I’ll Always Be By Your Side

I Will Always Be There for You

Oh, please, dont start on this again! Weve had this conversation a million times! Why do you have to keep bringing it up? Emma waved her hand dismissively, turning back to the stove with a weary sigh.

It had been one of those completely joyless days. It started at five in the morning when my son, Benjamin, appeared at my bedside and tapped my shoulder.

Mum! My throat hurts!

Without really waking up, I pressed my lips to his forehead, and in an instant, any sleepiness vanished.

Yes, youre a bit warm, love. Come on. I scooped Ben up and quietly closed the bedroom door behind us. The last thing I wanted was to hear Jack complaining about not getting his rest.

After taking Bens temperature and giving him some paracetamol, I tucked him back into bed. Looking at the clock, I decided it wasnt worth trying to go back to sleep myself. Best to wait until the doctors surgery opened and call in. Once I saw Ben had drifted off, I crept into the kitchen, made myself a coffee, and gazed out the window.

Winter this year had been exceptionally snowy unusual for London. Even now the garden was blanketed in white, fresh and untouched except for the faint lines of early-risers hurrying to work. A sudden movement caught my eye, making me chuckle; Mrs. Adams cat, Oliver, was leaping and diving in the snow, vanishing into drifts and reappearing out of nowhere. What a day for the cat to go for a run! But Oliver never was bothered by weather fiercely independent, he refused to use a litter tray, so Mrs. Adams would let him out at all hours. And if she was too slow, the entire block could hear his dramatic yowling. Still, to his credit, Oliver had never once made a mess indoors. Just yesterday, collecting Ben from nursery, Id watched Oliver marching out past Mrs. Adams, loudly scolding her for the delay.

Go on with you! Dont give me that attitude! Hello, Emma love, look at this rascal! Sometimes I feel he owns me, not the other way round. What a little general he is! I was late getting home and now Im getting the business.

Hello, Mrs. Adams! Hes quite the chap, isnt he?

That he is! You wont find another like him. Must be my fate, raising serious men

I smiled, nodded goodbye, and went on my way. There was nothing else to be said. Mrs. Adams son, Matthew, really was a serious sort: clever, with a dry sense of humour few bothered to notice. Most people dismissed him as a scrawny, bespectacled guy, not much to look at the sort girls never noticed. But Id known Matt for as long as I could remember. Hed always been there for me, even as kids.

Mum died when I was ten, hit by a car at the crossing. She was crossing at the lights, did everything right, but it made no difference. Back then, that shattered my belief that rules kept you safe.

Matt and I were both ten when it happened. The grief hit me so hard I just shut down. I stopped talking, cried constantly, pulled away from anyone who tried to comfort me, and locked myself away. My dad took me to see a therapist, and she said my health was starting to suffer from the stress.

Oddly enough, it was Matt who helped most. Hed lost his own dad two years earlier, perhaps he understood the pain better than any adult. Matt was always around, spending days at my house. Mrs. Adams never minded; she felt for me, and she and the neighbours tried to help however they could: bringing meals, staying with me if my dad had to go out. Never once did Matts mum complain when he stayed late, reading with me, sticking close, making me finish homework, coaxing me to dance classes and gymnastics Mum had signed me up for, hoping I’d grow up strong and graceful. Little by little, Matts constant care brought me out of my shell.

One memorable day, Matt and I found a tiny, abandoned kitten on the street and brought her back to Mrs. Adams. It was the first time Id spoken in weeks, asking if there was any milk to feed her. Mrs. Adams handed me a bottle, whispering quietly, Thank God, shes back.

The kitten stayed with Matt my father, Colin, turned out to have an allergy.

Matt and I remained inseparable. As only children, we found in each other the support, friendship, and sense of kinship we so desperately needed. We often didnt have to say out loud what we were thinking; we could finish each others sentences. Adults noticed, but never interfered, appreciating that our odd friendship made life a little easier for kids whod lost so much.

Everything stayed simple until the end of secondary school. Id grown into a lively, clever girl, and soon enough, boys started calling. Matt watched quietly from the wings; he knew none of them truly mattered to me until Jack came along.

Id met Jack after slipping on the icy steps outside the gym. He offered me his hand, and as I got up, I laughed off the fall. He was tall, good-looking the hero sort, exactly the kind you never expect to fall for in real life. Id always dismissed love at first sight as a myth, yet suddenly found myself smitten.

Im done for, Matt! Hes just I dont know how to explain. The best! I twirled about the living room. You could at least pretend to be happy for me!

