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Мой бывший муж должен забрать сына: ребёнок стал неуправляемым, я больше не справляюсь

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Моему сыну 12 лет. Если бы кто-то десять лет назад сказал, что я подумаю о том, чтобы отдать своего ребёнка отцу, я бы рассмеялась в лицо этому пророку. Но сейчас я стою на краю пропасти, задыхаюсь от бессилия и чувствую, как жизнь вытекает из меня капля за каплей. Я тону, и никто не бросает мне спасательный круг.

Мой сын, Артём, стал мне чужим. Он спорит со мной по любому поводу, дерётся в школе, таскает домой чужие вещи, а потом заявляет, что это не кража, а просто «взял поиграть». Телефон разрывается от звонков — то учителя, то классный руководитель, то родители одноклассников. Каждый разговор — как удар под дых, каждый день — как шаг по минному полю.

Мы с мужем давно в разводе. Моей мамы, которая живёт в соседнем дворе в нашем небольшом городке под Вологдой, помощи ноль. Только упрёки и «мудрые» советы, от которых хочется выть. Заходит вечером на полчаса, осыпает меня критикой и уходит, оставляя после себя горький осадок. Так что Артём полностью на мне. Я кричу, плачу, угрожаю, забирала карманные деньги — всё напрасно. Он смотрит на меня дерзкими глазами, ухмыляется, будто знает, что я бессильна, что все мои слова — пустой звук.

Недавно произошёл очередной скандал. Я нашла в его рюкзаке чужой смартфон — дорогой, явно не из дешёвых.

— Артём, откуда это? — спросила я, сверля его взглядом.

— Нашёл, — бросил он, даже не моргнув.

— Где нашёл?

— На скамейке.

— На какой скамейке, чёрт возьми?! — сорвалась я. — Ты понимаешь, что это чужое? Ты украл!

— Не украл, взял, — спокойно ответил он.

— И что ты собирался с ним делать?

— Ничего, — пожал плечами. — Просто посмотреть хотел.

Я задохнулась от ярости.

— Ты хоть понимаешь, что так нельзя? Это не твоё! Завтра пойдёшь в школу и вернёшь!

Он посмотрел на меня с вызовом.

— Не пойду.

— Что значит «не пойду»?! — закричала я, теряя контроль.

— Не пойду, и всё.

Я не выдержала — слёзы хлынули ручьём, а он просто ушёл в свою комнату.

На следующий день я позвонила его отцу, Сергею. Голос дрожал, но я всё рассказала:

— Это про Артёма. Я не справляюсь. Он стал другим, ворует, хамит. Может, заберёшь его к себе? Ему нужен мужской пример.

Сергей выслушал, потом вздохнул.

— Ты же знаешь, мне сейчас не до того. Работаю допоздна.

— А у меня, думаешь, есть время?! — взорвалась я. — Мама только обвиняет, что я его упустила. Кто-нибудь поможет мне?!

— Но ты же мать… — начал он.

— А ты отец! — перебила я.

Он промямлил что-то про «подумать» и повесил трубку. А вечером пришла мама. Я решилась ей рассказать, и это был кошмар.

— Лена, ты что, с ума сошла?! — заорала она. — Отдать сына отцу?

— Мам, я не тяну. У меня нет сил.

— Не тянешь? Растила — воспитывай! Где это видано, чтобы мать от ребёнка отказывалась?

— А ты хоть раз помогла? Только языком мелешь! — сорвалась я.

Она ушла, хлопнув дверью, а я осталась в кухне, глядя в пустоту. Может, я и правда плохая мать? Но потом думаю: я не железная. Я устала быть и матерью, и отцом. Сергей — отец, и почему я должна отвечать за нас двоих?

С того дня Артём почти не выходит из своей комнаты. А я сижу, смотрю на телефон и жду звонка от Сергея. Решила: если он не откликнется в ближайшие дни, наберу сама. Может, согласится взять сына? Или мне искать силы в себе? Я не знаю, что делать. Я хочу спасти своего мальчика, но чувствую, что сама тону.

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Never Fully Forgotten Every day, Prokhor commuted home from work—first the London Underground, then the bus, until finally arriving at his flat. The journey took over an hour each way. His car spent more time parked than driven, as morning and evening traffic in London was so dreadful that taking the tube was much quicker. About two years ago, his family life changed—he and his wife quietly separated. Their daughter, who was seventeen at the time, stayed with her mother. Prokhor wasn’t one for loud arguments—he’d always disliked drama. He noticed his wife had changed for the worse; she grew irritable without reason, disappeared for hours, sometimes coming home late, always claiming she’d been with a friend. One day, Prokhor asked: “Where do you go so late? Most wives are home by this hour.” “None of your business. Those ‘normal wives’ are hens. I’m different—clever and sociable. Being home all the time suffocates me. And I’m not a country bumpkin like you. You were born that way and never changed.” “Then why did you marry a country boy?” “I chose the lesser of two evils,” she snapped, refusing to elaborate. After filing for divorce, she kicked Prokhor out of their flat, so he rented a place instead. He’d gotten used to it, wasn’t in a rush to remarry, but kept his options open. Prokhor travelled by tube, never wasting time, scrolling through his phone just like everyone else. He browsed the usual news, laughed at jokes, watched short clips—until an image made him stop and go back. He peered closer at the advert: “Folk Healer Mary—herbal remedies.” Prokhor stared into the eyes of his first love, gazing out from his mobile. An unrequited, hopeless first love—impossible to forget. He remembered the girl well from their school days. She was a bit eccentric, but beautiful. He nearly missed his stop, hurried off the train, walked home instead of waiting for a bus—he was driven by sudden nostalgia. 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Where are you now?” “I live in my old house—the one I walked to school from. I came back after my husband died. A bear in the woods… And Grandfather passed long ago.” “I’m so sorry, Mary, I never knew…” “That’s alright, it was years ago. I’m at peace about it now. We don’t know about each other’s lives, do we? And you’re only calling as a friend, not looking for herbs? I sometimes advise…” “Just as a friend. I don’t need herbs. I saw you online and nostalgia hit me. I miss our village—mum’s been gone for years.” They talked of this and that, remembered old classmates, and said goodbye. Then silence—work, home, and after a week, Prokhor grew lonely and called Mary again. “Hello, Mary.” “Good health, Prokhor! Missing me, or are you unwell?” “Missed you, Mary. Please don’t be cross, but may I visit you?” he asked, quietly but hopefully, his heart racing. “Come along,” she said, unexpectedly. “Come whenever you wish.” “I’ve got holiday next week,” he said, delighted. “That’s great—come! 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