I’m at a Loss: My Son Always Backs His Wife—Even When She’s in the Wrong

I havent the foggiest idea what to do, says sixtyyearold Margaret Thompson, her voice quivering with tears. My son, Michael, is forever on his wifes sideno matter how wrong she is. Whatever happens, whatever I say, he waves me off and says, Mum, dont worry, Julia will sort it out. Shes not daft. He always finds an excuse for her, even when shes clearly in the wrong!

Julia, Margarets daughterinlaw, is only twentyeight. She and Michael have a oneandahalfyearold son and live in a modest flat they bought on a mortgage. Julia is on maternity leave, while Michael is the sole earner. They get by on a tight budgetno luxuries, but certainly no lack of necessities.

Mrs. Thompson, however, cannot stomach Julia at all.

When Michael first brought her home, I was gobsmacked, Margaret recalls. She had long, fake nails, a tattoo on her neck, a short skirt, shoes that looked like runway heels, and lips that clearly had a professionals touch. I thought he was joking. How could my son possibly be dating someone so shall we say, lighthearted?

A month later they were married, and, in Margarets opinion, Julia turned the ceremony into a fashion showleather skirt, glittery top, stagemakeup. Michael was beaming, so Margaret decided to keep her mouth shut and simply watch.

At first she barely spoke to her new daughterinlaw, calling Michael a couple of times a month to ask how things were going. Everything changed a year and a half ago when baby Paul arrived.

I turned up on the second day after the discharge and what do I see? Fresh manicure. I blurted, Julia, have you lost your mind? Thats a hazard for a newborn! She replied, Dont worry, Ive got it under control. When I went to Michael, he said, Mum, stay out of it. This isnt your business. And thats the pattern noweverything I say is met with, Mind your own affairs.

Margaret tried to parent her daughterinlaw with advice, remarks and gentle scoldings, only to be met with indifference. Julia isnt one to make excuses for herself.

I drop by and the place is a mess. I tell her, Julia, could you make a proper soup for the baby? Hes working all day. She answers, Michael doesnt eat soup. How can he not? Hes had it already! Shes just lazy. If she cooked properly, hed have both soup and borscht on the table.

When Margaret tried to speak directly to Michael, he invariably defended Julia.

Mum, cut the nagging. Everythings fine. Julias a good mother.

A good mother?! Margaret exclaims. She never lifts her face from the phone! I havent seen her without a gadget for ages. Shes scrolling through Instagram even when the baby is right there.

The final straw happened on the playground.

I rang their doorbell and heard nothing. I thought they were out for a walk, so I went to the park. There was little Paul digging in the sand, and Julia perched on a bench, eyes glued to her phone. I got closer and saw Michael standing near the fence. Suddenly he ran to me, grinned, and shouted, Grandma! while Julia finally turned around. He bolted onto the road! Its a quiet street, but you never know what might turn up.

Thank heavens there were no cars at that moment, Julia whispered, trembling. I grabbed the child and ran to her, but she was sitting there like shed been hypnotised. I said, If you dont put that phone away right now, Ill smash it on the pavement! Are you a mother or what?

Julia sprang up, snatched Paul, and fled. The boy wailed, reaching for Margaret, but Julia slammed the door in her face and never opened it again.

I called Michael and told him everything, Margaret continues. He said, Mum, youve gone too far. Calm down. Julia can handle it. How can that be? I saw it all with my own eyes! He doesnt believe me. Now neither of them talks to me, returns my calls, or opens the door. Its been a month. I have no clue what she whispered to him, but I just want my grandson safe.

Margaret wonders: Maybe hes right. Maybe I should have kept quiet. But I cant stay silent when a childs welfare is at stake. Im a mother, Im a grandmother.

Now shes a lonely woman with a dead phone, and the son she raised has taken his wifes sidealways.