The Crystal Kitten

The Crystal Kitten

“Three little sisters sat by the window…”

Mum, isnt that like you and your sisters?

Clara sighed, a smile touching her lips. Almost. Are you planning to sleep at all tonight? Ive still got work to do, and youll be nodding off at your own party tomorrow.

Oh! Okay, Im asleep! I promise! Polly dived under her duvet, but her button nose soon popped back out. Will there be balloons? Is Millie coming? And

Clara grabbed her daughter, snuggled her tight in the blanket, and smothered her with kisses, ignoring the little groans of protest.

Enough, darling sleep now! Youll find out everything tomorrow!

She tucked a well-loved teddy into Pollys waiting hands and slipped out, leaving the nightlight glowing. Polly was still nervous of the dark, and Clara always made sure lights burned gently throughout the house.

Downstairs, Clara softly shut the kitchen door behind her and switched on her laptop. There was plenty that needed doing, but she allowed herself a few moments in the quiet, gathering her thoughts. Tomorrow would be a long day and not just because it was Pollys birthday and she had everything to organise. That bit she truly loved. Birthdays, especially for her daughter, brought her real joy. Tomorrow, though, relatives would gather, and that thought didnt quite fill her with the same happiness. She shook herself, stretching for the kettle. No, best to worry about problems as they came. The urgent thing tonight was the year-end accounts, and those certainly wouldnt wait. Her tea steaming beside her, Clara dug a folder from her bag. She was glad, in hindsight, that shed listened to her gran and become an accountant. Had she chosen marine biology, as shed once wanted, life wouldve been much more unpredictable more romantic, perhaps, but not half as secure. Clara closed her eyes for a moment and pictured the sea. Not long now, and she and Polly would be whisked off on a summer holiday, if nothing got in the way. With a sigh and a hopeful smile, Clara opened her folder and got to work.

Clara was born to Linda and William Harris. Their much-awaited first child; both sets of grandparents were overjoyed, and her parents doted on their rosy-cheeked little girl.

You must have another quick! Children need playmates, the grandmothers insisted, and Linda was persuaded.

So, only a year and a bit separated Clara from her middle sister, Hope. They were best friends as girls, competing in everything, yet still loving each other deeply. Mostly, it was friendly rivalryeach strove to do even better whenever the other succeeded, and they cheered each other on. Linda made sure the girls stayed close, always telling them that no one else in the world would ever be as precious as they were to each other. She persuaded the headteacher to put them in the same class. Sitting at the same desk that September morning, their new shoes touched, tiny gestures of reassuranceI’m here, dont worry. Clara felt the nerves, more so than Hope. Clara was always the responsible one; Hope might dodge a maths exercise and start counting birds from the window instead, but Clara never rose from her chair until every last bit of homework was done.

Clara! Wheres your maths book? Youve finished, havent you? Give it here Ill copy it and lets go out!

Do it properly! Clara would snatch her exercise book away. Remember last time Galina separated us for the test and you had no idea what you were doing? Want help with the new topic?

Hope would grumble and sulk, but never for long. In half an hour, shed be tugging at Claras sleeve, begging to go skating or feed the ducks by the pond.

They were in year six when their youngest sister, Lucy, arrived. Linda hadnt planned for a third baby; two girls were certainly enough. The news that another was on the way didnt exactly fill her with joy.

Not again! William, Im hardly a spring chicken anymore, you know. This will be hard.

Come on, love, youve got two helpers, and Im here as well. Well manage. And it could be a boythink what a surprise that would be!

As it turned out, there was no surprise. Little Lucy was bornloud, demanding, and so unlike her sisters that Linda was lost at first. That didnt last. Clara and Hope quickly realisedLucy had become the new heart of the family.

Linda soon felt the contrast between her first two and this late-in-life motherhood. She remembered the exhaustion, the yearning for just a moments peace. Now, she poured all her energy and time into her youngest, pushing everything else aside. The older girls found themselves busier than ever with errands and looking after Lucy, their mother now uninterested in their lives. It snuck up unnoticedthe moment a black cat crept between the sisters.

That cat was called Sam. He lived on the next street and was beneath the girls noticeuntil Claras sixteenth. She was hurrying home from netball practice when Sam approached her outside their block.

