Little Songbird

Bird of Happiness

Valerie! What on earth is keeping you? Ive been waiting ages! Sit yourself down!Annie, Valerie Mathews neighbour, shifted on the bench, making herself comfortable.

And why not? What an evening it was! Why stay inside, with nothing but the telly and Poppy the cat for company? Boredom! Whereas outside, spring was in the air! It might only be April, still early, but it was as warm as June. Even the cherry tree, planted years before by Annies late husband, Stephen, under their window, had awoken and was snowed in blossoms. And the bench beneath it, built by Stephen too, was freshly waiting for their chats, having been given a new lick of blue gloss by Annie just the week before. It looked brand new! As if it longed for the neighbours to perch side by side and begin the usual conversationabout children, ailments, life, and love.

What else would women talk about? And even if you know a person through and through, somehow theres always something new that bubbles up, giving fresh reason for a natter. The children grow, the ailments multiply, but lovewell, theres never enough of that, is there? One always hopes for that little revelation, listening wide-eyed when someone speaks of being cherished. For a while, that makes your own burdens lighter. Even if your own heart is quiet as a graveyard, knowing that somewhere love still burns bright, somewhereeven just a littlekeeps the world turning.

AnnieAnnie Alexander to the proper world, though to her neighbours shed always been Anniehad known Valerie as long as she could remember. Over fifty years theyd shared the same corridor. When they were little girls, their mothers left their doors unlocked rather than waste energy turning keys, certain the girls could always be found in one of the two flats playing together. Later, of course, the locks came back, after Annie and Valerie went off in search of happiness.

They were about six at the time.

Annies granny was visiting. She told the girls the most important thing in life was to catch the Bird of Happiness by the tail and keep it close. Then, my dears, she said, all will be well. Life will be smooth, and everyone around you happy.

The girls didnt understand much about life, but the bit about making everyone happier stuck. Who wouldnt want their parents to stop bickering and get along? So they determined to find that very bird.

Especially since Annie insisted she knew exactly where it lived. In the house next door! With a grumpy old gentleman with a creaky voice. Sometimes, hed bring this bird out to the gardensit was beautiful, all colours, and big! It made the most peculiar noises. But it had to be the Bird of Happiness! Even at the zoo, where the girls sometimes went, theyd never seen a bird like it.

The friends prepared for their expedition thoroughly.

They found Annies old rabbit cage on the balcony, left from when her granny brought her a village bunny years ago.

Where else would you keep a bird? You couldnt hold its tail all day, could you? Your hands would ache, and how would you hold the ice cream that would naturally follow happiness?

They packed bread and biscuits. Who knew what such a bird preferred? After some thought, Valerie added a lovely sweet. Just in case! Everyone likes sweets, after all. Itd be a shame if the bird didnt care for mere bread and biscuit.

There was no hurry. This was important business! Annies granny had gone home, promising to take her away for the summer. The parents were making their own holiday plans, off to the seaside with the neighbourstwo families in one car to save on petrol. The sea wasnt fara couple hours drive; you could barely fit a nap in. The rented house, though old, was solid, with a big garden and swings, and the beach a stones throw away. Bliss!

Annie looked forward both to the trip and to seeing Granny.

She did feel sorry for her friend. Valerie had no grandmothernone at all! How strange, for a child to be without a granny. Whod sneak you sweets, tell you stories when mum was knee-deep in washing up and the laundry basket? Whod crochet a sunhat fit for a princess?

Annie reckonedif they caught that bird, Valerie would get a granny too. Maybe even one from the same village as Annies. They wouldnt have to part all summer. Now that was worth the effort!

The day before leaving for the seaside, the girls shouted to their mums that they were off to play together and slipped outside, quietly closing the door behind so it wouldnt slam in the breeze. They shushed each other to keep from giggling aloud and set off down the stairs.

Their own yard, the neighbours, then the dull grey house where the bird lived.

But the garden was empty, silent. Too hoteveryone was indoors or at work.

The girls exchanged glances. How were they meant to find a bird now? No one to ask Valeries lip began to wobble and her nose to wrinkletears were inevitable. But Annie wasnt the crying sort, not for nothing. If you wanted something, you had to try, or their hopes of a granny for Valerie, an ice cream box, and spotty sundressesmatching ones, so itd be obvious they were best friends!would all come to naught. And what about the parents? Theyd fall out again if Annie and Valerie didnt find that wretched bird!

