Not Your Typical Julie

Not Quite Julie

Julie! Again? Heavens, youre not a child, youre a perpetual puzzle! How does this keep happening?

Mum, I dont know. It just sort of happened

Mum stripped off Julies muddied duffle coat, peeled away her sopping wellies, and took her hatthe bobble lost somewhere along her way home.

Other peoples children seem so ordinary, but you Julie! How many more times?

Julie inspected the torn hem of her frock and sighed.

And yet, shed had a wonderful time! The train game worked brilliantly until Sam pulled too hard at her dress and ripped it. And when Mrs. Catherine Higgs scolded her, shed declared mending clothes wasnt in her contract. That, Julies mum could handle. Of course, Mrs. Higgs was right, but it meant Julie spent the rest of the day in the corner, from tea until sundown, too embarrassed to show off her knickers with the boys about. That wouldnt be proper, as Gran always said. Gran, at least, seemed to know a thing or two about life.

For instance: that Julie was just that sort. Mum, however, was having none of it. Gran didnt mind in the slightest.

Stop pecking at the child! Whatever is the matter with you?

Mum, you brought me up the very same way! Why change now? If I dont keep a firm hand with Julie, what will she grow up to be?

Shell be as clever and lovely as you, wont she? Is that not enough?

Oh, do stop! I havent time for your nonsense! Julie! Go and change! Immediately!

Relieved, Julie would scamper to her little attic room, while her favourite people in the world carried on their bickering without her. Truthfully, they didnt need Julie for their argumentsshe was a handy excuse, thats all.

Once, she asked Gran what a pretext was. Gran just burst out laughing:

Arguing for the sake of it is dull, my love. But over something importantthats different.

Am I what you and Mum argue about?

Youre the most important thing, arent you? Youre our one and only! We worry who youll grow up to be. Only, we go about it differently. Mum is strictshe believes its the only way. As for me, well, all my sternness was spent on your mum. None left for you, so I have to look for other ways. Like a ginger biscuit.

I dont like ginger biscuits!

Fine, lets say humbugs, then.

Thats better. Gran, does Mum love me?

More than anything in the whole world! Even more than me! You can be sure of it.

Then why is she always telling me off?

Just because of that

Seems like a silly sort of love You love me but you dont scold half as much.

Im your Gran; shes your mum. Thats a different duty. So she has to love you differently, you see?

Not really

Then it isnt time for you to understand. One day you will.

But that one day never seemed to arrive.

Julie waited and waited, but there was no change. Mum only grew stricter each year.

What am I to do with you?! Wait until you turn up in trouble?

That phrase Julie heard often, but for a time, hadnt the faintest clue what it meant. Shed simply giggle when her mother lamented, recalling her torn nursery dress. She always wanted to ask how anyone could carry anything in a skirt with a hole in it, but thought better of it. Mum would hardly appreciate the joke and would scold Julie again, as usual.

Her mothers fears, as it turned out, were unfounded.

Julie, a peculiar yet sweet girl, believed herself to be perfectly unremarkable. Never mind that Gran told her otherwisethere was a mirror, after all!

In the reflection, she saw nothing to shout about. Small eyes, a limp tail of brown hair, and a constellation of spots on her nose. Beautyhardly!

Accepting this truth, Julie decided it was best not to fuss about her looks. Life was simpler that wayfor everyone. Fancy clothes? No need. Shoes? The old plimsolls did the trick for any occasionexcluding the rare treat of an outing to the theatre with Gran. Then she had to wear something presentable.

Julie adored the theatre, but outings were few and far between, tickets being expensive. Gran managed to save a little from her pension, but that took ages. From her first year at secondary school, Julie began babysitting for the neighbours twins, earning her first bits of pocket money. The twins were lively but manageable, and without siblings herself, Julie rather enjoyed spending time with themshe thought of it more as fun than work.

What could be better? Shed play, feed them porridge, and then toddle home again. No one bouncing on her bed, no scribbling in her notebooks, no sharing her room. Lovely!

