“You Never Really Loved Me—You Married Me Without Love, and Now You’ll Leave Me When I’m Ill… ‘I Won…

You never really loved me, did you? You only married me because you had to. Now youll leave, now Im ill…

I wont leave you! said Charlotte, wrapping her arms around James. Youre the best husband I could have wished for. Im not leaving you for anything…

He almost didnt believe her. James was really feeling down.

Charlotte had been married for twenty-five years, and somehow, men always took a shine to her. Even as a girl, she was the one everyone wanted to date.

I mean, honestlyeven at school, practically all the lads were after Charlotte. And the funny thing was, she was never a stunning beauty.

Despite everything, Charlotte never left her husband, even though he could be a difficult character at times.

No, she stayed with Philip until the very end. They raised their daughter, got her married off. Her son-in-law whisked Sarah off to Spain, and now they sent lovely photos and begged her to visit. Somehow, Charlotte and Philip just never made the trip Maybe shell go someday. Philips time, though, had come.

Charlotte lost her husband in a car crash. Such a ridiculous loss but later she was told it was likely hed felt unwell behind the wheela sudden heart problem, maybe became disoriented and just crashed.

Perhaps he fainted? she supposed.

Well never know now, sighed her friend, Helen, who happened to be a GP. The cause? Multiple injuries, fatal.

Charlotte was in shock. Helen helped sort out all the arrangements and found out as much as she could from her contacts. They buried Philip, and Charlotte was left alone in the big house they had built together all those years.

For two people, the house was just rightespecially with guests. But when youre on your own For a woman, it suddenly felt huge. Overwhelming, even.

A home needs a mans touch sometimes.

Sarah flew home to say goodbye to her father. She brought up selling the house, maybe getting a flat, and even moving in with them in Spain.

Absolutely not! said Charlotte. I didnt build this house just to flog it off. And your SpainIve seen it, thank you very much.

Mum!

Oh, youre clueless, Sarah! Charlotte managed a teary smile. Im only joking.

If youre joking, then maybe things arent as bad as they seem.

It was all very complicatedjust like Philip himself. On one hand, he was loving and caring. On the other, he could be a real handful; in his bad moods, hed drive Charlotte up the wall. Hed always apologise, though, and Charlotteever easy-goingnever held a grudge. That was their life for twenty-five years! Enough to send anyone round the twist…

Sarah stayed for a bit, but her husband was busy working and she had to get back to her own family. Charlotte was left alone again.

But, knowing herself, she figured it wouldnt be for long.

And she was right. She mourned for six months, but, suddenly, when she wiped away her tears, she discovered a small fan club of admirers had already sprung up around her.

Even Charlottes mum used to wonder about this uncanny appeal Charlotte had.

What do men see in you? Honestly, they flock to you like moths to a flame! Youre not even a classic beauty or am I missing something?

Youre sweet, Mum. Charlotte would smile, putting on her lipstick. Looks mean nothing, theyre just surface. A womans charm and character are what count. A bit of wit helps, too.

Get on with you, girl, her mum would laugh. Your suitor will get tired of waiting and leave!

Someone elsell turn up, Charlotte would shrug, not bothered in the least.

Nearly thirty years after that conversation with her mum, nothing had changed! Women still moaned there were no available men, especially after forty. Charlotte never understood that problem. Even at forty-six, she somehow ended up with two keen suitorsboth of them decent.

Her heart leaned towards Matthew. She fancied himenjoyed talking with him, too. He was smart, interesting, and always presentable.

But Matt was really only good at talkinghe could charm your socks off. Charlotte, perhaps, loved him with her ears rather than her heart. With age and experience, though, she knew he wasnt a partner for lifenot for her big, bustling house.

The other man, James, was a proper, down-to-earth bloke. The sort who could sink a few pints on occasion, but everything he touched seemed to workhe was handy, strong, had a good heart, with a quiet confidence underneath.

With his wife, hed be gentle as a lamb, but if needed, hed move mountains for her. Oddly, Charlotte liked James less. Foolish, reallyjust that typical female contradiction.

James wasnt one for grand declarations. Sober, he was almost silent, but after a few drinks, hed let loose a joke or two, might share a story, and carry on a conversation just fine.

He really could drink, but next morning hed douse himself in cold water and just get on with it. Not the chatty type, but he got things done. In the end, Charlotte chose him.

Matthew sulked that his sugar-coated speeches hadnt worked and disappeared.

Charlotte married James, and he was over the moon. He had far too much to drink at the wedding, belted out the songs and danced like nobody was watching.

Blimey, Charlotte, Helen grinned. Its barely a year since Philip passed, and here you are, married again. I swear, most women couldnt find a decent man if their life depended on it, and you, you just step out your front door!

Youll be asking, What do they all see in you? Youre not even a beauty!

I wont say that, Helen laughed, but you have always had this suspiciously strong appeal, Ill give you that.

I couldnt tell you what they see in me, Helen. Go ask my mother!

Charlotte winked, then went off to dance with her new husbandhed come to claim her for the next song. She danced, any remaining doubts slipping away with every turn.

So what if James was a bit ordinary? He was strong, capable, still handsome in a rugged way. He might be quiet, but maybe thats a blessing! If shed chosen Matt, what would she have donecharmed to death, but nothing practical would ever get done.

Within months, James had transformed Charlottes garden into a proper wonderland. He cleared out the extra trees, levelled the ground, put in flower beds, built her a lovely pergola. You could feel a mans touch in the whole house.

Charlotte was certainshe had definitely made the right choice.

James brought in money too, always keen to surprise Charlotte with little presents.

