BLAZE OF INFERNO

25April2025

Dear Diary,

This evening turned the house into a stage for a family farce I never imagined rehearsing. It began with my motherinlaw, Irene Parker, booming from the kitchen, Let your wife stay at the cottage for now. She went on to announce that her old friend Martha and the girl shed brought along were due to arrive, intending to linger for a weekor perhaps longer.

I stared at Victor, my husband, who looked as stunned as I felt. Mum, whos this friend? he shouted, halfjoking, halfpanicked. The one and only! Irene replied, marching off to the pantry. I asked, Where am I supposed to go then? and she snapped back, Liz, you heard every word I said, didnt you? Her tone was sharp as a knife.

She rummaged through the cupboard, pulling out crystal glassesthe very ones reserved for distinguished guests. Well, she said to Victor, when will you send her off?

Who, Mum? I asked, confused.

Victor, stop playing the fool, Irene rolled her eyes. Your wife, the simple one.

Why not just book a hotel for your friend? I ventured, hoping for a sensible solution.

Are you out of your mind? Have you seen the rates? Martha will have to stay at the cottage until we can afford a proper room, otherwise shell embarrass us.

Ill move to the cottage too. Summers here, lets take some leave and unwind.

Victor agreed, Thats a good idea.

Irene, however, protested, No! You, my son, are needed here!

My dear, we have a threebed flat. You have your own room, we have ours, and the living room is empty. Martha could use that.

After that first encounter with Irenes mysterious friend, I realised the road ahead would be rocky. Irene had been openly opposed to my marriage, refusing even to attend the wedding. It was only my brotherinlaw, Victors sister Eleanor, who dragged her there.

Two months have passed since the ceremony and Irene still hasnt welcomed me. We now live in Victors parents house; his father passed away about a year ago, and Irene fears being alone.

Fine, she finally said, then let your wife stay in her room and never leave it.

My goodness, Irene, how do you imagine that working? I retorted, exasperated.

She muttered, Ill think of something.

Mom, when is this mysterious friend arriving?

Soon enough, she glanced at her watch.

Just then the doorbell rang. How punctual, I thought, surprised.

Irene sprinted to answer; Victor and I followed.

Good afternoon, Sue! a booming voice called.

Hello, Irene! replied a cheerful lady.

The large woman entered, followed by a teenage girl.

Meet my little princess! Irene clapped her hands excitedly.

Do you have a name for this princess? Victor teased.

Angela! the girl announced, a sturdy girl of about twelve stone.

Irene turned to Victor, This is my son, Victor. I told you about him, remember?

Victor smiled, Of course, a good lad.

And this, Irene gestured at the girl, is his cousin, a secondcousin!

My jaw dropped, while Victor burst into laughter.

Irene, you, Victor began, but a sudden arm pulled me toward the hallway.

Lizzie, lets keep quiet for now, he whispered.

Whats that supposed to mean? I asked, bewildered.

You havent caught on yet, have you? he replied. Mum didnt invite Martha without a plan.

Its starting to make sense, I whispered. Your mothers found a new wife for me.

Well watch what they do next, but well always have time to speak the truth, Victor murmured.

Back in the hallway the guests were shedding coats.

Victor, help Angela with her lovely little backpack, Irene commanded.

Where are our rooms? I asked.

Here, Sue, Irene pointed, leading them into the sitting room.

That night we sat down to dinner. Irene had laid a festive spread worthy of Christmas, with a roast chicken and potatoes at the centre, surrounded by side dishes. Angela sat in the middle, flanked by her mother and Irene. I was placed at a separate table, as Irene decreed.

Angela, dont be shy, dig in, Irene urged.

Shes been losing her appetite lately, Sue complained, shes even gotten thinner.

What happened to her? Irene asked, concerned.

Unrequited love, Sue sighed. She fell for a lad who kept running away!

Maybe she wanted to eat him! Victor blurted, causing me to nearly fall off my chair with laughter.

Victor, wheres your decorum? Irene snapped at her son.

Sorry, I didnt mean any offense, he stammered.

The dinner progressed and the mothers had a few glasses of wine each.

I have something important to say, Sue announced.

Victor leaned in, whispering, Theyll start matchmaking soon.

Dear Irene, dear Victor, dear sister! I wish our families to be united. My princess here is obliged to marry you, Victor! Sue declared dramatically.

We agree! Irene cried, clapping her hands.

Victor laughed again, and I bolted from the kitchen.

I have something important too! I shouted, returning a minute later.

What now? Irene growled.

Im pregnant! I announced loudly.

Talk nonsense, Irene retorted.

Its from your son, Irene, I said, brandishing a pregnancy test showing two clear lines.

Angela stared at the chicken, while Sues gin disappeared down her throat.

From a secondcousin? Irene asked, eyes wide.

Whats the big deal? Weve been together for a while, we even held a mock wedding! Victor defended.

Angela, up and out, now! Sue commanded.

But Mum, I havent even finished my chicken, Angela protested, pouting.

Were leaving this sinful house! Sue declared, dragging Angela toward the door.

Irene chased after them, Sue, dont mind them, theyre just joking.

Your jokes are dreadful! Irene, perhaps we should end this association, I said, feeling the weight of the evening lift.

Soon the two stout women vanished, leaving Victor and me alone at the table, chuckling over the absurdity of it all.

Irene spent the next week sulking, but we paid her little heed.

Tonight, I finally feel a strange peace settling over the chaos, and perhaps a hint of hope that tomorrow will be a little less theatrical.

Lizzie.