Why wretched? Because if it were good, itd be sitting on a tree out front for them, and not hiding. It was nowhere to be seen.

Annie, looking around, grabbed Valeries hand and marched her to the entrance. No point standing about! Why not knock on a few doors and ask where the bird lived?

There were so many flats in that block And theyd only started on one staircase. Some doors didnt openno one home. Some answered with scolding, say­ing they shouldnt be playing around.

But on they went, Annie and Valerie, knocking on doors wherever they couldnt reach the bell.

Where does the Bird of Happiness live?

What odd folk grown-ups are! Such a simple question, yet no one would answer properly. Instead, they shouted, waved their arms, even threatened a smack. Annie and Valerie quickly scarpered from one particularly fierce lady, vowing never to knock on that green door with the strange handle again. No Bird of Happiness would ever live with such cross people.

Only in one flat did they get lucky. A boy a bit older than themselves opened the door, and, when asked, simply shrugged.

Come in, then!

There was no magical bird inside. But there were so many other interesting things that Annie and Valerie quite forgot the time and even why they had come.

They examined scary masks hanging on the wall; pressed seashells to their ears and listened to the sea. A big model ship sat on the shelfsails and tiny sailors and all.

Dad and I built that. The “St Anne”.

Oh! Like me!Annie blurted, pointing at the sail and grinning.

Your names Annie? Thats a nice name. It was my mums, too.

Where is she?

Mum? At work. Back soon. Why are you out on your own? Wont you get into trouble?

Only then did the girls remember the bird, that it was long past lunchtime and they were probably being searched for, and how miserable it was standing for ages in the corner when Mum was angry.

Val, run!

Annie seized her friend, forgot about the cage, and raced for the door.

Wait!the boy caught them at the doorstep.Here!

His gift was so magical that the girls stopped dead, mouths open, scarcely daring to reach out.

What is it?

Peacock feathers! My mum brings them from the zoo. Take them!

Almost breathless, the girls took the light marvel and, forgetting to say thank you, dashed home.

They returned to a storm!

Worried mothers were dashing about the yard, calling and shouting for the girls. Fathers, tense, smoked by the entrance, waiting for the local bobby whod told them not to budge till he decided what to do.

As soon as Valeries mother saw them, she sank to the ground right in the middle of the playground.

There you are

There were tears, hugs and, inevitably, a smack. Fortunately, there wasnt really time to punish them properlyholidays were nigh.

And just a few days later, sitting on the swing in the garden of the seaside cottage the parents had rented, the girls shuffled for comfort and whispered:

You know, Val, we dont really need any Bird of Happiness.

Why not?

Granny said the true happiness is being loved.

So?

Well! If we werent loved, would there have been such a fuss when we disappeared? Honestly? Would they have feared losing us for good? Right?

Right

So were happy already, arent we?

Im not sure.

I am!

And what about our parents?

What about them? Have they argued once in these last two days?

No

There you go! So they can get along, just dont always want to. No bird will help them if they wont help themselves, will it?

I suppose so.

That summer turned out to be the best of all their memories of childhood.

Annie Alexander, whenever she looked back over her life, always gave thanks that there was someone to share those memories with. Not just share, but to turn to if something slipped her mind. After all, a memory kept by two is better kept.

And Valerie remembered everything a bit better than Annie did. Perhaps because she was more level-headed? Annie was always the lively onedarting about. Valerie was steadier, always thinking things through before moving, reviewing her thoughts in order. She remembered everything as fresh as yesterday.

It was months before Annie realised the man she was courting was the very boy from all those years ago. Theyd been seeing each other for over a month before she was at his flat.

“St Anne”

The ship was on the same shelf where two little girls had once eyed it in awe. And though those girls were now twenty-three, and Valerie was already married, Annie felt suddenly like the child whod been afraid to touch the sailor figurine for fear of breaking it.

After their wedding, she took the peacock feather from her favourite book where shed treasured it all those years, and showed it to her husband.

Do you remember?

She had a good laugh watching him try to recall something from so long ago.

