My Family

My Family

Oh, Daisy, you look absolutely beautiful! exclaimed Susan in awe as she stepped into her daughter’s room.

Daisy was standing in front of the mirror, waiting patiently for her friendand stylist for the dayRachel to finish pinning her veil. As the last pin was secured, Daisy turned to her mother.

Do you really think so, Mum? Do I look alright?

Youre stunning, darling! The most beautiful bride there ever was! Susan smiled without meaning to, her heart full. Her own mother had once said those words to her, she remembered. Perhaps every mother says it to her daughter on her wedding day.

Choosing the dress took ages. Daisy was meticulous about her clothes and didnt care much for fashion trends or other peoples opinions. All that mattered was she liked it. Luckily, with her good taste and lovely figure, no one had ever criticised her choices. She didnt want anything that was innot the big, poufy, strapless designs the magazines pushed. She searched for something different, something unique. The shop assistants were flummoxedhow do you please such a bride? In the end, the owner of the shop, Helen, saved the day.

I believe I’ve got just what youre after, Helen said, disappearing into the back and re-emerging with a dress in a garment bag. As soon as she unzipped it, Daisy gasped. This was it.

Simple lines, no extra embellishments. Luxurious fabric. Daisy twirled before the mirror. It was perfect, fitting as if it had been made for her. No alterations needed.

What do you think? asked Helen.

Ill take it!

Helen smiled, her eyes clouding for a second with a hint of sadness before clearing again. No need to tell the girl shed ordered that dress for herself, once. But her own wedding would never happenHelen knew she couldnt marry without trust and love. The whole Asher situation, hedging between two loves, had ended the future shed dreamed of. But that was the past. Life goes on.

This dress needs a special veil. Ill go and fetch it, Helen said.

Daisy winked at her mum. Told you Id find just the thing, she said.

Susan nodded, feeling a happiness so profound shed remember these days as some of the brightest in her life. She recalled her own weddingno such luxury of choice then. Back in the day, you got what the bridal shop had or you made your own. Susans mums friend sewed hers, aunts sourced the fabric and trimmings. The dress was beautiful, but it hadn’t brought happiness. She and Daisys dad parted ways shortly after Daisy turned two. New love, new heartachesher ex-husband, Greg, had wanted nothing to do with her or their child except sending child support, to keep up appearances. Relationships just changed, that was how things were. Greg never wanted to stay in contact or raise Daisy.

I dont need extra problems, hed said.

Susan stopped insisting. An absent father who didnt love Daisy was worse than no father at all.

Shed tried, for Daisys sake, to find a partner who could fill the gap. But that man she lived with for just over a year hated childrenloved Susan, in his way, but did not want to help raise Daisy. When he once suggested sending Daisy to her father, Susan packed his bags in silence and showed him the door.

Its alright, sweetheart, its just us. Well be fine, she told Daisy, who didnt understand everything but remembered that her mum chose her. Perhaps thats why, as Daisy grew, Susan never had trouble with herand why Daisys mother was always her closest and dearest person.

Daisy, we really should go or youll be late, Susan said softly, smoothing her daughters veil and pressing a kiss to her brow. Be happy, my darling girl.

Daisy tossed her hands in the air and giggled, Mum! If I start crying now, Rachel will be furious. It took her an hour to get my make-up so natural. Ill ruin it all.

She hugged Susan and whispered, Ill try to be happy

The wedding day felt like the blink of an eye. Later, Susan walked into her now-empty flat, closed the door behind her, and sat on the bench in the hallway. That was it. She was alone. Daisy would be living with her new husband, Tom, in the flat that had belonged to Susans own mothershed given it to the young couple as a start. Tom didn’t have his own place and, when Daisy hinted that they could move in with his parents, Susan said nothing. Quietly, after Tom left, she handed Daisy the keys.

No, love, you should live on your own. Independently.

But what about the tenants, Mum?

I sorted that weeks ago. Theyll be out before the wedding.

But thats your money Daisy protested. Wed planned to rent somewhere first.

How much do I need, Daisy? Truly. I still work, Ill manage. You two should make a homeno need to rent when you have one already.

Daisy hopped from foot to foot, clutching the keys. Mum! Thank you! My dream of our own house just got closer!

