How My Mother-in-Law Ended Up Without a Home: Why I Refuse to Support My Brother-in-Law’s Family or Rent Them a Flat, and the Story of the Three-Bedroom Apartment I Bought Before Marriage

How My Mother-in-Law Ended Up Without a Home

I’m convinced we have no obligation to support my brother-in-law and his family, let alone rent a flat for them. Let me just start off by saying that I own the three-bedroom flat we live in, and I bought it in a right dreadful state before we ever got married. Imagine, the front door was literally resting against the frame rather than attached! At the time I was simply glad of the price, thinking I could fix up the place bit by bit. But that isn’t really the heart of the matter today.

When I first met my husband, I’d already refurbished two of the rooms and managed to get a few bits of furniture in. The flat was quite livable by then.

My husband was dashing and tall, but at the time he was living in rented accommodation. We dated for a few months before he moved in with me, and after we got married we converted one of the rooms into a nurseryfirst for our son, then our daughter.

Life was going along splendidly until one chilly, blustery autumn evening, when our peaceful routine was disrupted by a surprise visit from my mother-in-law. She arrived on the doorstep in tears, her arms weighed down with luggage.

Could I stay for a bit? she sobbed. My other sons moved his girlfriend into my flat. Perhaps theyll settle down together, maybe even get married one day and live there happily ever after. I wont be a botherIll help out, collect the children from school and nursery, cook their dinners. Theres no one else I can turn to!

She was clearly distraught so, of course, we let her in. We gave her the biggest bedroom. My husbands mother had retired ages ago, and to her credit, she did exactly as she promised, helping with the children. She rarely visited her own place now, as her youngest son had made himself quite at home there. He was living in her one-bedroom council flat with his new wife and their two childrenone of them theirs, the other from a previous relationship.

Years ago, my brother-in-law had married his school sweetheart right after sixth form. My in-laws then sold their family home; the proceeds bought a studio flat for themselves and a two-bedroom flat for him. Shortly afterwards, my father-in-law fell ill and passed away.

My brother-in-law and his first wife had two children before divorcing, and he left the flat to her and the kids. Now, shes living there with her new husband and three children. After the divorce, my brother-in-law returned to live with his mother, assuring her, Mum, Ill just be here for a while. Im back on my feet and making plans! Ill sort myself out, find a place soon. But things obviously hadnt gone to plan, and before long hed moved his latest girlfriend in with his mother.

Nearly every weekend, my mother-in-law would turn up at ours with her grandkids from both of my brother-in-laws relationships. Honestly, it was like running a madhouse.

A year later, my husband and I told his mum she really needed to sort out her living arrangements. She fell apart againtears, full-blown hysterics.

So, I tried talking to my brother-in-law, suggesting it was time for him to give his mums flat back to her. He flat-out refused, said he had kids and a low salary so couldnt manage to rent anywhere. And what am I meant to do with that?

Things between me and my mother-in-law have become unbearable lately. Most days, I dont even want to come home after work. Finally, I sat down with my husband, laid it all out, and told him he had to resolve the situation with his mum, or Id be seeing a solicitor about a divorce.

My words left him speechlesshe had no idea where his mother could even go; after all, you cant just put your own mother out on the street.

I told him she could rent a small flatthankfully, weve got the means to help her get started. But my mother-in-law refused point-blank. Instead, she insisted we rent a two-bedroom place for my brother-in-law and his family so she could move back into her own home.

I found the cheek of it incredible, and made it clear: if she didnt move out within a week, Id simply put her belongings outside. Honestly, what other choice is there?

I really dont see why we should be responsible for supporting my brother-in-laws family, and especially not housing them as well!