And they had happiness. Long, nearly stretched to thirty years. Full of care and trouble, first steps for their daughter and then a son, illness too, which Stephen fought off, finding the best doctors, keeping hold of Annies hand as the future waited hesitantly by the door, afraid to step in or to step the wrong way. Then, inevitably, came the day when time stood still, and Annie ceased to breathe, simply forgetting how, as her life went away with Stephen. And Valerie, who was with her then, didnt faltershe shook her friend awake with a slap, then gathered her in close, rocking her like a child.

Hold on, Annie! The children need you

And Annie came to. Happiness hadnt quite left. Not the same, incomplete, but still what Stephen had given her. And though the children were grown, to lose their mother right after their father just wasnt fair. It shouldnt happen. Who would anchor them then? As Granny used to say:

As long as someone stands between a child and the sky, that child isnt an orphan. Thats a happy child

So true! So, Annie knew she must live. To help her children, to bring joy to her grandchildren. Though they all live far apart now, since theres work, and living away from parents is right, Annie knows she is needed and loved. She can always pack a bag, buy presents and visither son or her daughter, each house welcoming. Or wait for school holidays when the grandchildren all come to hersthe house a happy tangle once again. She wont sleep for listening to their gentle breathing at night, and the great bed, where she and Stephen once lay, wont stand empty. Even her eldest granddaughter, shy at first, spins round before settling by Annies side, listening to the old, well-known stories as though they were new.

Then the heart settles; peace returns. Joy comes quietly, light as a featherperhaps not as dazzling as the one her husband gave her once, but cherished nonetheless.

Not everyone is so lucky. Some people, no matter how much they wish, cant squeeze happiness out of the sky. But Annie and Valeriewell, fortune smiled on them. They may never have caught the mythical bird, but didn’t lose their own happiness, coming to grasp, even as girls, what true happiness meant for a woman. Of course, everyones happiness is a little different. For them, it was simple and clear: if your children are healthy and safe, all else will come if you work for it.

Valerie wanted, and worked, for her family. She might have had none of her own. She and her husband, Anthony, couldnt have children, though there was never a lack of loveso much love, people marvelled. Always together, always close, never tiring, missing each other in absence. Neighbours complained about their own menfolk, but Valerie kept quiet, not out of secrecyjust that there was nothing but good to say about her marriage.

They lived in harmony.

Annie once thought people lied about such thingsnot possible! Then she met Stephen, and need only look at Valerie to know that some houses really do have loves fire burning.

Still, Valeries marriage wasnt without trouble. Anthonys family was vastseven aunts alone between both sides. Anthony also had two sistersboth a trial! No one tormented Valerie more. Its one thing to compromise when you marry, but surely not to that degree! No bowing and scraping to such a mob!

Everyone wanted to know everythingwhere theyd been, what biscuits theyd bought, always poking in. And nothing Valerie did was ever right: sat wrong, stood wrong, greeted wrong.

To be fair, Anthonys mum, Mary, turned out to be a wonderful womanthe only one who took Valerie in right away and never reproached her, not even once in all those years. Why her own daughters turned out so strange, who knows. Shed clearly raised her son well.

Mary was gentle, couldnt say no, never raised her voicewould rather cry than argue. Valerie pitied hercalled her Mum almost from day one.

All together, all close by.

What a commotion when Anthonys mum sold her flat and moved closer to her son. Her daughters objected vocally, but Mary wouldnt live with Valerie, though Anthony offered. She bought a place next door, saying shed only be in the way otherwisetheir flat was small, just two rooms. And she knewwithout a wordthe plans Valerie and Anthony kept hidden.

She knew how hard it was to keep peace in a family. Shed been through it herself when her husband left, leaving her with three. He helped, of coursemoney and all thatbut life without your partner, suddenly, with no reasons given It wasnt until later they sat and talked things through, with Valeries help. She saw how hard it was for her mother-in-law. After all those years, it takes only a word to break a heart.

Turns out, there was nothing really wrong with Maryher husband just fell in love elsewhere. Somehow, in his mind, the new affection didnt crowd out the old onethe cheek! Mary wouldnt share her man, of course, but was at peace, feeling, at least, like a woman again. She thanked Valerie, and set about remaking her life.

It was Mary who led Valerie and Anthony to their son. After years working at the county hospital, she took a job as a maternity nurse and found her grandson there.