A house?

Yes! A big one, with enough rooms for everyone! And three kids rooms, at least! Daisy blushed, snuggling close to Susan. Too much?

My darling, no matter how manyso long as you and the children are happy and healthy!

Im so glad you understand

And its good your children will have a still-young grandmother, Susan said with a laugh, kissing Daisys head. A home is a home. Live your life as you wantlive!

Susan didnt tell Daisy about her recent conversation with Toms parents.

The engagement dinner was planned, as tradition dictated, in the brides home. Susan spent the day in the kitchen; she loved cooking, though it was rare she could show off. With just herself and Daisy, elaborate meals werent often needed.

At first glance, Toms parents seemed pleasant. That impression dissolved when Toms mother, after picking at her plate, pursed her lips.

How unusual. Not like we do things

Susan tried not to show her surprise. The signature baked fish recipe from Susans own mother had never failed to impress. Same with the meat dish shed spent nearly a day preparing. Toms father quietly filled his plate and seemed to enjoy every bite.

Can Daisy not cook, then? Mrs. Matthews set her fork down. Well have to teach her. But thats alright; shell settle in. Theres plenty of space in our housebetter she lives with us at first, so she can learn how to look after Tom. Hes spoiled, you see, only son and all that. And Daisys an only child too?

Yes.

And you raised her alone? Without her father?

Thats how it turned out.

Of course, its hard raising a girl with no example of a proper family. How will she know how to act in a family home with no man about? Daisy is lovely, but a girl raised by just her mother might struggle to fit in.

Susan listened, holding herself back only because Daisy nudged her under the table as if to say, Let it go, Mum. Daisy had warned Susan that Tom was unlike his parents.

Hes wonderful, Mum. Youll see. Please dont be upset by anythingyoud hear. Its hard for him, too.

Only now did Susan realise what Daisy had meant. Her first impulse was to stand up and order these people out of her home. But Daisy was a smart girl, and Susan trusted her to have thought things through before choosing Tom.

Clearing the dishes, Susan was in the kitchen when Mrs. Matthews approached.

Can we speak privately? Without the children?

Her husband, Mr. Matthews, stood nearby, looking uneasy as if hed rather be elsewhere, but said nothing. Susan nodded, bracing herself.

SusanI think we can drop the formalities nowIm a mother, same as you, and I worry desperately about my only child. I must be sure hes making the right choices. This is the biggest one of his life, possibly not the last, but I wish he wouldnt have to go through disappointment again and again

Mrs. Matthews faltered, seeing no reaction from Susan, whod long ago learned to keep silent and listenpeople usually said more that way. It had served her well at work as a practice manager at the GP surgery.

Dont get me wrong, Daisy is lovely, Mrs. Matthews continued, but I have a lot of questions. Only you can answer them.

Im listening, Susan said, even while inwardly wishing to end the chat. Her heart achednot only Mrs. Matthews had reason to worry about her child.

I know you and Daisys father divorced long ago and have no contact, but you must know something about his family?

Of course.

Any serious illnesses? Why did you separate? Was he a drinker? Unstable?

Nothing like that.

Can you be more detailed? Its important to know if Daisys background might affect any childrenhereditary issues, you know! Youre a nurse, you understand. I wont harp on about her being raised without a father, and I know you were busy with work. I understand, but try to see my side, too: shes joining my family and I need to know what might arise.

Susan felt her patience snappingthe conversation could well ruin all Daisys hopes for the future. She took a deep breath, ready to confront this tactless woman, when Daisy appeared in the kitchen doorway, eyes wide and pleading, silently begging Susan not to make a scene. Daisy hadnt heard the full conversation, but she could tell by Susans expression things were tense.

Mum?

Yes, Daisy. Susan turned to her. Im almost done here. Can you fetch the china from Grans cabinet? Well make a pot of tea.

Once Daisy left, Susan calmly faced Mrs. Matthews. My daughter is perfectly healthy. If youd like proof, Ill provide everything you require. Theres nothing to worry about. And I wont be asking for your familys medical history; I trust the children can figure it out themselves. I understand all your fears, but I hope they wont become a reason for your son to face the same difficult choices you described.

