З життя
Родичка усамітнилася від образ: тепер у неї “немає сім’ї
Щоденник
Я завжди вірила, що сім’я – це як дерево: чим глибше коріння, тим міцніше стоїть. Родичі, навіть далекі – це люди, доля яких переплелася з нашою. Ми з чоловіком старанно плели стосунки з усіма: і з батьками зятя, і з далекими родичами. Особливо після того, як наша старша донька Оксана вийшла заміж. Діти дійсно зближують. Ми раділи, що їй трапився гарний хлопець – Олег, спокійний, зі сталевим характером, але не грубіян. Живуть поки що в орендованій квартирі у Львові, а ми по трохи допомагаємо зібрати на власне житло. Звісно, нелегко, але якось викручуємось. І нам самим нічого з неба не впало.
З матір’ю Олега, Марією Петрівною, спочатку все було добре. Вона мешкає у Тернополі, далеко від нас, тому спілкувалися переважно по телефону, рідко бачилися. Розмови були чемні, на рівних, здавалося – все йде своїм чередом. Та перед самим Новим роком щось тріснуло. І зовсім не з нашого боку.
Напередодні свят я дзвонила Оксані – просто так, від душі:
— Доню, привіт! Ви з Олегом вже думали, де зустрічатимете Новий рік?
— Ой, мамо, ще не вирішили…
— Ходіть до нас! У нас хатина велика, кімнат багато, гостей любимо, тато вже гірлянди на двір повісив. Ялинка чекає, караоке готове. І Марію Петрівну кличте – батько поїде забере її, потім відвезе. Нехай у нас зустріне свято, навіщо їй самій сидіти?
Оксана обіцяла порадитися з чоловіком і перетелефонувати. Ввечері сказала, що вони приїдуть, але його мати – ні. Мовляв, вона або до друзів піде, або вдома залишиться. У неї, каже, традиція – тихо зустрічати Новий рік, без галасу. Мені якось ніяково стало. Невже важко раз провести свято з дітьми, у колі нової родини? Я ж нічого поганого не пропонувала – лише добро. Вирішила подзвонити свасі особисто.
— Маріє, ну годі тобі! Самотньо вдома – сумно! Приїжджай до нас, чесне слово, гостюватимеш, окрему кімнату приготую, можеш своїх друзів покликати, якщо хочеш. А у нас – шашлик у дворі, салют, пісні. Все буде весело, по-родинному!
Але вона мовчки відмахнулася:
— Не знаю. Останні десять років я завжди з друзями. Якщо вони покличуть – піду. Не покличуть – телевізор, плед, і спати… З віком, знаєш, галас не до душі.
Я не наполягала. Подумала: «Ну, може, й справді їй не хочеться». Але вже наступного дня мені дзвонить Оксана. Голос у доньки збентежений, ледь не плаче:
— Мамо, свекруха образилась… Каже, що ми її зрадили. Що я «відбираю сина у матері», що він мав зустрічати Новий рік з нею. Вона пропонувала святкувати у себе – у своїй двокімнатній квартирі… Уявляєш?
Я оніміла. Отже, ми – зрадники, тому що запросили дітей зустріти свято у великому домі, де всім вистачить місця? У нас п’ять вільних кімнат, просторі зали, кухня, двір, де можна розвести багаття, смажити м’ясо, гратися, веселитися. А в неї – тісна «двушка», де, вибачте, влізе щонайбільше пара гостей. Навіть якби ми всі туди набились – і що далі? Посиділи б півтори години, подивились «ШаленоА потім Марія Петрівна дійсно пішла до друзів, залишивши за собою важку тишу, немов заморожений вітер у зимовому саду.
I’ve Had Enough of Impromptu Weekend Visits: How My Brother-in-Law’s Family Took Over Our Home (and My Life) Until I Finally Stood My Ground – Was I Wrong to Set Boundaries When Uninvited Guests Showed Up With Kids, Expected Meals, and Never Asked About Our Plans?
I’ve simply had enough of you lot turning up every weekend! Perhaps youve met the sort of person who genuinely...
How Can a Mother Do Such a Thing? She Sent Her Four-Year-Old Son to a Children’s Home Rather Than Get Him Treated – A Tale of Heartbreak, True Friendship, and a Second Chance at Family
How on earth do such mothers exist! She sent her own child off to a childrens home because she couldnt...