Valerie and Anthony planned everything with careValerie knew no other waybut without Mary, shed never have managed. How to explain a years disappearance to family? They had to disappear for almost a year, for fear the relatives wouldnt accept an adopted child. When they returned, child in arms, no questions asked. If Valerie ever drew a firm line, it was then. The clan muttered, but, seeing the grandmothers love, fell silent. Surely, he was family.

Anthonys sisters had their suspicions, but dared not say. Not for Valeries sake, but Marysthey were afraid. Their mother could be quite firm now: one sharp word, and the phone was down.

Nothing had really changed! Mary simply knew that an orphan needs more care, more love, to grow strong. She poured her heart into the boy, helping Valerie, seeing it as the way to save her sons family and happiness. What kind of mother would she be if she didnt see that?

And so Valerie had husband and son. Annie her family as well.

They continued as friends, traveling together, children growing up side by side. Doors always open good-naturedlyno point fiddling about with locks. Still, they made sure not to repeat the bird-chasing adventure.

Then Stephen was gone, leaving a hole and the bitterness of dreams of growing old together never to be.

Soon after, Anthony too was gone. Hed never complained of his health, until that daya blood clot, of all things! How did no one catch it? He worked at the hospital, after all! But he slipped through the net.

That finished Valerie for a time. Now it was Annies turn to stand firm and not let her friend fall off the edge from which theres seldom return.

You have your son, dear Val! Your parents! Mary! They need you. Who but you can hold them up? What would Anthony say, seeing you still in tears after a month? You cannot, must not give in to grief! He loved you more than himself. Will you let that love go to the winds? He would not have approved, Val. He would not!

Whether from those words, or just knowing how many people relied on her, Valerie rose again. Like Annie before her, she learned to live life anew, cherishing her love in the way she could.

She raised her son well. Paul made a fine officer. He moved about from base to base, but never forgot his mother, bringing the grandchildren twice a year. If he couldnt come, his wife Sarah came instead, and truly, Valerie had never had a better daughter-in-law. Shed learnedas Annie had knownwhat makes a good mother-in-law, and so accepted Pauls choice without fuss.

There had, of course, been questions.

How could there not be, when Paul brought not only a bride but her child by another? Sarahs first husband left her during pregnancy, off for work, never to return, only sending a letter later permitting Paul to adopt the boy.

Valerie? She did nothing out of the ordinary. She gently put her son aside when he first brought Sarah home, and picked up the toddler:

Hello there! Im your Gran Val! Would you like a biscuit? No? How about peeking under the tree? Father Christmas left some presents for you. Really! I saw them myself! Lets go and look, shall we?

How little a mother really needs to melt a heart! Take her child like your own, and youll have her love forever.

Valerie had known that for years, and proved it true.

Now Sarah was every bit her daughter, and Valerie counted every grandchild, starting with the eldest, not of her blood, but first and dearest.

Val, when shall we head down to the allotment? Its about time! Its so warm alreadyAnnie craned her neck, peering up at the cherry blossoms against the evening sky.

This weekend. Once weve washed the windows.

Oh goodness! Id forgotten Easters early this year. Time for a proper spring clean!

About time! And Ive cooking to plan still.

Are your lot visiting?

For two days, just passing through. The oldest is hoping to go to university in London, so theyre checking things out. Theyll stop in again on the way back; might even leave the younger two a fortnight if all goes well. Yours?

Not till summer, what with school. No holiday till July this yearseems ages away!

Barely six weeks!

Feels much longer when youre waiting for something lovely. You wait and wait, and thenit flits by like a warm second. Gone before you know it. Then back to waiting, but you know what, Annie?

What?

For that one golden moment, Id give everything. However small, you live on it, treasure it like beads on a string. Thats happiness, you knowits only scarce if you dont see whats already been given.

Too right! Remember the day we went looking for the Bird of Happiness?

Of course I do!Valerie chuckled, folding her armsMother kept me standing for a week after, Dads doing, to ensure I learned my lesson! And there you were, hopping about like it was all a lark.

I was! But Val, do you know what?

What?

I reckon we did catch that bird by the tail, back then. Never noticed, but we caught her all the same. All this time, shes been flying beside us. How else do you explain how weve had what many women beg Heaven for, and never seethese families, these husbands, these children, these grandchildren? Surely, we are happy.

Youre right! We owe our Bird of Happiness a thank you. May she flap her wings and swish her tail againso that everyone we love may be happy, too…