When she saw who her husband brought home this time, his wife laughed so hard that the three kittens, startled by the commotion, ran to hide behind her legs.

Upon seeing what her husband had brought home this time, his wife laughed so uproariously that three kittens, alarmed by the commotion, scurried over and hid behind her legs. The tabby, spotting her little ones, wriggled free from the mans arms and promptly began licking them all over in a flurry of maternal affection.

Somewhere out at a strange outpost nestled beyond the city limits, there stood a cluster of ten delivery vans. Here, drivers gathered dailythere was a car park, a tea room with chipped mugs and mismatched chairs, and a curious contraption for clocking in and out, a relic from some bygone era.

Climbing into his battered Ford Transit, the man turned the key. The van grumbled and shuddered, rattling like a washing machine with spare change in its drum. Lunchtime arrived, and as he switched off the engine and made for the break room, a peculiar squeal drifted out from beneath the bonneta sort of half-whistle, half-groan, like a belt losing its grip or a ghostly fan blade scraping something unseen, though the engine lay silent.

Glancing at the lads already tucking into their sandwiches and crisps, he shrugged and went to investigate. He lifted the bonnetand nearly lost his voice. There, perched atop the fan casing, smeared with oil and looking bewildered, was the tiniest, soot-black kitten, mewling miserably.

His knees went weak as he imagined what might have happened had the kitten tumbled into the spinning machinery. Pulling himself together, he gently scooped up the little creature, snapped the bonnet shut, and sank back into the drivers seat.

Back at home, his wife set into him:

Oy, you absolute pillock! Didnt you check the car before heading out? What if youd crushed the poor thing? Next time this happens, dont even think about coming home, you hear?

He stammered his excuses, gesturing helplessly. Meanwhile, the kitten purred contentedly in his wifes arms, and was promptly whisked off to the bathroom. The sound of cooing whispers and kisses resonated from behind the door.

The man sighed deeply, lost in thought, struggling to recall when hed last elicited such tenderness from his wife. He failed, and so shuffled back to the van and work.

The next morning, wary thanks to yesterdays surprise, he opened the bonnetnothing. Dropping to his knees, he peered under the chassis. Therethere sat an orange-and-white kitten, eyes wide with hope. As he lowered himself, the kitten dashed toward him, chirping with delight. Scooping up this second foundling, he pondered how it had appeared, what he must do now. Remembering his wifes dire warnings, he turned the van homeward.

Yet, this time, his wife didnt scold him. Instead, she gave him a nod of appreciation and declared, In twenty years, this might be your first sensible act. Well done! She carried the second kitten off for its bath, the first trailing after.

The mans day sparkled. He felt confident and oddly jubilant. By evening, the family dined as a quartettwo kittens chose his wife as their champion, clambering over her lap, scratchy and boisterous; she laughed as brightly as she had when she was young. That laugh was why he had fallen for her, long ago.

At dawn, the man approached his van warily once again. He kneltand found a third kitten, grey with markings like clouds. He rescued this new arrival.

That evening, his wife led him to a palm-reading mystic, a spiritualist with wild hair and thick glasses. She examined him and declared: Two enchantments, three curses and the evil eye! This will take a month and five hundred pounds to fix.

The next morning, he feared the van. He smoked nervously, rallied himself, then peered beneath the chassis. There, staring back, sat a grown grey cat, her belly sagging with obvious motherhood.

What now? he sighed, resigned. What mistake have I made this time?

He opened the cab door, and the cat hopped in gracefully.

When he carried the mother cat home, his wifes laughter rattled the rafters, sending the kittens scrambling behind her knees in a panic. The mother spotted her children, wriggled free, and started cleaning them thoroughly.

The man stood transfixed, as if observing some mystical ritual for the first time.

Whats she up to? he asked his wife, bewildered.

She grinned. Why, havent you twigged yet? Shes sorted her kittens, and now shes sorted herself as well.

His wife bent to stroke the mother cat and shook her head, marveling. Never seen anything like it, in all my days. Takes special feline thinking for such a scheme.

Towards weeks end, she announced, Youre off fishing. The mans jaw dropped, eyes wide as saucers.

Go on, then, she insisted, Im inviting the girls. Keep out of our way, alright?

Alright he muttered, uncertain whether to cheer or mourn this twist of fate. But his opinion didnt matter in these circumstances.

Before he left, she kissed him, declaring, I always knew you were wonderful.

He stepped onto the porch, gazing about. My word, how splendid it all is! he whispered. Why hadnt I noticed before?

Birds sangnot just outside, but somehow inside him, too.

His wifes friends began to arrive, each bringing bottles of bubbly and trays of sausage rolls. Once gathered, the mother cat claimed centre stage atop the tablecloth. The ladies poured champagne and raised their glasses:

To the wise mistress who found a place for her childrenand herself!

No one could remember what the next toast was for. The cat stretched out, half-closed her eyes with supreme contentment; she knew she was loved, she knew she belonged.

Three kittens dozed on the sofa, snuggled together, breathing softly.

So, the lesson is this: a simple toast.

Health to clever womenand to their husbands, blessed with the fortune to live beside them.

And may it be so for all of you.