Julie wasnt a total egoist, but she already knew absence could mean freedom. You needed decent money to raise even two children, never mind more. What did they have? Mums wages as a nurseintensive care, no lessand Grans pension. No father in the picture. Julie had never even seen him and to be frank, she didnt mind.

She never shared these musings with her mother. Why add to her worries? Poor woman had enough alreadywith Julie to manage, and Grans mind sometimes muddled, forgetting what had happened two hours ago, and even her own name at times.

At least Gran remembered Julies father for a while and, before she became too forgetful, told Julie the whole storyhow hed come into her mothers life and left soon after.

Your mum didnt matter to him.

Why not?

A bit of a ladies man, he was. Had a string of girls just like her. I tried telling her, but she was in love. Convinced hed marry, said the others were just youthful mistakes.

Did he marry her?

Oh yes! Your mum, once she sets her mind, gets her way. But what good did it do? The moment he learnt she was expecting you, he vanished, like a puff of smoke at sunrise. Off he wentno word, not even an address. Just a note.

What did it say?

Does it matter, Julie? Those are their affairs. Lets leave them to it. All Ill say is you were so wantedyour mum tiptoed through her whole pregnancy, like carrying a crystal vase. Scared something would happen if she werent careful. And shes never truly calmed since. Wondered why she scolds you so, always trying to teach you?

Because she worries?

Exactly! She lies awake at night sometimes, sits and looks at you, mutters to herself, strokes your hair, nearly criesseen her myself, I have. Ask, and she snaps at me. Its her secret. She loves you, Julieas best she can. Understand?

Crystal clear Gran, did you scold Mum like that?

Of course! All we mothers do the strangest things out of fear and later regret it.

But why be scared?

For your child? I dont know, Julie. Youll never understand it till you have your own. Then perhaps youll see.

Julie said nothing at that, but she thought: shed never badger her children. Shed bring them up gently. Naïve but what child isnt?

Not that she thought shed ever have any children herself.

Whod pick someone like her? So little, not pretty, and as stubborn as a terrier. If she clung to you, youd just have to put up with her!

After finishing college, Julie went to work in the very hospital where her mother worked. Thats when the trouble really started.

Nothing she did seemed right. Julie was too eager, too tender with patients where she shouldnt betheyll take advantage of you, you know, colleagues warned. You fuss too much, wear yourself out, and for what? Patients come, patients go. You cant help everyone. Better take it easy! Therell always be more.

Julie never listened. Every patient made her heart ache. Someone was suffering! In pain! Was it so hard for her to fetch a pillow or give a gentle word? Kindness matters to everyoneeven the hospitals resident cat!

Even her mum tried to warn her:

Dont push your luck, love. People here dont always take kindly to your sort. Youll end up falling out with everyoneand who will that help? Us? Gran? We need your wages now, more than ever. Dont want to send Gran off to a home, do we? Carers are dear, as you well know. You need the job, and someones got to watch over Gran.

Mum, I just cant! They shout at the patients, lose their tempers

Its a tough job, Julie, with all sorts in it. Youve seen for yourselfnot everyone has it in them. Some do, most dont. Theres a handful like you on the ward, isnt that enough? Ive spoken to your supervisor, she likes you, but she too says, Dont run yourself ragged. You cant force people to be kind. Be gentle; lead by example. You might have better luck.

But itll take ages!

Oh, Julie! Who do you take after?

Who?

So stubborn!

Must be you, Mum.

Julie!

What?

Nothing! Just do as your mum tells you!

Mm-hmm

Julie didnt want to row, but rarely listened to Mums advice. She might be right about some things, but what about Mrs. Hyde in Ward Threean old lady whose tongue was as sharp as a tack but who smiled at Julie every morning? She never complained about injections or too little attentionothers did, but not to Julie.