In just a short span of marriage, comparing it to her twenty-five years in her first, she honestly wished shed found James soonera real gem.

When the weather was good, theyd make dinner on the barbecue and eat in the arbour where James had set up a wooden table and benches. Charlotte would tuck into her kebabs and squint happily into the evening sun. James would just smile, watching her.

What is it, James?

Nothing, love. Im just happy.

His first wife had been a bit of a misery, and hed never thought hed meet anyone so wonderful as Charlotte.

Four years of this quiet happiness passed, and then, all of a sudden, James started feeling off.

He tired easily, began losing weight for no reason. And if he drankJames had always enjoyed a tipplehed feel absolutely rotten.

James, youve got to see a doctor! Charlotte was seriously worried. What are you waiting for? Somethings clearly wrong.

Oh, dont be daft, Charlie! Itll pass.

Oh, stop being so medieval. And what if it doesnt? Are you like most menscared of the GP?

No.

James didnt want to tell Charlotte what he really feared: the thought of being desperately illand Charlotte leaving. He didnt think shed stick around for an invalid.

James wasnt stupid. He knew Charlotte hadnt married him for loveat least, not head-over-heels loveit was more practical. But he loved her, against all odds.

Hed spotted her in a shop one day, all flustered, rummaging through her bag for her purse, and hed fallen for herhard. Her scatterbrained manner was just so endearing. Hed wanted to scoop her up, look after her forever. Even his mum, upon meeting Charlotte, had said with a look, Youll do as you wish, son, but what exactly do you see in her? Shes not young, not beautiful. You could have your pick of the young ones!

James needed no one but Charlotte. But now, if he really was illwould she still want him?

She never did convince him to see a doctor. It was a Saturday night; Helen and her husband, Richard, were over. James and Richard were outside with some beers, manning the barbecue. In the kitchen, as they made the salad, Helen asked Charlotte:

Is James unwell?

I dont know! I keep begging him to see the doctor. But he wont budge! Youre a doctorwhat do you think? Is he ill?

Well he does look worse. Hes lost weight, and, if Im honest, his skin looks a bit yellowish.

Oh God, Helen, please, make him see someone, will you? Maybe hell listen to you.

Helen studied Charlotte for a moment.

Charlie do you love him? I remember you were never really sure…

Charlotte bit her lip and didnt answer.

But before Helen could talk James into seeing anyone, he collapsed at dinner. They rang an ambulance. Charlotte rode with him to hospital, holding his hand the whole way.

James was taken for surgery almost immediately.

Liver tumour.

Cancer?! Charlotte panicked.

Well wait for the biopsy results.

The tumour, thank heavens, turned out benign, but it had already grown quite big by the time James landed on the operating table.

Afterwards, the doctors forbade almost everything and warned his recovery would be slowif he recovered fully at all, given his age.

James fell into a deep funk. His mother, Margaret, visited in hospital while Charlotte was at work. She brought along approved foodnot that James wanted anything.

I hardly recognise you, James! You made it throughno cancer. Why the long face? Eat these steamed meatballs Ive brought.

Im not hungry.

But you have to eat! Whats wrong? Has Charlotte visited?

She has at least for now.

What, you think shes going to give up on you? Dont be daft!

Im useless now, Mum! Im not allowed to work, or do anything. Ill be fifty in June, and Im an invalid. Whod want an invalid?

Whats going on here? asked Charlotte, coming in. Youre yelling so loudly, the whole ward can hear. Afternoon, Margaret!

Ill leave you to it, then. Bye, Charlotte and you, James.

Whats the matter?

His mother waved her hand and left. Charlotte washed her hands and came over to see her miserable husband.

So, whats all this, big man? Arms, legseverythings still there. People recover from worse. Did you know, the liver can regrow itself? If fifty-one percents left, itll come right backand youve still got sixty! Give it time. Itll be alright.

Will it though? Do I really have the time?

What? What do you mean, James? Has someone not told me something? Did you ask the doctors to hide something?

No, its not that

Eventually, James was discharged. But this was the hardest part for him. Any kind of effort would leave him knackered, and thatmore than anythinggot him down.

His milestone birthday was coming up, which did nothing to lift his spirits. Can’t eat anything, cant drinknot much of a party.

Charlotte acted as if she didnt notice how easily he tired, cheerfully munching on the bland diet food alongside him.

Charlie he finally asked, what’s going to happen with us, do you think?

In what way? she replied, puzzled.

You know Im getting better so slowly. You’ll leave me, wont you? Best to say so now

Why would I leave you? I love being with you.

Thats when I was doing everything and still able to work. Now, whats so good? Even I dont feel good in my own skin.

Oh, nonsense! Get a grip now, will you?

Im trying! But what even is thisI whack a nail in twice and suddenly Im shattered!

Charlotte came up behind him. She wrapped him in a hug, pressing her cheek to the back of his head.

I love you. And Im not leaving. Ever. Take your time recovering, no rush at all.

Do you really? Honestly?

I do. I truly do.

Charlotte never left James. He got better, slowly but surely.

For his big birthday, she threw him a partyno strong drink, so he wouldnt feel left out.

A handful of friends came, they spent the evening in the garden arbour, played board games.

James, youre lucky to have Charlotte, his friends said as they left.

You lotll probably grab a few pints now in my honour, he joked.

Everyone had a good laugh and headed off. That night, Charlotte and James sat together on the porch, stargazinghappy, at peace. For the first time in months, James truly felt himself again.

He believed in his recovery, and in his wifes love. He hugged Charlotte close.

Whats got into you, James?

Im just happy, he said.

Well, finally, Charlotte smiled, planting a kiss on his cheek.

And they were, indeed, happy.