Susan picked up the plate of homemade Victoria sponge and nodded toward the door. Lets not keep the children waiting. Will you help me?

Handing Mrs. Matthews the plate, Susan checked the teapot and, seeing a grateful look from Mr. Matthews, rejoined the others, making clear by her manner that the conversation was over.

They didnt see each other again until the wedding. Daisy and Tom had been working for a good while and paid for all the preparations themselvesthere was no need for parental help.

Two years later, Daisy and Tom started building their own house. They sold her grandmothers flat and bought a plot of land with the proceeds. Heavily pregnant, Daisy took her role as site manager very seriously, and even the professional builders teased herbut did as she said. Unsurprisingly, the house wasnt finished before the birth and, much to Mrs. Matthewss disapproval, Tom brought Daisy and their newborn daughter, Sophie, to Susans house.

Sorry to land on you, instead of going home, Tom said awkwardly, laying the bundle on the bed Susan had given up for them. But its just easier for Daisyand for methis way.

Youve done the right thing, Tom, Susan reassured him as he hesitated over unwrapping Sophie. Whats the matter, Dad? Shes probably too warm all bundled up.

Im scared Tom admitted, hovering over the tiny baby.

No need. Shes yours, so you wont do anything wrong. Trust your instincts, Tom. Go on.

Susan stopped Daisy from interfering. Tom handled the first bath, the first pram walk, just fine. When Mrs. Matthews visited the next day, she clicked her tongue, Thats not a mans job!

Thats an old-fashioned view, Susan replied, sharing a smile with Tom, who held their daughter with care.

Susan didnt mention how hard it was resisting the urge to take overwhat grandmother doesnt believe she knows best? But she remembered shed been just as uncertain once, too.

Sophie thrived, healthy and strong. They eventually moved into their new house, and a year and a half later, Daisy started thinking about a second child. Thats when disaster struck.

Mum, Sophies got a temperature. Susans heart clenched as she heard the panic in her daughter’s voiceshed never heard Daisy sound like that.

Is it high?

Yes, and I cant get it down.

Call an ambulance. Im on my way!

Susan drove across the sleeping city, praying nothing was seriously wrong.

Her prayer, it seemed, fell on deaf earsor perhaps would be answered later. There was the ambulance, a blur of time in intensive care, and two days waiting after the doctor said, Were doing everything we can

Daisy stood like a statue in the corridor outside intensive care, barred from going in. Susan didnt try to take her away, just brought tea or coffee now and then and insisted she eat.

You need strength. When Sophies moved to a normal ward, shell need you more than ever.

Tom bounced between work and the hospital. Susan hugged him when he looked ready to come apart. Hold onif you fall apart, Daisy will go to pieces.

Mrs. Matthews arrived at the hospital, full of questions.

How did this happen? Why is Sophie ill? Is it an infection? Is it hereditary? Is it anyones fault?

Liz, give it a rest! Susan lost her patience for the first time. Does it matter?

But Liz glanced at Daisy, who was slumped against the wall, lips moving in silent prayer, and at Tom, holding her hand, and then at Susans hard glare. Sorry

Susan nodded in silence. Some people just dont know what can or cant be saideveryone learns in their own time.

Eventually, to everyones relief, Sophie woke up and demanded her mother. She was moved out of intensive care, and Susan allowed herself to breathe again. Theyd manage everything else.

A few days later, Susan visited in hospital. After playing with Sophie and making sure Daisy ate, she was gathering her things to leave when Daisy stopped her.

Mum, wait. Tom will be here soon; we want to ask you something.

When she heard what it was, Susan closed her eyes for a moment. Pure happiness.

Mum, will you help us?

Of course! You didnt even need to ask!

Thank you! Daisy sighed with relief. With two nowand Sophie will need so much attentionI couldnt manage alone.

Youd manage, with Tom about! Look at him.

Tom poked his head out from under the duvet, where Sophie was playing hide-and-seek with her dad. So, you dont mind?

Move in with you? I mind! But I suppose Ill have tojust for a while, until Sophies better. Think of me as a seasonal worker.

Mum!

What? Not sure what else to call it. I know youll need help now, but I dont plan to live with you all the time. That wouldnt be right.

