З життя
I’m 60 and about to turn 61 — not a milestone like 70 or 80, but it matters to me. I want a proper c…
Im 60 years old, and in two months, Ill be turning 61. Its not a milestone birthdaynothing like 70 or 80but its important to me. Id like to celebrate it. Not just with a hastily bought cake or a casual lunch squeezed in between other things, but with a proper, well-planned party: a dinner, beautifully laid tables, decorated chairs, attentive staff, gentle music. Something that makes me feel alive, seen, and grateful for all Ive experienced.
The trouble is, my children dont agree.
I have two grown sons. Both of them live with me, along with their partners and their kids. The house is always fullnoise, telly blaring, children dashing about, conversations and bickering. Of course I love them, but the truth is, I no longer have a moments peace. Im never alone. Not ever.
They both work, but the reality is, I cover most of the expenses. I have my pension, some money left to me by my husband, and a little business I still manage. I pay the bills, the food shops, the repairsoften stepping in with whats meant to be temporary help, though it always ends up being permanent.
Helping out hasnt bothered me.
What worries me is that now, they make decisions on my behalf.
When I mentioned wanting to throw a party, they dismissed it as a waste of money. That, at my age, its pointless to spend on fancy tables, meals, or waiters, and that Id be better off giving them the moneytowards investments, the kids, or something useful. They spoke to me as if I was being reckless with my own money.
I tried to explain I wouldnt be borrowing anything, and that Id been thinking about this for months. But they didnt listen. They kept insisting it was unnecessary.
Then one of them said, Mum, this sort of thing isnt really for you anymore.
Those words cut me deeper than I expected.
I started thinking about things Ive never dared say out loud. That sometimes I crave being by myself in my own house. That I miss waking up to silence. That I wish I could come home to a quiet living room. That I want to make decisions without having to justify myself.
Ive even thought about telling them its time to find their own placenot out of anger, but because I feel Ive done my bit.
But then, Im gripped by guilt.
Im scared of sounding selfish.
I dont want to argue. I dont want to evict anyone overnight. I simply want to know if Im wrong to want to celebrate. To crave quiet once in a while. To wish that my own money might occasionally be spent on me.
Im writing this because I honestly dont know what to doshould I stay firm, or back down again? Should I host the party, even if they dont approve?
What do you thinkam I wrong for wanting to celebrate my birthday the way I wish, and to feel that my home and my savings shouldnt always be a family decision?
Sometimes, in giving so much, we forget we also have the right to cherish and honour ourselves. Maybe its time I remember that my happiness matters, too.
