Sent Off to the Care Home: When Family Duty, Guilt, and Love Collide in a Struggle for Dignity and S…

Sent Off to a Care Home

Dont you dare, Alice, dont even start! Edna Harris shoved away the bowl of porridge set in front of her. You want to dump me in one of those homes for old folks?

So they can jab me with whatever they like, or stick a pillow over my face if I start shouting? Over my dead body!

I took a deep breath, doing my best not to stare at Grans trembling hands.

Gran, its not a home like that. Its a private care home. Theres woodland nearby, nurses on call all day and night.

Youll have company there and a big television. Here youre alone every day while Dads at work.

I know that company business, she rasped, settling herself more comfortably among the cushions. Theyll rob me blind, take the flat, and toss me out on the street.

Tell Paul this: his own mother will only leave this house dead. Let him look after me himself! Hes my son, isnt he?

I raised him, sat up all night when he had measles. Time its his turn, now.

Dads working two jobs just to pay for your medicine! Hes fifty-three, his blood pressure is all over the place, and he hasnt been to the cinema in yearsnever mind a holiday.

Thats fine, Edna snapped, lips tightly pursed. Hes young yet, hell manage.

And you, miss, dont start lecturing me. Go tidy up this mess. Look at this place!

I left the room, breathing out heavily in the hallway. How are you even supposed to talk to her?

Dad came home at seven. He didnt even take his shoes off; just flopped onto the footstool in the hallway and sat there, staring at the floor for a minute.

Dad? You alright? I went out to him and took the heavy shopping bag from his hand.

Im fine, Alice. The warehouse was chaos, end-of-year accounts coming up. Hows Gran?

The same as always. Another row about the care home. Says were trying to get rid of her.

Dad, it cant go on like this. I looked at the accounts for this monthweve got thirty pounds left for food.

And I still need to pay my hall fees, and Ive got to buy university textbooks.

Well manage, Paul said, heaving himself up and kicking off his shoes. I took on extra shiftsnights on security, every other day.

Youre mad! When are you going to sleep? Youll collapse somewhere!

Dad didnt answer. He went to the kitchen, filled a saucepan with water, and set it on the stove.

Has she eaten?

Half of it went on the bed, so I changed the sheets.

Alright. You go study. Youve got exams coming up. Ill feed her and get her washed.

I watched my dad, limping as he went into his mothers room.

My heart ached for him. He was once a big man, always joking, now shrinking into a shadow of himself. The jokes were gone, and hed lost interest in everything.

***

A week later, things got worseDad came home later than usual, barely steady on his feet. I was immediately worried.

Dad? Are you alright?

Im fine, Alice. Just dizzy on the Tubestuffy down there.

Sit down. Ill check your blood pressure.

180 over 110. I handed him his tablets, not saying a word.

Youre not going anywhere tomorrow. Ill call the doctor.

No can do. Dad winced. Inspection tomorrow. If Im not in, theyll cut my bonus. And weve got that tax hike on Mums flat.

Sell it, Dad! I hissed, glancing at the bedroom door. Gran couldnt hear. Sell her one-bed up in Essex. Youll get what, a hundred thousand pounds? Thats huge for us. Wed pay off what we owe and get a proper carer in.

Dad sighed. She wont agree…

She hasnt been there in five years! Why does she even need it if she cant walk?

He didnt get a chance to replythe sound of banging came from the next room.

Edna Harris was whacking her mug on the nightstand, demanding attention.

Paul! Paul, get in here! Who are you whispering with? Plotting behind my back, are you?

Dad sighed, took the pills from my hand, and went to her.

***

Six years ago, Dad had a lady friend. Helen, a calm, kind woman, whod visit, bringing homemade cake. They dreamt up weekends away at a country hotel.

It all ended when Gran became bedridden. Helen tried to help, but the old woman turned the house into hell.

Shes here for what she can get! After my sons money! Gran screamed through the flat, faking heart trouble every time Dad tried to take Helen out on a date. Get her out, now! Away!

Helen left, and Dad never tried to get her back.

I was revising for an exam when the landline rang. Dad was still out.

Hello?

Is that Paul Harris? asked a mans voice.

No, this is his daughter. Whats happened?

Miss, this is HR. Your father collapsed at the staff meeting. We called an ambulance, hes gone to City Hospital. Let me give you the address.

Shaking, I scribbled the address in the margin of my notes. I barely put down the phone when Gran started up.

Alice! Who was that? Wheres Paul? Get me some teaIm thirsty!

I went in. She sat propped with pillows, face pulled into a scowl.

