З життя
Звичайний офісний гул припинився з появою менеджера з таємничою гостею.
Офіс наповнився звичними розмовами. Зайшла менеджерка з якоюсь непримітною дівчиною.
— Познайомтеся, дівчата, це Оксана, вона тепер буде працювати з вами замість Кості. Він пішов на підвищення. Думаю, ви знайдете спільну мову, — сказала Тамара Петрівна і вийшла.
Оксана сіла за стіл Костя. Вийняла красиву чашку та маленький портрет чоловіка. Одразу почала працювати. Наче прийшла сюди кілька років тому.
Почулося бряцання дзвіночка, і всі, як на команду, встали та вирушили на бізнес-ланч. Лише Марина залишилась. Її переповідала цікавість, який саме портрет новенька поставила на стіл.
З рамки на неї дивився вродливий чоловік з чарівною усмішкою та рівним рядом красивих зубів.
— Хто це може бути? — гадала Марина, — актор, співак?
Вона клацнула смартфоном і пішла обідати. Дівчата сиділи за одним столом і слухали новеньку.
— Ми з Сашком познайомилися три роки тому за досить дивних обставин, ви не повірите, що таке буває.
— Розкажи, розкажи, — просили дівчата.
Спогади перенесли її три роки назад, коли вона працювала в великій компанії, то чи логіст щось переплутав, чи вона, відправили не той товар компанії її майбутнього чоловіка. Відправили саме її розбиратись.
Оксана була розумним і грамотним фахівцем і вміла вести переговори. Всіх зводила з пантелику її зовнішність — непримітна, без макіяжу. Ну, “сіра мишка”. Але як тільки починалися переговори, вона перетворювалася на удава. М’яко і ніжно вона розслаблювала співрозмовника і досягала своїх цілей.
Шеф, знаючи її методи, відправив саме її. Дівчина на ресепшені повідомила:
— 312 кабінет, Єгоров Олександр.
Вона ввійшла без стуку, представилась.
— Оксана, ми вам товар відправили, логісти наплутали.
І далі пішли пояснення. Олександр дивився на неї і не вірив своїм очам.
— Так адже це вона, він бачив її давним-давно уві сні.
Її руде волосся трохи хиталося, зелені очі дивилися на нього прямо і чесно. Говорила рівно і спокійно.
Оксана приготувалася, як раніше, до атаки, раптом Олександр сказав:
— Оксана, ми не будемо писати претензій, сподіваюся, це більше не повториться.
Вона підвелася і попрощалася. Через два дні він чекав її біля виходу з офісу. Оксана вийшла останньою.
— Оксанко, — закричав він, махаючи рукою, — ми з вами спілкувалися два дні тому.
— Добрий вечір, Олександре. Пам’ятаю, — відповіла спокійно без кокетства.
— У мене є два квитки в театр, не хочете скласти мені компанію? Мама прихворіла, — збрехав Олександр.
— Можу скласти, коли вистава, Олександре?
— Через дві години сьогодні, у вас ще маса часу. Якщо вам треба переодягнутися, я вас відвезу.
— Хитрий хід, — подумала Оксана і погодилася.
Він чекав її біля під’їзду. Коли вона вийшла, він побачив зовсім іншу Оксану в чорному платті, що облягло її бездоганну фігуру.
Він навіть спершу не впізнав її, так вразило його це перетворення. Макіяж був вечірній, ненав’язливий. Він сидів поруч під час вистави і часом поглядав на Оксану. Було видно, що вона знавець театру і, ймовірно, читала п’єсу.
Після вистави він запропонував піти в ресторан. Оксана ввічливо відмовила, пославшись на те, що завтра важкі переговори. Олександр відвіз її додому та поїхав. Наприкінці тижня він знову чекав на неї, і вони поїхали гуляти.
Через два місяці, як завжди, він чекав на неї після роботи.
— Мама хоче з тобою познайомитися, ти не проти?
— Я теж мріяла зустрітися з нею.
Мама зустріла їх гостинно, пили чай з варенням з райських яблучок, пирогом з абрикосами та різними смаколиками. Бесіда була невимушеною. Оксана розповідала Вірі Василівні (матері Олександра) про рецепт її бабусі, як вони готували варення з райських яблук, про тата, що загинув під час випробувань, про маму, викладачку історії в школі.
Олександр відвіз її додому.
— Ти мамі дуже сподобалася, я радий.