Clara, can I talk to you? He was shy under her steady grey gaze, unsure of what to say.

Clara studied him for a moment, then smiled softly. I cant stop, Sam. Mums waiting. Six oclock, by the gate.

Sams face lit up, and he nodded. I like you a lot.

So I noticed, she laughed, her voice twinkling like a bell beneath the lime trees, and skipped off.

Who could she share this with? That first flutterthe intimacy of meeting someone whod only just become yours. Her first real date, when you dont know what to do with your hands, afraid to meet someones eyes. Her first kissso scary, yet so sweet. Of course, Clara told Hope in the end, though not right away. Hope kept pestering her until she confessed.

Later, Hope could never explain what came over her. She didnt fancy Sambut suddenly, she craved his attention more than anything.

Clara didnt notice, until it was too late. She walked past Sam and Hope in the park one afternoon, as they kissed. Clara said nothing, just went straight home, locked her door, and ignored Lucys outraged shouts in the hallway.

Clara! What on earths got into you?! Let Lucy in this minute! Linda knocked crossly.

Clara, always obedient, opened the door. Linda took one look at her eldest and her heart missed a beat; for the first time, she glimpsed a real chasm between them. Gently, she shooed Lucy away and closed the door herself.

Clara, darling? Whats wrong? Tell me

It hurts, Mum. Clara hugged herself. Why? Why would Hope do that?

When shed learned the story, Linda hugged her tight. My poor lovewhat can I do for you?

Clara stared dry-eyed out the window without answering. How do you tell anyone how pain like that burns? It felt impossible to put into words.

Help me pack, Mum. I want to stay at Grans for a while. I cant stay here.

Hope burst in, cheeks red from the cold, and stopped short when she saw the suitcase.

Oh! Where are you off to?

Clara brushed past without replying and left, never to return. Linda, wiping away tears, slapped Hope.

How could you?

Hope, clutching her cheek, watched as her mother picked up Lucy and slammed the door so hard the pendants on the chandelier jingled mournfully.

No one in the Harris family ever managed to stay angry for long. After a week or two, Linda spoke to Hope again. It took over two years for Clara and Hope to talk. Maybe Clara never would have, if not for Lindas illness, which forced the sisters together, united against their mums illness.

Im so sorry Hope kept her eyes on her trembling hands.

They were sitting in the hospital grounds, waiting for the op to finish.

Dont dwell, Clara finally replied, turning to her.

And in that moment, Hope knew that Clara might have forgiven her, but could never quite forget.

Timidly, Hope reached out and squeezed Claras thin wrist, surprised her fingers obeyed her at once. Clara didnt pull back, nor did she squeeze back. They sat together, silent, for hoursuntil their father came out and told them the surgery was a success, and that all they could do now was wait.

The sisters shared the load, and Clara came in several times each week, caring for her mum and looking after Lucy. That was when Clara first realised how spoiled and wild her youngest sister had become. Lucy would obey no one, doing as she pleased, always. Neither sisters nor parents could sway her.

When Linda recovered, the sisters drifted apart again. Clara moved away to Exeter to look after her paternal grandmother, and stayed when Gran passed away a year later, leaving her a spacious flat.

Live, my dear! Make your own way. Remember, even the dearest can turn cold when their own interests are at stake, her gran had said.

Clara had simply smiled back wryly. She didnt need to explain the details.

After a few years, Clara married, quietly, inviting no family. There was barely a weddingshe and Andrew simply slipped off to the registry office together. Andrew had no relatives, and Clara didnt want hers there.

Their married life was gentle and stable, only missing one thing: a child. Both longed for a family, but nothing happened, though doctors found nothing amiss.

Well just keep hoping, Clara said firmly.

Years passed, and they considered adoption. But fate had its own ideas.

Claras ties with her family were mostly limited to cards and birthday calls. She brought Andrew along for a few brief visits with Linda and William, but her parents never warmed to him, and Clara gently but firmly stopped their interference.

I chose him. Youll have to accept that, Mum.

Of course, darling Its your life. But with your career and looks, you could have found anyone! Think what life could have been.

