You’re a Wife, So You Must Endure – After Hearing These Words from My Mother-in-Law, I Felt Even Worse

Whenever a wedding happened in the family back then, it was a stirring occasion for us all. There would be great excitement and happiness in the air.

Still, people always seem to look at life from only one angle, as though everything is one-sided, when in truth, every story has two faces, like the two sides of a coin.

I dont think marriage is a dreadful thing, dont misunderstand me. Yet many women still believe that happiness can only be found through marriage and starting a family. Particularly, young girls often dont grasp what marriage truly means or what it demands of someone.

Their greatest ambition is to get married, and from there imagine that everything will simply fall into place.

Let me tell you what I experienced. I once believed that if I married the man I loved and bore his child, I would be the happiest woman in Britain.

Sadly, marriage brought a host of new troubles into my life. We hadnt even begun to put money aside to buy a house when I learned I was expecting a baby. Nowadays, the cost of raising a child is quite burdensome.

We were overjoyed to learn I was pregnant. My husband was running his own business, while I was on maternity leave, wracked with a sense of financial uncertainty. Even saving for a house felt beyond our reach. Motherhood itself was an immense challenge for meour son was restless and constantly unwell, I was perpetually short of sleep, and my nerves were so shot that I could barely manage myself. There was a time when I even longed to run away. Not every woman, you see, is made to be the anchor that holds the family together.

I only wish Id understood that sooner. When our son was two, my husband lost his business. He sank into a deep gloom. And where there is despair, theres sure to be a tumbler or two of gin. I had no choice but to take matters into my own hands. I enrolled our child at nursery and managed to hold down two full-time jobs. I slogged through each day, scraping by, while my husband slept off his drink in bed. It was so overwhelming at times that I felt I might scream. Had I been alone, I daresay I could have managed, whether it be the money, the exhaustion, or my own sanity.

One day, I begged my mother-in-law to have a word with her son, to set him straight. After all, it isnt like an Englishman to sit idly by and give up on earning a living. That same day, I bared my soul to herI told her plainly that I was struggling, that I hardly knew how I could carry on.

Id hoped for some comfort, a gentle word or two. Instead, my mother-in-law said this to me: Youre not the only one facing hard times, you know. But as a woman, you must bear it. Theres no room for weakness in a wife.

She told me that a woman is the glue that keeps the family from falling apart, that I was to hold my tongue when I wanted to shout and turn a blind eye rather than weep. She said, whatever our lot, accept it and get on with your life. No more complaints.

Ill admit, her words pierced me like a knife.

She too is a woman and must surely find it all difficult, and yet rather than helping each other she only told me to close my eyes and endure. But how much more can anyone stand? One life is all were given, and surely were meant to live it as smoothly and joyfully as we can. There will be hardships, yesbut not like this. A womans fate ought to be to live cheerfully and be cherished.