Так вони стали зустрічатися майже щодня. Через рік відгуляли весілля.
Вона замовкла. Дівчата слухали її і таємно їй заздрили. Лише Марина думала:
— Що він у ній знайшов, у цій “сірій миші”? Ні краси, ні вроди. Чому таким щастить? А вона гарна, ноги від вух, вся така, чіпляються якісь, то відразу в ліжко тягнуть, або після тижня знайомства виявляються одруженими.
Пролунав дзвінок, дівчата всі, як по команді, піднялися і пішли в офіс. Марина підійшла до Світлани.
— Дивись, це її чоловік! Ти в це віриш? Я ні. Вона все вигадує. Невже такий до неї клюнув?
Вечором після роботи всі виходили з офісу, коли вийшла Оксана, засигналила машина. Вийшов чоловік.
— Оксанко, я тут, — він помахав їй рукою.
Це був той самий чоловік з фото.
— Невже дійсно він її чоловік? — подумала Марина, чому не я? Адже я краща.
Дівчата стояли та дивилися їм услід, кожна думаючи про своє.
Часто побачивши таку пару виникає питання: — Що він у ній знайшов? Ймовірно знайшов те, що шукав. Не завжди краса подобається чоловікам. Так вони з такими фліртують та інше. Але заміж беруть інших. А ось чому? Ймовірно потрібно спитати у них.
You Don’t Deserve It — “After my divorce, I thought I’d never be able to trust anyone again,” Andrew said, turning an empty espresso cup between his fingers. His voice broke and trembled so convincingly that Ksenia instinctively leaned closer. “You know, when you’ve been betrayed, it’s like losing a part of yourself. She left a scar I’ll never get over. I truly believed I wouldn’t survive it…” Andrew sighed heavily and talked for a long time—about the wife who never appreciated him, about the pain that wouldn’t let go, about how terrified he was to start over. Every word settled in Ksenia’s heart like a warm pebble, and she already imagined she’d be the woman to restore his faith in love. Together, they would heal his wounds. He’d finally see that real happiness was possible—with her. It wasn’t until their second date, between dessert and coffee, that Andrew mentioned Maxim… “I have a son, by the way. He’s seven. He lives with his mother, but spends every weekend with me. The court decided that.” “That’s wonderful!” Ksenia gave a bright smile. “Children are such a blessing.” She pictured Saturday morning breakfasts for three, trips to the park, cozy evenings watching TV. The boy would need a woman’s care, a mother’s warmth. She would be his second mum—not to replace the real one, of course, but to be someone close, someone he could rely on… “You’re really sure you don’t mind?” Andrew looked at her with an odd smirk that Ksenia mistook for distrust. “Most women run for the hills when they hear I have a child.” “I’m not most women,” she replied proudly. …The first weekend with Maxim was a proper celebration. Ksenia made blueberry pancakes—his favourite, as Andrew had warned her. She patiently sat with a maths textbook, making problems easy to understand, washed his dinosaur T-shirt, ironed his school uniform, made sure he was in bed by nine. “You should take a break,” she told Andrew one day, noticing how he sprawled out on the sofa with the remote in his hand. “I’ve got this.” Andrew nodded—gratefully, so she thought at the time. Now she realised it was the nod of a man accepting what was rightfully his. …Months became years. Ksenia worked as a manager in a logistics company—out at eight in the morning, back at seven at night. The pay was pretty decent, as far as London went. Enough for two. But there were three of them. “They’ve delayed the project again,” Andrew would announce as if reporting a natural disaster. “The client bailed. But there’s a big contract just round the corner, I promise.” The big contract hovered on the horizon for a year and a half. Sometimes it seemed closer, sometimes it drifted away, but it never actually arrived. The bills, on the other hand, showed up right on cue. Rent. Electricity. Internet. Groceries. Child maintenance for Marina. New trainers for Max. School fees. Ksenia paid the lot without complaint. She saved on lunches, brought in tubs of pasta, refused to take a taxi even in the pouring rain. She hadn’t splashed out on a manicure for over a year—did her own nails, trying not to think about how she used to afford pampering at the salon. In three years Andrew gave her flowers exactly three times. She remembered each bunch—cheap, slightly withered supermarket roses from the corner stall, the thorns already broken off. Probably a discount… The first bouquet came as an apology after Andrew called her hysterical in front of Max. The second—after a row when her friend visited with no warning. The third was brought home after he missed her birthday because he stayed out with his mates (or simply forgot…) “Andrew, I don’t need expensive presents,” she tried to keep her voice gentle, choosing every word. “But sometimes, I’d just like to know you’re thinking of me. Even