З життя
Зрада від найближчих: той, кого вважала сином, завжди тримав кинджал за пазухою
Людмила довго йшла вулицею. Від такого зрадництва найближчих людей аж жити не хотілося. Вона вважала його сином. А виявилося, що він завжди камінь за пазухою тримав. Якесь дивне вираження, завжди стереотипи її дратували. Думала по-доброму: поганих людей не існує, бувають лише дурні вчинки. Через такі вчинки та страждають рідні.
З Ігорем був її другий шлюб. Перший виявився невдалим, довго не могла після цього отямитися. Навіть обіцяла собі, що ніколи більше не вийде заміж. Але минув час, і все змінилося.
Разом з Ігорем працювали багато років. Він був одружений на її найкращій подрузі. І коли Людмила переживала життєві негаразди з невдачливим чоловіком, вони були поруч. Усе про неї знали. Коли Валентина захворіла, настав час віддавати борги. Тож Людмила збирала гроші на операцію, прала, готувала, прибирала, поки подруга в лікарні лежала. Але всі зусилля виявилися марними, Валя померла.
Після смерті дружини, Ігор був у відчаї. Тому Людмилі довелося взяти всі клопоти по похованню на себе. Потім допомагала виховувати Сергійка. А коли після церемонії річниці смерті Валі, Ігор буденним тоном сказав:
– Залишайся у нас.
Вона погодилася. Дійсно, Сергію без матері не можна. Чужа жінка навряд чи полюбить чужу дитину.
Хто знає, чи це була любов, чи просто звичка, але родина вийшла хорошою і дружньою. Сергій почав було Людмилу мамою кликати, та вона зупинила його:
– У тебе мама Валя. Ніколи не забувай про неї.
Дві маленькі квартири об’єднали в одну велику. Як належить, записали на главу родини. Кілька разів Ігор пропонував Людмилі оформити стосунки, але вона все відмовлялася. Навіщо нам, ми ж не дітей хочемо заводити? Хіба нам мало клопоту з Сергієм? І справді з ним було достатньо клопоту. Хлопчик зростав добрим, але непосидючим. Коли в садок ходив, вихователі скаржилися. А вже зі школи так і взагалі телефонували кілька разів на день. Ігор сердився, сварив, навіть бив намагався.
А Людмила захищала його:
– Себе згадай. Теж, мабуть, не був подарунком. – Ігор посміхався, згадуючи себе.
– Що ж тепер, всі такими безладниками мають бути? Мене батько знаєш, як ганяв…
– Ти кращим від цього став?
– Ні, але все-таки. Як пояснити, що таке добре, а що таке погано?
Людмила засмутилася від спогадів, коли ж це сталося. Так би й не дізналася, якби не помер Ігор. Так не мало б статися. Людина не може в сорок п’ять років померти від якогось тромба. От якби він хворів, встигли б підготуватися. Ігор заповіт би склав. Але його смерть була настільки несподіваною, настільки нелепою. Здавалося, що вона разом з ним померла.
Сергій вже дорослий хлопець, в університеті навчається, зустрічається з дівчиною. Не очікувала від нього Людмила нічого поганого. А він прийшов після похорону ввечері з бабусею. Видно, сам не міг цього зробити, потрібна була підтримка. І сказав:
– Квартира моя і бабусина. А ти тут ніхто. Даємо тобі місяць, щоб виїхала.
Людмила навіть нічого не могла сказати, так її ці слова шокували. З іншого боку, якщо син, якого вона виховала, міг її як бездомну собаку вигнати, значить, поганою була вона матір’ю. Значить, все життя даремно пройшло. Тим самим їй. Але куди тепер звернутися, як жити. Невже все потрібно спочатку починати?
Минуло вже два тижні після візиту сина, а Людмила так і не придумала, що робити. Нікому не розповідала, соромно було. Вона ж ним пишалася, хвалилася його успіхами. Як він сам в університет вступив, яка дівчина у нього хороша. А що тепер? Не її це син. Вона йому не потрібна. Немає їй місця у його житті.
Людмила переверталася, не могла заснути. У двері постукали. Вона неохоче піднялася, натягла на себе халат, тапочки і пішла відчиняти двері. Скільки разів Ігор казав їй питати, хто прийшов. Не навчилася, вірила вона людям. Надавала надію, що нічого поганого з нею не трапиться. На порозі стояв Сергій:
– Мамо Людо, пробач мене. Це все бабуся, – сльози заважали йому говорити, – бабуся казала, що ти все собі забереш. Говорила, що в наш дім когось приведеш, і мені вже нічого не дістанеться. Сам не знаю, як так вийшло. Живи тут скільки хочеш, хоч усе життя. Це ж твій дім. А мені нічого не треба. Я хочу, щоб у мене, як раніше, мама була. – Людмила плакала, Сергій витирав їй сльози рукою.
– А чому ж ти не відкрив своїм ключем? – запитала Людмила.
– Не хотів у твоє життя вторгатися.
– Дурненький, яке в мене життя без тебе?
Вони ще довго стояли прямо через поріг, дивлячись один на одного, плакали. Поки, нарешті, першою не отямилася Людмила.
– Що ж ми стоїмо, ходімо чай пити.
– Ходімо, мені стільки тобі потрібно розповісти!
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