For my best friend of course Im happy. Matt forced a smile, then excused himself.

But I was too preoccupied to notice his change in mood. Three years passed with Jack, and then we decided we were grown up enough to get married, telling our families and booking the registry office.

Shame I have to have a bridesmaid. Why cant I just have a friend-of-the-bride instead? I grumbled, trying on my altered wedding dress.

Matt, who had driven me to the dress shop, watched from the bench. Hed recovered after the assistant tried to throw him out for seeing me in the dress.

Hes not the groom! I explained, laughing. Hes my friend.

Friend, is he the seamstress mused.

Whats so odd about that? People can be friends, cant they? Matt said, trying to hurry things along. Emma, we’ve got the cake to sort, and I need to get to work after.

Ill be quick! I called, dashing into the changing room.

Looking back, I often wondered how I failed to see Jacks faults at first all the little things that would soon annoy me, even make me angry. I suppose Id grown up thinking my knight would always rescue, cherish, and care for me, just like Matt had done for so long. Turns out, real-life princes and fairy-tales are far more complicated.

The first cracks in our marriage appeared just six months in, when I came down with a bad bout of tonsillitis. I soldiered on, determined to be the perfect wife, but it grew serious. The doctor recommended more tests some, unfortunately, private and not on the NHS. Jack was annoyed.

Thats a waste! Were saving our money for that holiday. Youre young and fine theyre just trying to milk you for every penny!

I was stunned. Are you serious?

Of course!

Really, Jack? Is a holiday more important than my health?

Youre perfectly healthy! Stop worrying. A bit of sun and youll feel right as rain. Youre just tired! He hugged me, oblivious that for the first time I didnt hug him back.

Dad paid for my tests, grumbling only under his breath. It took nearly a year for me to recover fully, and even then, some heart problems remained. The doctors could only offer ongoing therapy.

When I found out I was expecting, the midwife put me in the high-risk group.

Look, I just need you to take this seriously, all right? she said kindly. Pregnancy takes a lot out of you. Things look fine, but its a lot of strain. Think carefully.

Theres nothing to think about. Im keeping the baby, I said.

And with the help of the doctors, we managed. The last three months I spent mostly resting in hospital. Ben was born healthy, thank God, though only Dad and of course Matt truly understood what it cost me. Jack, meanwhile, seemed to be living his own life. When Ben was born, Jack was so overjoyed, he disappeared for three days on the razz with his mates, turning his phone off. At first I was frantic, asked Dad to check if he was okay. Dad arrived looking grim and simply hugged me.

Hes fine, Emma. Dont you go worrying.

Only seeing how much Jack adored his son stopped me calling the solicitor right then.

Jack doted on Ben, getting up with him at night, changing nappies, taking him for walks. But sometimes hed suddenly lose patience, ask me to take Ben away so he could have a break, before reverting to the world’s most devoted dad. I tried to ignore it, focusing on the good times. For a while, they outweighed the bad.

As for Jack and me we lived like two parallel lines, never really intersecting.

Ben was often poorly as a little one, and I was too busy to dwell on my odd marriage. I ferried Ben to endless doctors appointments, reluctant to ask Jack for help, not knowing if he’d fly off the handle or pitch in sweetly. My dad helped me learn to drive, babysitting Ben. Then Dad bought me a cheap but reliable little car, so I wasnt reliant on Jacks moods.

Dad had Jack sussed from early on, but kept quiet, waiting for me to speak up or come to my own decision. The only time he voiced any opinion was when Ben was two. I was utterly exhausted after several sleepless nights of fever, finally handing a sleeping Ben to Dad before collapsing by the sofa and nodding off on the floor. When I woke, Dad said quietly,

Emma, Im not here to give advice or ask questions just know youre not alone, all right?

Thanks, Dad. I do know that, honestly! Im just… not ready to talk about it yet, or make any decisions. Jack is still my husband, for now.

Dad hugged me silently.

All through those messy years, Matt was there, almost without me noticing picking up medicine if I couldnt leave Ben, shuttling us to the doctor if my car died, fetching the car from the garage, you name it. Sometimes I felt guilty relying on Matt so much, but I couldnt help it. He was the only person I trusted completely.

Now, watching the swirling snow from the kitchen and thinking about Matt coming home from work trips, I felt a little lighter if the doctor couldnt visit, Matt would drive us over. My car had packed up again, and money was tight. Jack claimed it all went into business, and my wages just covered essentials Bens constant illnesses meant I could only work part-time. Thankfully we still lived in Dads old flat, while hed moved out to a little bungalow in Kent for the peace and fresh air.

