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З життя

I Can Hardly Believe It!

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I cannot believe it. Once again, as twenty years ago, I find myself twirling with you in a waltz. Do you recall our last encounter? It was the school promenade. We danced the same gentle waltz, happiness hanging in the air like perfume. I sank into the abyss of your eyesdeep, sapphire, endless. That evening I longed to tell you the most important thing: that soon we would become parents. When I finally whispered it, you blew up in anger and snapped, Its too early to think about that. We must wait. It struck me like a hot iron. I knew the timing was wrong, yet I felt powerless to change it. We went our separate ways, but my love for you lingered for years. You had wounded my heart then; my spirit shattered into fragments. I knew you would never regret, never understand, never repent. Your temperament was as hard as flint, and that, paradoxically, was what I adored about you.

Our former classmates kept me apprised of your private life. I learned you were married, with two grown sons, divorced, and still attending every alumni gathering. You always asked after my affairs, yet none of the old schoolmates ever learned anything about me. I never attended those reunions, fearing youafraid that if I met your gaze I would disappear, drown, and never surface again. That fear lingered for a decade.

Then, in the middle of my life, He appeared. I rushed into marriage with him, feeling nothing but gratitude. He understood, never pressed, and welcomed my daughter as his own. I named the girl Love, for I could not think of any other name; her curls reminded me of you. My husband loves me, I feel it in every cell. His deeds, his words, even his glance speak of tenderness. Five years into our union I realized I had truly fallen for my own husband. He somehow wrapped his words around me like an anchor, quietly finding the key to my soul, and I entered his doors of kindness and understanding with relief. No one could ever trespass upon our love.

Love saves everything, Victor. You never loved me; I was just a youthful amusement to you. That, at least, rings true.

And now I find myself babbling about myself. Victor, how have you been?
Oh, Poppy Im living by the skin of my teeth. Its a bit chaotic, like a horse without a bridle. The boys are on their own, each with his own worries. Im on my own, but I often think of you

Hmm My husband and I have three children: Love and a pair of sixyearold twin girls. Do you remember your best friend, George Ustin?
Ustin? Of course! He was not only my best friend but the only one. After school he cut off our friendship, ignored my calls, avoided meetings Ive lost track of him.

Victor, come to the window. Look at the schoolyard.

Victor peered out, unable to tear his eyes from what he saw.

I understand, Poppy. I understand everything now How tangled our fates have been!

Below, in the schoolyard, stood George Ustin, holding the hands of two little children. Beside him stood a young woman of about twenty, her eyes a striking, deep blue

Farewell, Victor! Im going to my family.

Poppy, why did you decide to come to the reunion this year?

I was no longer afraid, Victor. I look at you now, and my soul is finally quiet.

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