a card…” His face twisted instantly. “Money, it’s always about money with you, isn’t it? Presents, presents. Does love mean anything to you? All I’ve been through, and you complain?” “I didn’t mean—” “You don’t deserve it.” Andrew spat the words at her like mud. “After everything I’ve done for you, you still find something to whinge about.” Ksenia fell silent. She always did—it was just easier that way. Easier to live, easier to breathe, easier to pretend everything was fine. Strangely, Andrew always managed to find money for nights out with friends. Pubs, watching the football, café meetups every Thursday. He’d come home tipsy and cheerful, reeking of sweat and cigarettes, falling onto the bed without noticing Ksenia was still awake. She told herself: this is just how things are. Love means sacrifice. Love means patience. He’ll change. Of course he’ll change. I just have to wait a bit longer, love him a bit harder, give him all the support he needs—he’s been through so much… …Any talk of a wedding was like walking through a minefield. “We’re happy as we are—why do we need a piece of paper?” Andrew would shrug off the subject as if batting away a fly. “After what happened with Marina, I need time.” “Three years, Andrew. Three years is a long time.” “You’re putting pressure on me! It’s always the same with you.” He’d storm out of the room and end the conversation. Ksenia really wanted children. Her own, flesh and blood. She was twenty-eight, and her biological clock seemed to tick louder every month. But Andrew wasn’t up for being a father again—he already had a son, and, in his mind, that was plenty. …That Saturday she only asked for one day. Just one single day. “The girls have invited me round. We haven’t seen each other in ages. I’ll be back by evening.” Andrew looked at her as if she’d just announced plans to run off to another continent. “And Max?” “You’re his dad. You can spend the day with your son.” “So now you’re abandoning us? On a Saturday? When I was planning to have a break?” Ksenia blinked. Then blinked again. In three years she had never left them alone. Not once. She cooked, cleaned, helped with schoolwork, did the washing, ironing—all while holding down a full-time job. “I just want to see my friends. For a few hours… And he’s your son, Andrew. Surely you can spend one day with him without me?” “You should love my son as you love me!” Andrew suddenly roared. “You’re living in my flat, eating my food, and now you’re showing your true colours?!” His flat. His food. Ksenia was the one paying the rent. Ksenia bought the food from her wages. For three years she’d supported a man who shouted at her for wanting a day with her friends. She looked at Andrew—at his twisted face, the vein bulging on his forehead, clenched fists—and for the first time, truly saw him. Not the tragic victim of fate, not some lost soul in need of saving, but a grown man who was a master at exploiting someone else’s kindness. To him, Ksenia wasn’t a beloved partner or a future wife—just a financial backer and unpaid housekeeper. Nothing more. When Andrew left to drop Max off with Marina, Ksenia pulled out a travel bag. Her hands moved calmly, confidently—no shaking, no doubt. Passport. Phone. Charger. A couple of T-shirts. Jeans. The rest she could buy later. The rest didn’t matter. She didn’t bother leaving a note. What was the point of explaining things to someone who never really saw her anyway? The door closed quietly behind her. No drama. The phone calls started within the hour. First one, then another, then a deluge—an incessant ringing that made the phone vibrate in her hand. “Ksenia, where are you?! What’s going on?! I come home and you’re not here! How dare you? Where’s dinner? Am I supposed to go hungry? What’s all this nonsense?” She listened to his voice—angry, demanding, full of self-righteous outrage—and was amazed. Even now, when she’d left, Andrew only thought about himself. His inconvenience. Who would cook for him now? Not a single “sorry.” Not one “are you okay?” Just “how dare you.” Ksenia blocked his number. Then she found his profile in her chat app—blocked it. Social media—blocked. Every avenue he could use to reach her, she built a wall. Three years. Three years of living with a man who didn’t love her. Who used her kindness like it was disposable. Who convinced her that sacrificing herself was what love was all about. But love isn’t like that. Love doesn’t humiliate. Love doesn’t turn a living, breathing person into the hired help. Ksenia walked through the London evening—and, for the first time in ages, breathing came easy. She vowed to herself: never again would she confuse love with self-sacrifice. Never again would she rescue those who only trade on pity. Always, from now on, she would choose herself. Only herself.
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