З життя
Я повернула чоловіка його матері, на яку він завжди ставив мені за приклад.
Мій чоловік постійно ставив мені в приклад свою матір. Повернула йому його назад.
Ця ситуація досить типова. Я вийшла заміж у 25 років. Через рік народила доньку. У нашій родині все йшло добре. Але за якийсь час чоловік почав називати мене ледачою. Мовляв, я відпочиваю в декреті та отримую копійки, хоча заробляла трохи менше за нього.
Є багато правди в тому, що перед весіллям слід перевірити, наскільки син прив’язаний до своєї матері. З самого початку треба було запідозрити, що щось не так. Але я була сліпа та глуха.
Мій чоловік постійно наводив мені приклад своєї матері. Вона доглядала за садком, працювала в бухгалтерії, виховувала двох дітей і чудово справлялася зі всім сама. А я? Працювала позмінно і загалом на неповний день.
Я робила все, щоб бути як моя свекруха. Допомагала їй в садку, прибирала в домі, а коли моя донька пішла до школи, допомагала їй з уроками. Проте проблеми ставали все більшими. Я повинна була витримувати звинувачення і бути залежною від чоловіка. Не хотіла бути розлученою і позбавити дитину батька.
Але кожен знає, що чим більше дозволиш, тим більше ускладнень буде. Я пояснювала чоловікові, що втомлена від однієї роботи, а з іншою не впораюсь. Він сказав, що тоді таку ж суму зі своєї зарплати віддасть на сім’ю, а решту забере собі. Наші стосунки були на межі, а потім зовсім порвалися. Загалом почалась незгода.
З того часу я зрозуміла, що це не може тривати далі. Я втомилася від його скарг, моралізаторства та постійних згадок про його маму. Крапкою над “і” стало його твердження, що якщо я не знайду нормальної роботи, то він піде до матері. Я рада, що він знайшов цю ідею. Мені знадобилося три роки, щоб повернути його свекрусі. Знайшла іншу роботу. У цей час я переїхала з дитиною в орендовану квартиру. Не хочу говорити про те, що мені довелося пережити в цей час. Ми розлучилися, і треба було поділити майно. Тоді спалахнув скандал.
А тепер я живу в спокої з донькою. Іноді приходить моя мама, а я радісна і щаслива без чоловіка.
У мене є власне житло і улюблена робота. У мене не все, але є те, що потрібно. Тільки родичі постійно намагаються мене з кимось звести. Дехто вважає мене розлученою без перспектив. Через це я не повинна бути вибагливою, так стверджують. Але навіщо мені це? У мене вже є все, що потрібно для життя. У мене також є любляча донька і мама, яка мені допомагає. Я б хотіла встановити статус: «Молода, красива, не схильна до знайомств». Я задоволена, не хочу все зіпсувати шлюбом. А мій колишній чоловік теж щасливий з матір’ю.
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You Steal from My Son—He Can’t Even Afford a Lightbulb! On Sunday morning, I was tucked under a blanket on the sofa. My husband had gone to visit his mum to “change the lightbulbs,” but of course, the real reason for calling her darling son over was something else entirely: “Son, did you forget that Igor’s birthday is today?” My husband is a real spendthrift. His salary barely lasts a few days. Thankfully, he gives me enough to cover the bills and groceries, but the rest goes on the latest video games and everything that goes with them. I don’t mind, really—I’d rather let him enjoy his hobbies than have him drinking in the shed or disappearing off to nightclubs. Besides, I once read that the first forty years of childhood are the hardest for a man. But I’m not telling you all this for sympathy. I’m explaining why my husband’s pockets are always empty! I don’t have those problems; I even manage to save a little, and often lend my husband money when he’s desperate—but never for his mum, his nieces, or his sister. Of course, I remembered Igor’s birthday, so I bought him a present a week ago. Before my husband headed over to the family, I handed him the gift and settled down to watch a film. I didn’t go—there’s no love lost between me and the in-laws. They think I don’t love him because I won’t let him spend our money on them or babysit his sister’s kids. Once, I agreed to watch his sister’s little ones for an hour, but they picked them up half a day later! I was late for work, and when I dared to complain, his mum and sister called me shameless and rude. After that, I refused every request for babysitting, though I never minded my husband spending time with the kids—honestly, I liked playing with them too. Not long after my husband left, the whole family turned up at our house, nieces in tow. His mum marched straight in and declared: “We’ve decided that since it’s Igor’s birthday, we’ll give him a tablet he picked out himself—worth £400. You owe me £200 for your share. So, pay up.” I might buy the boy a tablet, but never such an expensive one. Naturally, I refused to hand over any money. Even my husband started having a go at me for being greedy. So, I opened the laptop, called Igor over, and within five minutes, we’d chosen a gadget together that he really liked. He raced off to his mother, who was still sulking in the hallway. My sister-in-law always seems to have sticky fingers—something valuable tends to “stick” to them. My mother-in-law, needless to say, wasn’t impressed and immediately kicked off: “No one asked you to do that! You were supposed to give us the money. My son can’t even buy a lightbulb for himself—give me £200 now! You know that’s my son’s money.” She even tried rummaging through my handbag, which was on the nightstand. I shot my husband a look and hissed, “You have three minutes to get them out of this house!” So my husband dragged his mother out the door—three minutes was all he needed. And honestly, I’d much rather my husband spends his money on games than have his mum pocket the lot. Better he spends it on what makes him happy, than let those freeloaders nick it from him. Sitting here now, I think—maybe I should have married an orphan!
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