My mum argues with me over my grandmother’s property

What difference does it make who cared for Gran? The flat, by law, ought to be mine! my mother argues with me.

My own mother is threatening to take me to court. Why? Because Grans flat didnt go to her, or even to me, but to my daughter. Mum thinks its desperately unfair. She insists the flat should have been hers. But Gran saw things differently. Most likely because my husband and I lived with Gran, looking after her for the last five years of her life.

My mother could truly be described as self-centred. Her wants and needs always mattered more to her than anyone elses. Mum was married three times but only had two children: me and my younger sister. My sister and I have always got on brilliantly. But our relationship with Mum not so much.

I barely remember my father he and Mum divorced when I was just two. From then until I was six, I lived with her at Grans. For reasons I didnt understand, I thought Gran was terribly mean. I suppose I felt that way because Mum was always in tears. But I later realised, when I grew up, that my grandmother was a wonderful person, only wanting to set her daughter back on her feet.

Afterwards, Mum remarried, and we moved in with my stepfather. Thats when my sister was born. Mum stayed with him for seven years, before divorcing again. This time, we didnt go back to Grans house. Stepdad left for work somewhere else but allowed us to stay in his flat for a while. Then, three years later, Mum married for the third time and we moved in with her new husband.

Naturally, he wasnt thrilled that his new wife came with children. He never harmed us he just ignored us. Mum did much the same, completely preoccupied with her new husband, always anxious and jealous, prone to dramatic scenes, smashing plates or threatening to leave.

Every month, like clockwork, Mum would start packing her things. But stepdad always talked her around. In time, my sister and I became so used to it we barely noticed. I ended up raising my sister myself, as Mum had no time. Thank goodness for both our grandmothers; they were our saving grace. Eventually, I moved into university accommodation and my sister lived with Gran. Our dad always supported her, and Mum only phoned us on Christmas and birthdays.

I simply accepted Mum as she was, never expecting her to care for us. But my sister took it to heart, especially when Mum didnt show for her school leavers party.

Time passed, and we grew up. My sister got married and moved away to another city. My boyfriend and I although together for a long time saw no hurry to wed. We lived together in a rented flat. I often visited Gran. We were very close, but I tried not to disturb her routine.

Then Gran fell ill and ended up in hospital, where I was told shed need lots of care. From then on, I went to see her every day taking groceries, cooking, cleaning, or just having a chat. Most importantly, I made sure she took her medication on time.

I kept this up for six months. Sometimes my boyfriend would come and help with odd jobs or tidying up. Thats when Gran suggested we move in with her to save for our own place, rather than wasting money renting.

It seemed completely natural to say yes. Gran and I had such a good relationship, and she liked my boyfriend enormously. So we moved in. Six months after that, I found out I was pregnant. We decided at once to keep the baby. Gran was overjoyed by the prospect of having a great-grandchild. We had a simple wedding, then celebrated quietly with close family at a local café. Mum didnt come, nor did she ring to congratulate me.

When my daughter was just two months old, Gran had a bad fall and broke her leg. Looking after Gran and a baby, I was desperate for help. I phoned Mum, asking for support, but she refused. She claimed she wasnt feeling well and would come later but never did.

Six months later Gran had a stroke and became bed-bound. Caring for her was exhausting if my husband hadnt helped, I dont know how Id have coped. Thankfully, eventually, Gran improved. She started to speak again, learned to walk and feed herself. She lived another two and a half years after the stroke; long enough to see her great-granddaughter toddling about. Gran died peacefully in her sleep. Her loss hit my husband and me hard; we loved her dearly and miss her every day.

Mum returned only for the funeral. A month later, she turned up determined to throw me out and claim the flat for herself. She was sure it belonged to her, not knowing that Gran had put the flat in my daughters name soon after I gave birth. Mum was entitled to nothing.

She was furious. Mum demanded I hand over the flat or shed sue us.
Just look at you! Conned the old woman out of her home and now youre living in it! You wont get away with this! Doesnt matter who looked after Gran! That flat should be mine!

But Mum wont get a penny, I know that for certain. Ive already visited a solicitor and checked everything. Were not leaving the flat Gran gave us. And if our second child is a girl, shell be named after Gran, as a tribute to the remarkable woman she was.