Id love you to be with us always

Susan hugged her granddaughter and stood up. Im always there, Daisy. Never doubt it. But, darling, Im a confirmed old singleton. Youve got your own family nowthats how it should be. Ill help, but not move in. Case closed. Right, Sophie?

She kissed Sophie goodbye and went home, where she started packing, only to be interrupted by the phone.

Susan? Isnt it odd its you they want, not me? Liz was as direct as ever. I think Id be more use. You work, Ive got all the time, and I know more about children than you!

Liz, it wasnt my decision. Maybe you should ask Daisy or Tom. Im just helping where Im asked.

Tom wouldnt even listen to me! I dont know whats so special about your cooking, but my own son seems to have forgotten his mother! How is that right?

No idea. Maybe talk to him yourself?

Youre impossible! I still think you should refuse. Say youre busy.

Liz, do you hear yourself? I wont ask why, but let me ask youwhen did you last visit Sophie?

What for? Youre always thereand I cant even bring her a snack because youve handled everything.

Theres your answer. Sorry, got to go.

Susan hung up, deep in thought. Its so easy to create rifts in familiesso much harder to repair them. Liz didnt seem to realise this, but Susan did. She picked up the phone and dialled Tom.

Tom, we need a quick chat.

Three years later

Granny, are you taking me to dance today, or is Granny Liz?

Today I amand Granny Liz is out with Paul. Your mums working.

So Ill have lunch at yours?

Yes.

Yay! And will you make those buns you made last time?

If you liked them, I will. Susan checked the rear-view mirror, watching Sophie in her car seat.

Granny

Yes, sweetheart?

Are we going to the zoo at the weekend with you or with Granny Liz?

All of us together. And Granddad too. He needs a day out.

And will you buy me balloons?

And ice cream. And candyfloss.

Brilliant! Sophie beamed. Paul will want a balloon too, okay?

Alright! Susan smiled.

Granny

Yes?

Can I tell you a secret? The very biggest one?

You can.

Im going to have another brother or sister soon.

Susan raised her eyebrows in surprise. So, Daisys smiles lately made senseshed given the news to Tom first, as was now their way, and not told Susan yet. Since Susan insisted on helping from a distance rather than moving in, Daisys respect for her mother had only grown, but she confided first in Tom now.

It hadnt been easy at the startthere were rows, of coursebut they had managed. Everyone had to adapt; some learned to hold their tongues. Sophies health, and their future childrens lives, were at stake. In time, both Sophie and Paul wound up with two grandmothers and one brilliant granddad.

How do you know? Susan turned down the radio.

Mum and Dad talked about it last night. They thought I was asleep. Granny, is it okay if I wish for a sister?

Why ask?

Cos if its a boy, itll feel sadlike I didnt want him.

Susan smiled. What a sweet child they were raising.

Sophie, do you love Paul?

Lots!

Then youll love a new brother, too, if its a boy. Hell love you as well, right?

Right!

So, lets wait and see what the doctor says, okay? And you know what?

What?

I always wished for a brothertwo, even.

Really?

Really and truly.

Alright then! Sophie wriggled in her seat, arranging her favourite toysthe rabbit from Granny Susan and the bear from Granny Liz. Ill wait and see if its a boy too.

And you know what else? Susan turned onto Daisys road. Its just like a Christmas present. You never know what it is till you open it.

Have you bought me a present yet? Sophie asked, watching as Susan unbuckled her.

For Christmas? Not yet, its too early. But I have for your birthday. Want to know a secret?

Yes!

Granny Liz has got you one too. But Im not telling you what it is!

Oh! Sophie pouted.

No sulking, nowyour birthdays very soon. Youll find out then.

Okay! Sophie grabbed her rabbit and trotted towards the gate.

Susan lifted Sophies swimming bag from the boot and waved to Liz, who was coming up the path with Paul in her arms.

Hello, Granny!

Hello yourself! Liz smiled. We’re off for a stroll.

And were off to dancejust need to get changed first, Susan said.

As Sophie snuggled against Liz, chattering rapidly, Susan thought how complicatedand wonderfully simplelife could be. Loving those near you, listening, seeing and knowing youre needed and you need them too Thats what being family really means.