And she wasnt the only one. So manyworn out by pain, bickering endlessly with their families. Julie saw it all. Visitors obsessed with inheritance or some nonsense, while patients cried or grew angry afterwards. Small wonder! Who wouldnt be upset?

But Mum refused to hear it. Her only concern was that Julie be alright. But how could you be alright if the people around you were not?

She knew she couldnt warm everyone, but surely she could help some.

Let the other nurses laugh, saying Julie was so soft she ought to run off to a conventthat was their affair. Gran always said the caravan must carry on, no matter what

So Julies caravan carried on, plodding through the sands, sometimes choking for want of kindness.

Its hard, isnt it, when so few understand you? When theres no one to tell you youre just right, just as you are.

It wasnt that Julie was desperate for praiseshed grown used to doing without it. But since Gran had faded so, there wasnt even anyone to talk to. Mum only sighed and reminded Julie she ought to think of herself for once, and her friends were all marrying in quick successionpressing their bouquets into her arms.

I wont even bother throwing it! Time you settled down, Juliehere you are!

Julie accepted the bouquets, of course. She wouldnt offend the girls. But the onethat someone whos supposed to turn up the moment you hold the bridal flowerssimply never arrived. Perhaps he was lost, or perhaps she wasnt meant for one at all. Isnt some folk just whole by themselves?

She mostly made peace with that. Hardly waited anymore. Hers was no tale for a poetry book, and shed never admit her feelings first, even if there was anyone to tell.

Her life went round between the hospital, volunteering at her friends animal shelter, and caring for Gran, who no longer recognised Julie most days. Mum kept urging her to meet friends, but there was little point. Julie was fast turning into a confirmed old maid and had no interest in love or marriage.

Mum, if you want grandchildren, just say so! Ill have a coupleits easy enough these days.

Julie! Thats wickedly cynical!

Why? Princes are in short supply, Mum, not nearly enough to go round! Thats nature for you! What do you want from me?

Julie, I just want you to be happy

Then stop telling me to sort out my personal life. It doesnt want sorting. Its quite alright! See? No need to prodit only upsets things

And Mum would fall quiet, sighing and wondering anew whom to introduce Julie to next. Childhood friends sons were all settled, so there was nothing for it but to let fate decide.

And suddenly, fortune smiledbut not in the way Julie imagined.

She thought her hero would appear at her side and patiently wait for her affection. But nothing happened as shed pictured.

Lets start at the very beginning.

The real catalyst in Julies talea play more than a storywas none other than the irascible Mrs. Hyde in Ward Three. Twice a year, shed arrive, throwing the whole staff into chaos with her complaints.

Here she comes, pen ready to write her grievances! Oh, just let her be well, thatd save us all! Julie, shes your favouriteYOU meet her!

Mrs. Margaret Hyde Maggie to those brave enough would brighten at the sight of Julie racing down the corridor.

My dear girl! So glad youre here! A human face amid the rest of the vampires!

Youre unfaireveryones good at heart.

Youre young, you dont know trouble yet! Ive lived long enough to judge! Dont argue with me!

I wontIll just show you to your bed before you terrify the rest!

Fear does them good!

You are dreadful, Mrs. Hyde!

Certainly! But Im a kitten compared to my cat. Youve never met her! Now SHE has the market on mischief!

Julie would nod, forgetting all about the catwhich was a shame, because she did end up meeting her.

It happened when Mrs. Hyde returned to the ward uncharacteristically silent and subdued.

For the first time, she didnt complain, didnt bicker. She followed Julie quietly, turned to the wall, and refused to speak, brushing away Julies questions with a wave of her hand.

Off you trot, dear Later

Some hours on, Julie knew the truthboth the diagnosis, and that Mrs. Hyde had admitted herself.

Had a row with her children, seenow shes miserable. Silly mother! If you dont give your children warmth, dont be surprised when no ones there to bring you tea in your old age!

Julie let this platitude pass. Unless youd seen the family riverbed, how could you know what currents ran there? Scratch the surface and everyones right in their way. No sense judging.