My Sister-in-Law Spent Her Summer at a Holiday Resort While We Renovated the House, and Now She Expects to Live in Comfort With Us We suggested pitching in together with my sister-in-law to renovate the family home, but she flatly refused, claiming she didn’t need it. Now she wants to move in with us because her half has no modern comforts—her own fault! The house belonged to my husband’s grandmother, and after she passed, it was split between my husband and his sister. It was old and neglected, but we decided to renovate and make it our home. It’s a semi-detached property with two entrances, so two families could live there comfortably without getting in each other’s way. The garden and outbuildings are shared, and both sides have the same number of rooms. The inheritance was sorted after we married, and everything went smoothly. My mother-in-law immediately declined her share—she was a city person through and through. She told her son and daughter to do as they liked. My husband and my brother-in-law scraped together enough to repair the roof and shore up the foundations. We wanted to keep going, but my sister-in-law threw a tantrum. She wanted nothing to do with this “shabby old cottage.” Her husband just kept his head down—he never argues with her. We planned to move in. The village was close to town, we had a car, and were sick of living in a cramped one-bedroom flat. Building from scratch would’ve cost a fortune. For my sister-in-law, the house was just a holiday destination—she’d pop over in summer to barbecue or relax. She told us not to count on her help. Over four years, we completely renovated our half: bathroom, heating, electrics, new windows, even a conservatory. We took out loans, but it was worth chasing our dream. We worked tirelessly, day and night. All this time, my sister-in-law jetted off on holidays, showing no interest in the house or her share. She lived for pleasure—until she had a baby and went on maternity leave. That was the end of her travels and her cash flow. Suddenly, she remembered her share. With a baby in tow, she wanted space and fresh air for him to run around. By then, our half was finished and we’d let out our old flat. We never touched her side, but it had deteriorated badly over the years. I don’t see how they could have stayed—no heating, outdoor loo, it was unliveable. Even so, she turned up with her suitcase and begged to stay “just a week”—I let her in. Her son is loud, and like her, she does whatever she wants with no regard for anyone else. I work from home, so it drove me mad; I moved in with a friend for a bit, who actually appreciated having someone look after her house while she was away. I ended up staying away almost a month. First at my friend’s, then my mum fell ill and needed care. Honestly, I forgot about my sister-in-law, assuming she’d long since gone home. Imagine my shock when I returned and found her still there, making herself at home. I asked when she planned to leave. “Why would I go anywhere? I have a small child and I’m comfortable here,” she replied. “We’ll take you back to town tomorrow,” I said. “I don’t want to go.” “You haven’t even bothered to clean your side, so back you go—this isn’t a hotel.” “You’ve no right to throw me out! This is my house!” “Your house is on the other side of the wall. Go stay there.” She tried to turn my husband against me, but he also told her she’d outstayed her welcome. She sulked and left. A few hours later, my mother-in-law started ringing: “You had no right to kick her out—it’s her property!” “She could have stayed in her own half, she’s the lady of that house,” my husband said. “With a child? There isn’t even heating or a proper loo! You should have looked after your sister.” My husband finally lost his patience and told his mum everything: how we’d offered to renovate together, how it would have cost less—and she’d refused. Why was everyone blaming us now? We offered to buy her out—she named a price so high we could have bought a brand new house for it. Not a satisfactory solution for us. Now there’s constant tension. My mother-in-law is perpetually offended. Alina is a nuisance. They visit rarely, but when they do it’s noisy parties, petty sabotage, and damages in the garden. We’ve decided to build a fence and completely separate our section. There’s no more compromise—that’s what my sister-in-law wanted.
My sister-in-law spent her holidays at a cosy seaside resort while we were knee-deep in renovating our house, and now...
She Thought Her Husband Had a Big Appetite—Turns Out His Sister Was Stealing Food from Their Fridge
So, picture thisIm standing in front of my fridge, door wide open, absolutely baffled where all the foods vanished to....
My Childhood Friend Came to Visit—She Chose Not to Have Children, Preferring to Live for Herself and Now at 60 Has No Regrets About Her Life Choices
An old childhood friend of mine came for a visit. She never had childrenshed decided long ago not to. She...
I Came to Visit Because I Missed You, But My Own Grown Children Feel Like Strangers – A Mother’s Story of Disappointment and Longing for Closer Family Ties
I arrived to visit, missing you, but children feel like strangers now Diary Entry Parents are meant to always care...
Move Over, We’re Planning to Live Here for the Next Ten Years: When Family Turns Up Expecting a London Flat, Entitlement, and Old Promises Come Crashing Down
Move Over, Well Just Live Here For Ten Years My mother-in-law paused for a moment, then declared, Oh, Jenny, Vals...
I’ve Had Enough of Uninvited Weekend Visits! How My Brother-in-Law’s Family Turned Our Home into Their Holiday Retreat—And How I Finally Took Back My Weekends Without Offending Anyone
Im absolutely fed up with you lot showing up every weekend! Perhaps youve come across that sort of person who...