Clara couldnt explain to her mother that there was no better man on earth for her than Andrew. With him, life was simple and easy. Though Clara had become the chief accountant at a major firm, and Andrew was just a driver, it never mattered between them who was in charge. They were simply happy together. Clara knew if ever something went wrong, Andrew would be therehe doted on her, nursed her through coughs and colds, never shied from housework or cooking.

You got lucky! Hope would sigh, running after her eldest and juggling her baby daughter. I do everything myself. My Tony just points out what I havent done and never helps.

Clara let her sisters moaning wash over her, knowing Hope secretly liked her own life. The same couldnt be said about Lucy.

Lucy blossomed into a beauty verging on spectacular. The older sisters were pretty enough, but Lucys looks put them in the shade.

Lucys our queen, Linda would say proudly, watching Lucy sprawl lazily in the armchair as the elder girls laid the table for a family celebration. Lucy hated these gatherings, always leaving after ten minutes, undeterred by her parents disappointment.

After school, Lucy decided she was done with education. Ill be a model! she announced. She had not realised how demanding the workload would be, and soon tired of it. When the first wealthy businessman crossed her path, Lucy moved into the flat he rented for her. She knew he was married, with two children, but it hardly bothered her. When her mother tried to intervene, Lucy snapped, Dont interfere if you want to see me at all. Ill live as I choose!

Lucy wanted much, but received very little. Trying to secure her lover, Lucy got pregnantonly the fairytale ended swiftly. There were rows, shouting matches, threats to reveal all to his wife. The wife simply measured Lucy with a cold gaze and drawled, My dear, youre not his first. Nor the last. Hell never leave me.

Youre so sure? Lucy retorted, thinking how pale this woman was, yet strangely unbothered.

Naturally. Your naivety is touching. Do you think youre the first to make this complaint? She sneered. Have your baby if you like, but expect nothing. He will always come back to his own.

And that was that. Lucy spent days alone, furious, only to be shattered when her lover came home.

You sort yourself out. Ill pay rent, and maintenance. But were done. I want nothing to do with your child. You show up hereyou get nothing.

Lucy stared in disbelief at the closing door. She always got what she wanted. But now…

So, while she was wrapped up in her dramas, the months went by and little Polly was born. From day one, it was Linda who cared for her. Lucy lurched between obsessive parentingnever letting anyone but Linda near the childand disappearing for days. Linda was at her wits end and didnt know what to do. Then, tragedy struck: one wild night out, Lucy found herself in a car whose driver lost control. That was the end.

Linda, her strength gone, stopped caring for Polly and shut herself into grief. William tried splitting time between his wife and granddaughter, but struggled. He asked Hope for help.

Ive got enough of my own, Dad. I cant manage another child.

So William called Clara.

She didnt hesitate. Not one questionshe took leave at work and came home. In a month, all the paperwork was sorted, and Clara brought her year-old niece to live with her and Andrew. Only Claras parents and Hope knew Polly wasnt their daughter. While Clara worked through the formalities, Andrew sold their flat and finished up their new house at a run.

Andrew! You really are wonderful, you know. Its all just how I wanted! Clara whirled about the house, imagining their new life.

Polly brought with her all the joy and meaning that Clara and Andrew had longed fora bright, lively, clear-voiced little girl who filled their days with laughter. The next nine years flew by in a blink.

Clara had little to do with her family, except for the odd holiday. Then, she usually felt like an insect under a magnifying glass. Linda never recovered from Lucys death, and became impossible.

You were trusted! Ill make sure you cope, see if you can manage! Taking her away thinking of yourself instead of your mother!

Clara tried to ignore Lindas reproaches, sincerely feeling for her. However bitter it was, Clara knew if anything happened to her or Hope, it wouldnt devastate their mother like losing Lucy. Lucy had always been different.

When Linda looked at Pollyso like her lost daughterher heart softened.

Shes growing such a beauty, shed say, dabbing her eyes and warning Clara, Dont stifle her! Let her be happy.

Clara would gently squeeze Andrews hand, asking him silently not to voice the protests she knew he was holding back.

Let it be, shed catch his gaze, and the atmosphere would calm before a row could start.

But why, Clara? Wouldnt it be better to say whats what? Andrew would whisper.

I dont know, love. I feel sorry for Mum. All that anger comes from pain.