At the close of her shift, Julie peeped into Margaret Hydes room.

How are you? Can I get you anything?

A long, considering lookthen, just as Julie moved to go, Mrs. Hyde spoke up.

Julie, I want to to ask you something. Not sure how, really I was never one for requests. My mother always said, If you want something, dont waitget on and do it! No one else will do it for you. But what if you cant any longer? She never said

What is it? Pleaseask away!

The trouble is, dear, Ive family coming out my ears but not a soul I care to trust. Ridiculous, really. A whole life, yet not much to recall. Small handful of happiness, heap of worries. Thought Id do better by my children, but all I did was spoil them. Now Im still here, and theyve already divided whats mine Gave them everything I couldmy own flat to my daughter and son so theyd not be burdened. Sold my mothers place too. I saw them raised, educated, grew up with my grandchildren while my legs would take me Now what? Im not wanted. Neither am I Julie, my dear, please, take in my Maisie.

Who?

My cat! Shes a handful, but clever as anything. She knows everything I do. When I was leaving for hospital, she wouldnt let me out the door! Would you?

Julie hesitated.

She loved animals, but neither she nor her mum felt they could take one on. Too much upheaval for Gran, too, and money was always tight. Still, seeing Mrs. Hydes pleading facewell, a soul has its shadows, but if you can brighten a corner, why not try?

Later, she found her mother and explained. After a pause, Julie set off to fetch the cat.

Ill take Maisie, Mrs. Hyde. But only until you come home! Then you can have her back.

Of course, Julie, of course

Mrs. Hyde nodded, almost shrinking down; for once, she looked grandmotherly, not fierce.

Arriving at Mrs. Hydes home, keys in hand, Julie hesitated to go in alone. She hovered on the landing, then knocked on a neighbours door.

Yes?A pleasant young woman answered, a sleepy baby on her hip.

Sorry. Mrs. Hyde asked me to collect her cat. Would you mind waiting at the door while I catch her?

Dont want to go in alone? Sensible girl! Shes a cantankerous old dear; best not to cross her.

Oh, shes quite sweet, really. Were none of us angels!

True that!the neighbour grinned. Go on! Well wait, wont we, Charlie?

Charlie gurgled. And the mission began.

Except the moment Julie opened the door, a streak of black lightning shot out, flew down the stairs, and was gone. Julie barely had time to gasp.

Mind you dont let the door slam!the neighbour called. Youll never catch her now. Shes fiercemind your hands! Good luck!

Thanks!

Julie darted down the stairs two at a time, hoping the front door was shut.

No such luck. The door stood open, and two sturdy removal men were loading furniture from a van.

Have you seen a cat?Julie asked doubtfully.

One man nodded towards a clump of trees.

Up that tree!

The rest laughed as Julie dashed about under the branches, where Maisie hissed from above. None offered to helpwaste of time for a cat. Time is money.

Julie couldnt see the cat in the mess of wet branches; only heard her hissing and wailing.

Maisie, here pussy-pussy-pussy!

A deep, angry growl was her only answer.

Oh, you monkey!Julie muttered, resigned.

Climbing the tree was the only answer. Maisie would never come down herself.

The rain was just starting, those fine, chilling drops that make autumn seem endless. What Julie wanted was to be home, under a fleecy blanket, with a hot cup of tea and her music. Even Mum’s nagging would be better than this. But shed given her word.

Heaving her rucksack onto her back, Julie gripped the first branch.

One, two, threeshe was halfway up.

Maisies snarling grew louder, then a paw lashed out at her face. Julie jerked back, just missing a scratch.

Maisie! Are you mad?! Ill

She was about to say dock your tail!but stopped herself. Who knew, perhaps Maisie was as clever as her mistress claimed. Best not to threaten her.

Julie climbed higher, grabbed the sodden cat by the scruff.

Let go of the branch!