Dads in hospital, I said flatly.

What do you mean hospital? Edna froze for a second, then rallied: I knew it! He shouted at me yesterday, and the Lords punished him for it. No one cares for me here! So whos going to feed me now? Go on, put the kettle on.

I walked out in silence.

***

For three days I ran between the hospital and home.

Dad had suffered a severe hypertensive crisis brought on by extreme stress.

Doctors said he couldnt even get out of bed.

Alice, hows Mum? He asked as soon as I entered his ward.

Shes fine, Dad. The neighbours coming in to help. You need to focus on yourself. Youll be here at least two weeks.

Two weeks… Ill lose my job… We need the money…

Go to sleep, I told him, tucking the blanket around his shoulders. Ill sort it all out. Promise.

On the fourth day, when I got back, Gran met me with a storm of accusations.

Where have you been gallivanting? Im lying here filthy, Pauls lounging somewhere, and Im left to rot!

I clenched my fists and forced myself to speak calmly.

Listen, Gran, and listen well. Dads in serious condition. He could have a stroke if he gets stressed out again.

Dont talk rubbish! she snorted. Hes strong as an ox, like his dad. Now, help me turn over. My hips killing me.

No, I replied, sitting on the edge of the chair. Im not turning you. Im not feeding you either.

Ednas eyes bulged.

Whats this, then? Gone mad, have you, girl?

No. Weve no money. None. Dads not working, his bonus is gone. Your pension doesnt cover your pads and your blood pressure pills.

Lies! Paul must have some cash stashed!

No stash, Gran. It all went on your tests last month. Heres the choice: we sign to sell your Essex flat now, or tomorrow I call Social Services and they take you to a state care home. Thats free.

You wouldnt dare! Edna screeched. Im his mother! I run this house!

What house? Youre killing your own son. You dont care if he never leaves that hospital, so long as you get your soft pillow and a hot meal.

I rang the care home we talked about todayplaces free now, the money from your flat will pay for everything. The care there is excellent.

I wont go! she coughed.

Then go hungry. Ive nothing for your meals. I start a part-time job tomorrow, wont be home till late. Theres water on the nightstand. Think it over.

I left and shut the door behind me. My hands shook. Id never been cruel, but if I didnt break this cycle, Id lose Dad.

And Gran… If we allowed her, shed drain away all our strengthand still outlive us.

The night was silent. I didnt enter her room, but I heard hercalling my name, wailing, cursing. I only went in at dawn.

Water… please… she croaked.

I held the cup to her lips.

So? Will you sign? The notary comes at noon.

You… vultures… she whispered, but the fight had gone out of her voice. Want to take everything… Oh, fine. Get your papers.

Just tell Paul… Tell him to visit sometimes.

He will. When hes walking about again. Ill visit too. Promise.

***

Paul sat on a bench in the park beside the care home. He was looking well againhed put on a bit of weight, a splash of colour back in his cheeks.

His mum sat next to him in her wheelchairclean, in a new warm shawl, munching an apple.

Paul? Paul, love, she called.

Yes, Mum?

You… Have you rung Helen? Made it up?

He stared at her in surprise.

Yes, I called her. She said shed pop in on Saturday.

Good, good. Edna turned to the flowerbeds. Let her visit. Theres a nurse hereLindashes a bit sharp with me, always telling me off.

Let your Helen watch how they treat me. And you, Paul, dont you dare upset her again! Not right, a man making a woman cry. Your father was different…

Paul smiled and squeezed his mothers hand as Alice came running up the path, waving, grinning from ear to ear.

Dad! Gran! she shouted, even before she reached them. I got the scholarship! And theyre giving me a permanent contract at work!

Paul stood, arms wide. Edna watched, squinting against the sun.

She still thought shed been unfairly kicked out her home, but didnt complain anymore.

When her carer came and gently suggested they head for her massage, Edna nodded primly.

Come along, love. But gently, Im delicate, you know. Last time your masseur nearly twisted my leg offtell him to be more careful. Heavy-handed, like a blooming grizzly…

The nurse wheeled her away. Alice hugged Dad, and they stood together for a long while, watching the tall pines.

For the first time in ages, all three of us knew what real happiness felt like.

***

Edna Harris even got to meet her great-grandsonAlice finished her degree, married a lovely bloke, and had a boy.

Paul married Helen, and Edna eventually warmed to her second daughter-in-law. Their relationship was trusting and, dare I say, warmHelen let go of all the nastiness shed heard from Edna at the start.

Gran slipped away quietly in her sleep, grudges all finally given upfor her granddaughter and for her son.