The Caring Grandmother Eliza Mathews, an energetic and determined lady in her early sixties, once s…

Caring Granny

Doris Hill, lively and forthright, just into her sixties, once told her granddaughter:
Lucy, Ive waited long enough but my patience has run out. Are you finally going to let me die in peace?
Lucy, a delicate brunette and an art historian, was pretty taken aback by the odd question.
When are you going to get married?! So I can rest easy, knowing youre sorted? Youre nearly twenty-seven, Granny went on, Do you realise I spent the whole summer at that dreadful Mrs. Weatherbys cottage, listening to her moan twenty times a day about her piles? All so you could get your personal life together. But you didnt meet a soul!
Granny, where am I supposed to meet anyone? Im always either at work, studying Spanish, or working on my dissertation. The only single man at my museum is Mr. Arthur Parker, and youve met him.
Yes, Arthur Parker Hes not even a catch in a drought, just a half-dead shrimp really, Granny replied grimly.
The next day, Doris rang up the old bat Weatherby and found out Weatherby’s granddaughter had met her future husband at a night club.
Sadly, Lucy doesnt go to night clubs, so granny figured shed have to scope out the candidates herself or find somewhere else they might hang about.
Doris learned that ladies could get into the night club free between nine and midnight, so, not wasting any time, she set off the very next evening, telling Lucy she was just popping out for a stroll before bed.
She verbally floored the bouncer, who tried to say something about her age, and with the bouncer’s help parked herself on a tall stool at the bar, scanning the place like a hawk. The atmosphere suddenly felt tense, like a school parents’ evening when the headteacher catches a bunch of Year 7s sneaking beers on the sports field.
Hows things? Enjoying yourself? asked the bartender, offering her a tall glass. Its a virgin cocktail, on the house.
Not at all. Completely hopeless, Doris declared. A decent young woman wont find anything worth her time here. Incidentally, you wouldnt go bust adding a splash of brandy to this. And whats with that ginger lad is he struggling with his hips or is that how they dance now?
Before New Year, Doris went to a rock concert, a fire show, a dreary folk session, some extreme cycling event, a whist tournament, and in total desperation a young poets seminar. The poets finished her off. No point casting bait heaven forbid one actually bites.
Lucy, I get you, sweetheart. Back in my day, I had to choose between your granddad and about a dozen others, all respectable men. Even that old bat Weatherby had options, though she always had eyes for your grandfather. But nowadays, Lucy, young men have really gone downhill, not a single one worth catching your eye.
In March, Doris, after visiting Weatherby, decided to swing by Lucys work. On the way to the museum, she slipped and fell, luckily not on the steps. Some army chap hurried over to help her up. Doris, leaning on her hero, checked herself for broken bones, then looked the soldier in the eye and said:
Major, I see youre a tank man. My late husband commanded a tank regiment. Tell me, Major, have you got an hour to spare?
The Major, thinking hed have to drag an old battle-axe home and cursing his own kindness, resignedly nodded.
Excellent. Tell me, have you ever visited this history museum right here? No? Its a shame. Strongly recommend it. Go in now! Ask for a tour from Lucy Hill. Shes a cracking guide, you wont regret it.
The Major wasnt sure how he ended up in the museum. Granny seemed to have hypnotised him

***
Just the other night, Doris quietly whispered to her sleeping great-grandson, Matthew:
You, my darling little bear, youll be off to school soon, your dad will finish army college, and your mum will finally wrap up her doctorate. And then I can leave this world at peace. But what, are you going to grow up alone, my little sparrow? No, you need a sister! And when your sister arrives, then shell go to school, and then Well, well see what comes nextThe next morning, Lucy found Granny Doris in the sunny kitchen, humming as she buttered toast and poured tea. Lucy cradled Matthew, who gurgled cheerfully, his fat little hand tugging at Grannys sleeve.

Mum says youve been making plans again, Lucy teased, watching Doris beam at her grandson.

Plans? Always, darling. No use getting old and dull, Doris winked. Besides, Im not going anywhere yet. Theres matchmaking left to do, and, apparently, another grandchild to organize.

Lucy laughed, but Doris caught her eye, soft and wise.

You know, I worried so much about you, thinking life had to follow some neat path. But look how things turned out. You met a good man. You work with passion. And here, Doris tucked a loose curl behind Lucys ear, youve given me this treasure.

Matthew squealed and reached for Doris, and she scooped him up, planting a kiss on his nose.

Perhaps I spent too much time hunting husbands and too little celebrating the wild, sweet ways our lives surprise us, Doris said. Maybe rest comes not from knowing everythings sorted, but from trusting the world to twist and bloom as it pleases.

Outside, the birds fluttered through spring branches. Lucy squeezed Doriss hand, her heart light.

Youre right, Granny. And who knows? Maybe Matthew will have a little sister someday. Or maybe just more stories to tell.

Doris chuckled.

Either way, my dear, well be waiting. And, oh, what adventures will come next!

In that bright kitchen, with toast and laughter and the promise of yet another sunrise, Doris Hill truly felt at peace, her family gathered closelife, after all, still deliciously unpredictable.