Now Julie was hissing as angrily as the cat, which seemed to persuade Maisie they were of a kind. The cat loosened her grip and allowed Julie to tuck her under her coatwarm and dry, so, of course, Maisie settled and listened as Julie muttered at her foolhardiness.

Climbing up had been fine; coming down was worse. Only now, clutching Maisie, did Julie realise how high shed comeand shed always feared heights.

Looking down, she squeezed her eyes shut.

Mum

It was high

Novery high.

She inched forward. Rain lashed her back, and she began to grumble as bitterly as Mrs. Hyde herself.

You wretch, Maisie! Couldnt you do things properly just once? What possessed you?

Maisie, claws hooked into Julie’s jumper, stayed silent for once. Something about Julie’s tone reminded her of her owner: that rough, affectionate sadness you hear at farewells.

Time passed. Julie gripped the branch, berating herself. Shed rescued the cat but who would rescue her?

Her mobile wouldnt stop buzzing, but she hardly dared move to answer it.

She was too mortified to shout for help. Why embarrass herself further? Shed made her bedshe could lie in it.

Oi! Comfy up there, are you?

A teasing voice from nowhere shocked Julie so much she almost slipped.

Steady, easy! Hold tight! Ill get you down; just give me a moment!

The young man spoke as if she might leap off at any moment.

Yes, of course, take your time!she replied, her sarcasm lost on the darkness below.

Hmm

He vanished, and Julie returned to her self-chastisement.

Wonderful. Hes left. Maisie, why am I always like this

She didnt have time to finish.

He was back. Hed fetched a ladder from somewhere and set it against the tree.

Climb down! Unless you plan to sleep up there?

Eyes squeezed shut, Julie shook her head, then realised hed not be able to see.

Im scared, actually

But her admission ended abruptly. He grabbed her ankle, slid her down by her stomach along the wet branch, and in moments she found herself on the ladder, not even sure how.

Ive got you! Take it slow!

Honouring his instructions, Julie made her way down, feeling his hands steadying her.

As soon as she hit the ground, Maisie shot from her coat, but Julie swiftly caught her again by the scruff.

Stay! Sit tight! I promised your owner Id look after you!

Youre determined

The young man, spindly but keen-eyed, regarded her with clear amusement.

Want me to walk you home?

Ill Ill be fine!Julie snapped, but checked herself, flushing. Shed been rescued while looking a right mess, and now she was snappy on top of it.

Sorry Thank you, reallyyou saved me from spending the night up there!

Why were you there?

Im afraid of heights!

Then why did you climb?

For a cat. If youll excuse me, I really should goMumll be worried.

Why so formal? After seeing you dangle in the rain and risking my life for you, call me Tom, at least. Shall I walk you to the tube? Or home?

Im close.

Oddly, Julie wasnt cold anymore. With Tom beside her, something brighter seemed to fill the autumn night, warming her cheeks and making her smile at the slightest joke. Maisie stayed as quiet as a mouse under her coat, as if savouring the peace, careful not to disturb it.

Tom did walk Julie home. The next day he waited for her at the hospital park. They shopped for cat food together, discovering Maisie would only touch the finesta true taste for the posh.

Julie had her week with Maisie; but just thata week. Mrs. Hydes daughter came to fetch her mothers cat.

Mum misses her so much. Let them be together, wont you?

Will you take Mrs. Hyde too?

Of course! Shes my mum. She always refused to move in, but now she must. Thank you again!

And as the woman left, cradling a purring cat, Julie thought again how unknowable other peoples hearts and homes were. You cannot invent stories for their darknessesyou never know whats truly there. If someone needs even her mothers old cat, then perhaps things are not so simple as they look.

And really, instead of poking your nose into others lives, its better to build your own. Especially with someone you want to live it with. In the end, it didnt matter who spoke up first: what counted was something else entirely.

What mattered mostwhat really made a storywas that someone would appear, just when you needed, ladder in hand. And hed never tell you you were not quite right. Not for him. For him, thered never be anyone better in the world.