She Retired and Felt Hopelessly Alone – Only in Old Age Did She Realise She Had Lived Her Life All W…

I retired and felt irreparably alone. It was only in old age that I realised Id lived my life all wrong.

Many women believe that loneliness is dreadful. They say true happiness is having a big family, with all the worries and problems that come with it. I could never agree with that. I lived my whole life for myself. No one ever asked anything of me. There were no obligations or family ties.

After university, I landed a job at a large company dealing with international holidays. I also worked for a reputable agency as a model. I managed to earn plenty of money. My circle of friends consisted of other successful women with plenty of means.

I considered myself well-off and got the chance to travel everywhere. I had relationships with men I enjoyed being around, but whenever I grew bored, I simply ended things and moved on. The idea of having children never crossed my mindI couldnt imagine giving up my free time to look after them. Did I want to give up my lifestyle and become one of those mothers who worried endlessly over every little thing their child did? I know now, I was frightened of responsibility.

The years flew by. Now, Im a retired lady. I feel completely alone. I never married, never had children. At this age, I regret not having even one child. At the start, I didnt want them, then I had no time, and before long it was simply too late. I never really believed motherhood was a womans true happiness.

Now, I look at my sister, who has two grown-up children and three grandchildren. I was arrogant back then and refused to listen to anyone. Now, more than anything, I want to mend things with my family, spend time with my nieces and nephews, and maybe meet a gentleman whos just as alone to build a family with in this stage of life. Perhaps theres still time for me to find some fulfilment.