You’re Taking Advantage of Gran—She Looks After Your Child but Refuses to Help with Mine, Not Even at the Weekends

Youre taking advantage of Grandma. She helps with your child and wont even take mine at weekends.

Sometimes life tosses you a curveball and you need a quick fix, just to keep your head above water. Thats exactly where I, Margaret, found myself recently.

My son, Ben, is four years old and, well, to me hes absolutely smashingeven if he does seem to have a knack for chaos. Honestly, is there a single perfectly-behaved child in the country? I havent met one. Theyre all little mischief-makers. And with a second baby on the way, the plot thickens.

So there I am at my latest check-up, when the doctor looks me up and down, and before you know it, Im sent straight to hospital. Something apparently urgent. No delays allowed. Suddenly, the burning question: whos going to look after Ben?

My husband was away for ten days, wining and dining clients somewhere in Leeds. Both my parents work full-timeclassic office hoursso all other possible helpers were out of the running. Then my grandma, bless her, steps up to the wicket. She says shell watch Ben until Im back. I couldnt help but worry; shes seventy, and Ben moves at the speed of a wind-up toy after a double espresso. It was anyones guess how it would go.

Anyway, we hatched a plan. My parents, ever the reliable sort, offered to look after Ben in the evenings once they clock off work, and Grandma took care of him during the day. Sorted. Well, sort of.

I fretted. Of course I didthis is my son, after all. But with no other options, I had to make peace with it. I checked in with Gran about sixteen times a day, just to make sure neither she nor Ben had attempted any sort of escape. Oddly enough, they got on like a house on fire. The week flashed by, and, just as my nerves had started to settle, my husband returned to take the reins.

Not long before I was due to be released, my sister, Jane, rang in a huff. Her daughter Rosie is two, and regardless of how much she badgered our gran to look after hereven for a weekendGrandma wasnt having any of it. Shes far too little, Gran said, put her foot down and wouldnt budge.

Jane just about begged on hands and knees, but Gran didnt crack.

Youve taken advantage of Grandma! Jane fumed down the phone.

I was desperate! I said. Its not as if Ben and I could move into hospital together. Besides, I asked for your help too, but you werent keen, remember? You only want Grandma involved so you can have a lie-in and a cuppa in peace. Theres a difference! Would you really leave a toddler alone with Gran? She should be with her parents!

But they dont want to look after her! Its always down to me! Jane protested.

Frankly, I think shes being a tad unfair. Theres a big leap between a two-year-old and a four-year-old. If Id had any choice, I wouldnt have dumped Ben on the family either. But Jane reckons Ive pulled a fast one on Grandma.