And why must you put up with it? Andrew would say.

Because Im hereand no one else is, shed reply.

And what if she says something hurtful to Polly?

I dont think shell do that. She wouldnt hurt Lucys child.

In that, Clara was right. Linda poured all her pain onto Clara, but was silent as a rock when it came to her granddaughter. She could see Polly was happy. Though it pained Linda that Polly called Clara Mum, she kept quiet, knowing the truth would only harm the child.

Clara closed her laptop and stretched. Good heavens! It was past midnight. Draining her now-cold tea, she wandered to the window. What a shame Andrew was away with work today of all days. Still, hed be back tomorrowmaybe not for the main party, but certainly by evening. She wondered what surprise he was bringing for Polly. Hed only smiled and said, Wait and see. Youll both love it.

Clara smiled too, thinking how lucky she was in her husband, and headed to bed.

***

Mum! Happy birthday to me! Polly bounced onto the bed, waking Clara with kisses. And you! I congratulate you on me!

Thank you! Clara hugged her daughter and looked her in the eye. Happy birthday, darling. I wish you health and joy, always!

Polly snuggled into Clara, nose pressed to her mums neck, and dozed off again.

Am I grown up now?

Oh yes! Ten today! But you know what?

What?

For me, youll always be a little bit small! Clara squinted playfully, and Polly giggled.

I like being small! Everyone loves the little ones best!

Not ashamed, are you? Who doesnt love you here?

Clara tickled her, making her squeal and wriggle.

All right, time for presents! Clara reached into her bedside table. Ive got something special for you.

She handed over a small box.

Be gentle!

Polly opened the lid carefully.

Mum Her eyes shone. Is it?

Yes! Clara nodded.

Polly raised a tiny crystal kitten from the boxa beloved heirloom her Grandpa William once gave Clara.

For the eldest daughter thats what Grandpa said, wasnt it?

Thats right.

Thank you! Ive wanted this to be mine for ages! Polly stroked the kittens tiny ears. “Mumbut Im your only daughter…”

Clara smiled, and Polly searched her face.

Really? she whispered, hardly daring to believe. Clara nodded, and Polly jumped up, clutching her little prize and shouting at the top of her voice, Hooray! Im going to be a big sister! Mummy, do you know who?

Not yet, my love.

Clara watched Polly hop around the room, and suddenly felt close to tears. Theyd waited so many years for this.

Polly stopped in her tracks. Turning to Clara, she said, Thats the best present youve ever given me!

Clara threw back the duvet and got up.

Polly started bouncing around the room again, while Clara fetched a huge box from the wardrobe.

This is for you too.

A beautiful new dress left Polly breathless. Twirling before the mirror, she asked, Mum, when will everyone get here?

Clara checked the clock and gasped. Weve overslept! Come on, well have to hurry, darling!

They managed itand by lunchtime, a radiant Polly in her new frock was welcoming guests, her gleeful laughter ringing through the house.

Hows things? Linda asked, sinking into an armchair and giving her daughter a stern look.

All fine, Mum. Pollys finished the year brilliantlyall top grades. Piano, too. Shes a complete joy.

Make sure you cherish that joy, Clara. Not everyone gets so lucky.

Clara sighed. It grew harder each year to talk with her mother. Luckily, Hope wandered in from the kitchen and changed the subject. She chatted on about her children and husband, as Clara half-listened, noting absently that her eldest, Millie, had also finished the year top of her class and that Vinnie was now the district boxing champion.

A loud shout from Polly cut through the house, and Clara raced to the playroom. She stopped shortPolly was sobbing in the middle of the room, her lovely white dress covered in stains. Clara gasped and grabbed her hands.

Hope! First aid kit, on top of the fridge! Quick!

Everyone bustled about. Millie sat sullenly in the corner, eyes fixed on Polly.

Polly, sweetheart, what happened? Clara asked, frightened.

Its not true! Shes lying! Liar!

Whos lying? Clara tried to puzzle it all out.

The cuts were shallow. After shed bandaged Pollys hands and changed her, Clara took her into the bedroom and sat her on her lap.

Will you tell me what happened?

For a while, Polly just clung to her, face hidden in Claras shoulder. Then she looked up with eyes so like Claras own.