What kind of ruffians have been here? Call your family and have them come sort this mess out,” Lilia fumed.

What on earth happened here? Call your family and tell them to come clean up this mess, fumed Lily. Im not tidying up after them. I already do enough washing sheets every time your mates crash at our cottage. Theyve made it their second home.

Listen, Mum called earlier, her husband, James, mentioned over dinner. She and the relatives are planning a barbecue this weekend.

Good for her, Lily replied flatly. Let them go. Whats it got to do with us? She didnt bother hiding her dislike for her mother-in-law.

Well, they want to use our cottage, James explained, as if it were the most natural thing. They dont have one, and Ive got to be at the garage on Saturday. I told her we couldnt go, so she asked for the keys.

Lily had no choice but to agreea decision she soon regretted. When they visited the cottage the following weekend, she froze at the sight. The place looked like it had been ransacked.

The berries theyd picked were gone, the floors were filthy, and a lonely pot of stale soup sat on the stove. The kitchen curtain had vanished. Lily couldnt fathom what had happened. His parents were in their sixties, for heavens sake.

She let James have it.

What kind of chaos was this? Ring your lot and tell them to come sort it out, Lily snapped. Im not cleaning up after them. Im sick of washing sheets every time your friends stay over. They treat our place like a hotel.

Oh, stop fussing. Chuck it in the washing machine and hang it out, James shrugged.

How about you do it next time? Are you seriously fine with the state of our cottage?

But James didnt call anyone. Lily gave him the silent treatment before they eventually made up. Theyd only been married two yearsa love match, though lately Lily wondered if shed rushed into it. They didnt have kids yet.

Life rolled on as usualwork, home, home, work. Weekends were for walks or pub trips with friends. Everything changed when Lilys mum suddenly remarried and moved to another town. The family holiday cottage passed to Lily.

Overnight, Jamess relatives developed a sudden fondness for her. Now, someone was always angling for an invite to *their* cottage. Because, of course, barbecues taste better in the open air!

Relatives materialised out of thin air. Second cousins, great-aunts, even Jamess grandmotherall flocked to the countryside for riverside picnics and grilling. Oh, and Jamess mates, naturally.

Everyone stayed overnight. James cheerfully manned the grill. Lily was fed up but didnt want to sour relations with his family or friends. Still, something had to be done.

Now, weekends filled her with dread. When Lily and James married, his mother was already in her late fiftiesshed had him quite late. There was also his sister, Margaret, ten years older. His mum, a village woman at heart, seemed to think everything was communal property.

She and Margaret helped themselves to everything at the cottagelotions, shampoos, even Lilys slippers. Then came another call. His mother wanted the keys againthis time because Margaret was bringing her boss for a relaxing barbecue weekend.

And, as always, no one bothered asking Lily.

Well give Mum the keys, James said breezily. He remembered Lilys reaction last time but clearly hoped to avoid the topic.

Lily knew she had to actand James wasnt on her side. Running through options, she rang her own mother to vent.

Ill sort it, her mum said simply.

Twenty minutes later, she called back. Her sisterAunt Helenwould be staying at the cottage for a while. Dont worry about a thing. Shell handle it.

Lily gasped. Aunt Helen had terrified her since childhood, when summer visits left permanent impressions. Oh yes, Helen knew how to lay down the law.

That evening, Helen rang.

Whats this, niece? Keeping quiet all this time? Shouldve called me sooner. Solightly scary, or full-blown terror? she asked brightly, already chuckling at the prospect.

Lily shivered. Did you ever tell them the cottage is in your name? Helen pressed.

I dont think so. They all assume its mine.

Dont fret, love. Well sort it beautifully.

On Sunday, Jamess furious mother called. You sold the cottage?! she shrieked. Wheres the money? Why werent we told?

Turns out, Margaret, her boss, and Jamess parents had arrived to find five strangers already barbecuing on the lawn.

Who *are* you? gasped Margaret.

More to the pointwho are *you*? came Helens commanding voice as she strode forward. I own this cottage. Dont know you. Howd you get in? Whered you get those keys?

Awkward silence. Margaret babbled something about family and borrowed keys. Helen just stared until she faltered. Jamess mum wisely kept quiet.

The keys were confiscated. They were politely asked to leaveand warned against returning unless they fancied explaining how theyd gotten hold of someone elses property.

Lily could hear her mother-in-law screeching down the phone. James was baffled, too stunned to get a word in.

Give the phone to your wife, he finally muttered.

That cottage isnt yours! his mother announced grandly.

Did you ever ask? Lily kept her voice steady. Or did you just decide everythings yours, including whats ours?

Do you realise Margaret invited her *boss*? There are layoffs comingshe was trying to butter her up! If she gets sacked, thats on *you*!

How is that my problem? Aunt Helen owns the place. She came to relax. You never even asked me. Buy your own cottage if you want weekends away.

Im never setting foot there againand neither will my family, James huffed.

They had their first proper row. James sulked. Margaret got sacked. Ill never forgive you for this, he declared. My family loved you, and you deceived us.

Lily was sure Margaret had been fired for other reasons. Suddenly, she realised she didnt feel sorry for any of them. And *she* hadnt started this. Their marriage had hit a dead end.

Mum I think Im leaving James.

Your call, love. Youre grown up. Where will you live? Ive rented my flat out. You could stay with Helen.

Thanks ever so, Lily said drily. Ill rent somewhere.

She filed for divorce, moved into a flat, and stopped visiting the cottage.

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