Checking the time, I rang the GP surgery luck! Our family doctor was back from holiday, and they booked a visit straight away.

I set my phone down and started breakfast. Jack wandered in, bleary-eyed.

What is it now? Why were you two up half the night?

Bens ill, I answered simply.

And that means I dont get any sleep? Whatever. Im having a shower, then get my breakfast sorted quickly for me loads on today.

I turned silently back to the hob. Breakfast, always, was more for Ben when he was under the weather, he loved convalescent food. Today, I made pancakes. Jack liked them too, so at least Id avoid an argument.

So, have you spoken to your dad?

No.

What are you waiting for?

I told you Im not discussing it with him. Im not asking him to put the flat in our name, and thats final.

Your stubbornness is getting on my nerves. I pay the bills, but you and Ben are always after something money, favours. I work all hours, havent had a holiday in years, and still, its not enough!

Jack went on, but I wasnt listening anymore. In that moment, I felt something snap inside that old connection that kept me hoping. Somehow, the memories, the kisses, the wedding, the birth of our son they all faded.

I gently set down the spatula and faced him.

Ill say this once, Jack and youll listen. Today, you’ll pack your things and leave. Were getting divorced. I cant do this anymore not for me, not for you. But we have Ben. Lets focus on him, make sure he has two parents who care for him, even if were not together.

Jack stared at me in disbelief, began to grumble, then fell silent and threw his fork onto the table.

Have you finished? Youll regret this by tonight. Ill be at my parents hopefully youll have come to your senses.

You dont understand. Ive decided, Jack. You know me well enough to know what that means.

It means youre off your head. Wholl want you, with a kid in tow? Fine call me when you change your mind.

I turned back to the cooker, swallowing the tears.

Jack walked out without another word, the front door banging in his wake. I slumped into a chair and sobbed, not caring for a moment that Ben might wake. When I heard his little footsteps padding up the hallway, I quickly wiped my eyes and put breakfast out.

Well, the worlds bravest patient! Ready for breakfast?

Not too hungry, mum. My head hurts now too.

Do you think pancakes could help your head?

Yes! Ben grinned mischievously. With jam!

Of course.

After the doctor left, with prescriptions for medicine and advice, I was getting ready to go to the chemist. I nearly called Dad, but then there was a knock at the door. Only Matt ever knocked hed never used the bell. It was our thing.

Hi!

Hi! How are you two doing? Matt was holding a toy car for Ben. I realised I couldnt remember the last time Jack bought Ben anything. I always did it myself, but Matt never turned up empty-handed.

Bens poorly again. Could you sit with him? I just need to pop to the pharmacy.

Happy to. Or I can go instead got a list?

I handed over the list and off he went.

The phone rang almost as soon as he left.

This is Emma Thompson?

Yes.

This is St. Thomas Hospital. We have your father here.

Whats happened? My grip tightened on the phone.

Hes had a heart attack. Hes in a serious state.

Im coming now.

Suddenly I was spinning, not knowing what to do first. Dad had never even hinted at any heart trouble. It hit me how quickly you can lose someone you love, in an instant.

Automatically, I called Jack.

Jack

Oh, youve changed your mind? Now its my turn to

Jack, Dad’s in hospital. Heart attack.

And? What do you want from me now? Youre divorcing me, arent you?

I stared at the phone before hanging up.

Matt arrived just then, pharmacy bag in hand, and saw me dressed and ready to go.

Where are you off to?

Dads in hospital. Heart attack.

No more questions were needed. Matt fetched Mrs. Adams, who stayed with Ben, and he drove me straight to the hospital.

We waited for hours before there was any news. Sitting quietly together in A&E, I finally broke the silence:

Thank you I cant tell you how glad I am youre here right now.

Ill always be here for you, Emma, Matt said.

I know, Matt. I really do now.

Eventually, the doctor came out to see us. I had been asleep, my head on Matts shoulder. He gently woke me up.

Your fathers stable, in a room now. He has a long recovery ahead, but the worst is over. You should go home, check visiting hours at the desk, and see him tomorrow.

I hugged Matt, tears flowing, finally letting the pain of the last months wash away.

Sitting there, I realised the lesson life had been trying to teach me all along: Family isnt just about blood, but about who truly stands by you when you need it most. And for Ben and me, wed always have those who genuinely cared and that would always be enough.